Hill "Cousin Bash": A Modest Proposal (& Very Long)

Here is my proposal for a Hill Family "Cousin Bash." 

NOTE ADDITION MADE RE:  LIA ON FRI 8/7. Sorry, Lia!

No dates are attached. Obviously, dates will have to be negotiated, & it goes w/o saying [I just realized that I said it anyway.] that, more than likely, not everyone will be able to make this work. *   *Admit it. If this works at all like a Hill family reunion or Sister Bash, this process alone could take years.

It is based on the premise that (a) most cousins live in primarily urban areas; therefore (b) most cousins will be looking for a geographical area that is located more "off the grid."

LOCATION

Badlands & Black Hills of South Dakota. Why? 

• Well, it's certainly off-the-grid. 
• How many of you have actually been there? 
• If you look at a map [Trust me, you don't actually have to look at a map.], it's more-or-less centrally located.
• It's very family-friendly . . . 
• . . . not to mention romantic [in it's own way, & I cautioned you not to mention it]. 
• It offers a plethora [one of my favorite words] of activities to please a wide-variety of tastes & interests; and
• It provides a contrast between thrilling adventures & relaxing interludes. 

I'll repeat again. You all know me, so . . . Trust me!

TRANSPORTATION

• You may want to check out flights into Rapid City Regional Airport:  www.rcgov.org/Airport/airlines.html. If you fly into Rapid City, you can rent your own vehicle or arrange shuttle service with me. According to Mapquest, you will need to allow just a little over an hour from the airport to the Badlands KOA for our first night's festivities.
• You may want to check out flights into Denver International Airport:  www.flydenver.com/. If you fly into Denver, you will have to rent your own vehicle, as I cannot provide shuttle service to & from Denver. According to Mapquest, you must allow around 7 1/2 hrs from Denver to the Badlands KOA for our first night's festivities.
• You may want to check out flights into Eppley Airfield Omaha:  www.flyoma.com/flight-information. If you fly into Omaha, your options are to (a) rent your own vehicle, or (b) I can make arrangements to provide custom shuttle service to & from Norfolk, which may involve overnight stays in Norfolk. [We have plenty of sleeping accommodations, as most of you know; clean linens, towels, soap, shampoo, conditioner, & good food will be provided--all at no additional cost!] According to Mapquest, you must allow around 7 hrs from Denver to the Badlands KOA for our first night's festivities. If you choose the Norfolk shuttle or choose to drive on your own to Norfolk first, it's about 2 hrs from Omaha to Norfolk & around 6 hrs from Norfolk to the Badlands KOA for the first night's festivities. Norfolk is on CDT. The Badlands & Black Hills are on MDT, so you will gain an hour on the way out & lose an hour on the way back, but it is a very scenic drive [mostly] between Norfolk & the Badlands/Black Hills. [I said "mostly."]
• While we are in the Badlands/Black Hills, I will provide shuttle services for those who do not have their own vehicles. 

SUGGESTED ITINERARY

Day 1:  Lodging at the Badlands KOA. There is a variety of "luxury" Kamping Kabins, Kabins, & tent sites to choose from, but reservations must be made well in advance. Check out koa.com/campgrounds/badlands/. Food:  We can have a wienie roast & make 'smores, but there are other food options provided by KOA (items @ Kamp store, Indian tacos, etc). Recreational opportunities are available, too (swimming, miniature golf, bicycles, strolling around the kampground & looking @ campers & RV's that none of us will ever likely be able to afford. Category:  relaxing interlude.

Day 2:  Breakfast provided by KOA. Many options! Excursion into Badlands National Park. Wildlife:  You WILL see prairie dogs & bison. * You PROBABLY will see pronghorn & bighorn sheep. You MIGHT see white-tail deer & rattlesnakes. Recreation opportunities include photography, hiking & sight-seeing, including possible "off-trail" hiking in the Sage Creek Wilderness area. Category:  relaxing interlude and/or thrilling adventure. Lunch:  picnic lunch provided by me OR buy your own at NPS vendor. Supper:  grilled brats & hamburgers @ KOA (other food options provided by KOA. SEE note above.)  * All wildlife is just that--WILD. I cannot be held liable for anything stupid you do in or around wildlife that may involve their unwarranted attention, i.e., being gored by a bison, like the German tourist who, a few years back, asked his wife to take a picture of him sitting on a reclining bison & was killed. You are all way smarter than that, right? Right?! **

** Also, I just remembered that prairie dogs can host fleas that carry bubonic plague. No, I'm not kidding. Leave them alone! And rattlesnakes will use prairie dog holes for shelter during the day. Don't stick your hands in a prairie dog hole. Ever!

Day 3:  Breakfast provided by KOA. Travel to Custer State Park, south of Rapid City, with side trip to Wall Drug in Wall, SD (www.walldrug.com). Recreation opportunities include sight-seeing, shopping. Lunch @ Wall Drug, where you will have a variety of fast food & entree-style meals to choose from, including bison burgers. On our drive from Wall Drug to a resort in Custer State Park, there will be opportunities to shop for Black Hills Gold. There will be a plethora [see previous comment] of shops to choose from. (Check out www.blackhillsgoldsource.com/). Our lodging will be in "luxury"cabins at one of several resorts. [We don't have to decide yet, but ultimately this may require a vote & reservations will have to be made well in advance.] (Check out options:  www.custerresorts.com). Supper @ CSP vendor @ resort. Recreation opportunities include photography, shopping, sight-seeing, possibly some casual hiking. Category:  primarily relaxing interlude.

Day 4:  Breakfast provided by CSP vendor @ resort. Tour including: 

• World-famous wildlife loop in Custer State Park, where you may actually get to drive through [No, not over. I realize this would probably be Paleo-man's preference. No offense.] a bison herd; 
• Needles Drive;
• Sylvan Lake;
• Hillsides ravaged by historic forest fires & pine beetle devastation;
• Mt. Rushmore. [The last thing I want to do is turn this post into a political firestorm, but I feel obligated to warn you in advance, since some of you MAY qualify as "low information voters--NO OFFENSE--our current president is NOT among those carved onto this mountain.]

Picnic lunch provided by me. You WILL see bison, prairie dogs, pronghorn. You PROBABLY will see wild burros. You MIGHT see bighorn sheep, mountain goats. There is a SLIM chance you will see mountain lions. There is a VERY SLIM TO NON-EXISTENT chance you will see jackalopes. Recreation opportunities include sight-seeing, photography, casual hiking. Supper:  chuck-wagon dinner provided by CSP vendor. Besides the aesthetic experience & entertainment, you will be amply fed & one of your options will be grilled steak! [I can personally vouch for the quality of this meal, as can Nathan, Brianna & Hadley.] Category:  combination relaxing interlude & thrilling adventure.

Day 5:  You're on your own! Breakfast provided by CSP vendor. Sack lunch provided by me, or you're on your own. Transportation provided by me, or you're on your own. Options:  

• Many more options & sites to see in Custer State Park than we possibly could have seen the day before;
• Bear Country USA;
• Reptile Gardens;
• Hike to the top of Harney Peak; * 
• Many other trails to hike in & around CSP [You can pick-up your trail guide or find your own on-line source. YOU can't expect me to do EVERYTHING. It's just about lunchtime.]; 
• Fishing (Check out www.fs.usda.gov/activity/blackhills./recreation/fishing?recid=25823...);
• Visit Jewel Cave National Park (www.ups.gov/jeca/); 
• Visit Wind Cave National Park (www.nps.gov/wica/); 
• Visit historic Deadwood, SD (www.deadwood.com/). You can visit the historic Mt. Moriah cemetery & see the actual graves of Wild Bill Hickock, Calamity Jane, Potato Creek Johnny, & other historical luminaries [Gotta love that word!]. There are other historical sites, plus a gold mine tour in the area. Also a casino, but since I am a member of the Nebraska Gamblers' Assistance Commission [Seriously, I really, truly am. I can show you my letter & certificate from Gov. Pete Ricketts!], I cannot advocate your visit to a godless Gomorrah, such as a casino, even if the lunchtime buffet is super fabulous;
• Hang out @ the resort & chill. 

Caveat:  Some of these options will require quite a bit of driving time, which may require (a) car-pooling and/or (b) a modification of personal plans for the day. Supper:  TBA. Category:  combination relaxing interlude & thrilling adventure [whatever you choose to make of it].

* An effort is underway to rename this peak, the highest in SD, "Black Elk Peak," since Colonel(?) Harney killed Indian women & children. I would not blame them if they did. Believe what you will about the wars between the U.S. Army & Plains Indians, but I consider myself fairly well-read. Yes, there were plenty of atrocities to go around on both sides, but I do not care much for ANYONE who perpetrated atrocities, especially those that included women & children. 

Day 6:  Field trip!  Breakfast provided by CSP vendor. Travel to Hot Springs, SD (about 35-min. drive, according to Mapquest). 

• Transportation:  We'll need to car pool.
• Tour Mammoth Site [for the paleontology lover, although you will have to "stomach" wretched talk and/or other information re:  evolution and Old Earth Age theory. Yes, I am biased toward scriptural accounts of creation & Young Earth theory, which, by the way, are very well-researched & reasonable, although you'd never know by searching "mainstream," so-called scientific sources. I'm just sayin'.];
• Enjoy Evans Plunge, a giant indoor swimming park where the waters are heated by natural, hot springs; 
• Lunch: There are many options to choose from in Hot Springs, & since we will be car-pooling, we don't have to all eat at the same location. [When Lois & I vacationed here some years ago, we ate several delicious & fairly economical meals @ a family-style restaurants, & one of the entrees was roast bison.} *                                              * In case you haven't caught on, bison entrees ALWAYS appeal to me. 

Return to resort early enough to pack, relax, enjoy cook-out provided by me OR another chuck-wagon dinner.

Day 7:  Depart. Breakfast provided by CSP vendor or on your own. Transportation:  On your own or as needed. Additional meals & lodging:  On your own.

Note:  Obviously(?!) this itinerary is open to suggestions & subject to change. [Who cares about my feelings & fragile mental & emotional condition?]

Other caveats:

Teresa:  If you choose options re:  gold or a gold mine tour, beware of anyone who approaches you re:  investment opportunities!  Your kids would love Bear Country [which I can personally attest to] & probably Reptile Gardens [which I've never been to].

Chris:  I tried in vain to confirm the following but could not. To the best of my knowledge, you will NOT be allowed to trap or in any way kill, slaughter, cook, & eat your own game. I'm not sure about gathering eggs, wild herbs & vegetables, etc. You may have to take a "diet holiday." Food choices @ KOA, Wall Drug, & CSP will undoubtedly include lots of meat options.

Nick:  I searched extensively for opportunities that might appeal to marine biologists & came up empty. However, there may be scuba activities available in area reservoirs. Ditto my comments re:  Bear Country & Reptile Gardens.

Jocelyn:  I can confirm that (a) it's probably legal to use trees in the national parks & forests to do your pole exercises; but (b) it's probably NOT legal to use any NPS SPS, or law enforcement or state or county or local or other municipality signs. I'm just sayin'.

Nathan:  You're already familiar with many of these options, so you also know that there are many more options to choose from. You have an unfair advantage.

Sarah & Rachel:  Ditto. [And, NO, there will be NO deals re:  the sighting of ANYTHING remotely resembling wildlife or other animal-like organisms. I STILL say I was unfairly taken unfair advantage of, no thanks to Mom. I'm not bitter . . . ]

Kyle & Kory:  Ellsworth Air Force Base is located just outside Rapid City. This may have economic implications re:  a "hop," borrowing a Humvee, shopping at a commissary . . . obviously I'm just speculating.

Katie:  You will be the designated first-aid resource, so plan to bring along as many  "borrowed" medical supplies as you can get your hands on.

Lynae:  There are many raptors in & around the Badlands & Black Hills, including bald eagles, golden eagles, a variety of hawks, vultures, & pterodactyls. [I tried 6 different spellings, & before spell check was happy w/me. Also, yes, I did see the latest Jurassic Park movie earlier this summer. I thought it was awesome.]

Lia:  Frankly, by the time you all get around to a Cousin Bash, I am pretty sure you'll need a break from the politically-correct confines of FSU. [NOTE:  I inexcusably omitted Lia from my original Cousin Bash post. Two things happen as you get older. You start to get forgetful & . . . I can't remember the other thing.]

I choose to list only cousins by name:  No offense.

Did I forget anyone?  It's definitely possible, and if I did, I am truly, truly sorry. [I could blame it on age, side effects of medication, sleep deprivation caused by recent issues re:  cluster headaches, but what good would it do? For sure it won't be because of spite. As far as you know.]

COSTS

Transportation:  Obviously you will have to cover your air transportation, vehicle rental costs, if any, & your share of my shuttle services. [Subject to modification if you rent your own vehicle.] If there is any car-pooling, I would assume the fair thing to do would be to at least offer to kick-in your share of fuel costs, if you share any rides with someone who rents their own vehicle.

Meals:  Any meals provided by KOA, Wall Drug, Custer State Park, and/or National Park Service vendors, meals & snacks you purchase on your own, plus your share of groceries purchased by personal food services that I provide.

Entrance & other entrance fees:  It will cost to get into Badlands National Park, Custer State Park, Jewel Cave & Wind Cave National Parks, Mammoth Site, Evans Plunge, & possibly other sites. You will also have to pay for a fishing license. If you are driving your own vehicle, you will have to pay a fee that will cover everyone in the vehicle. I think the fairest thing will be for everyone to share in the cost of these fees. [I have a lifetime NPS Senior Pass which cost me a whopping $10. We bought it at our first NPS stop @ Scott's Bluff National Monument, just outside Gering, NE, on Lois' & my 40th anniversary odyssey earlier this summer. I assume it would cover anyone in my vehicle, although I'm not 100% sure. This is one reason I think it would be fair for everyone to share in the total costs.]

Other expenses:  Souvenirs, snacks, tacky knick-knacks, etc. [Tip:  You will be able to find many "natural" items to bring back as souvenirs. Unfortunately & "technically," many of these items will be illegal for you to retrieve from their settings. Also, your transportation options may limit you from bringing back boulders, & I will most likely NOT let you use my personal shuttle service to transport anything illegal, nor will I be held personally liable for any such items you attempt to smuggle on your own person or in your own personal luggage. Is that clear?]]

My expenses:  I do NOT intend to profit from this venture. I will only look to have the following expenses covered, which I'm sure you'll understand are reasonable.

• My transportation expenses;
• My lodging expenses; [Depending on availability, I may need to stay in lodging outside of the KOA Badlands & Custer State Park Resorts. Naturally, I will choose from among many relatively inexpensive yet "luxury" options.]
• My share of meal expenses; 
• A daily newspaper [which, I should add, may not always be available to me, and, depending on my lodging choices, may be provided to me for free]; 
• A daily allowance for as of yet unforeseen yet reasonable items that I'm sure you will agree are fair;
• A share of any entrance and/or other fees that I must pay for my own admittance and vehicle. [SEE previous comment re: NPS lifetime senior pass.]

I will NOT be charging for my extensive knowledge of history, flora & fauna, & other exciting, factual & otherwise trivia, which I will gladly share with whoever is willing to listen, as your tour guide & Cousin Bash host.

IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERING . . . 

• Yes, I have spent an inordinate amount of time on this post, drinking an inordinate amount of coffee while doing so. [KUDO's to Sarah for her Keurig machine & Green Mountain Coffee Sumatran Reserve.] *
• I enjoy planning vacations & road trips, so if my wretchedly, ungrateful [no offense] nieces, nephews, & children choose NOT to take advantage of this--quite possibly--once in MY lifetime opportunity, well, not my problem.
• As I've shared before in other blog entries, I write for my own self-therapy, so it's been fun for me to write this blog, regardless of whether it's actually served any "useful" *** function, how much time it's taken, how much caffeine I've ingested, et al. ****

* Shameless commercial plug for which, unfortunately, I receive no remuneration. **

** Lois & I drove separately to Lincoln last FRI 7/31, so that we could be here for Sarah's b-day & enjoy the company of our son-in-law & grand-daughters. [And, I might & will add, they've been splendid hosts. I'd give this place a 4-star rating.] Lois had to return to Norfolk on Sunday, since her first back-to-school faculty mtg was Monday, & Christ Lutheran had back-to-school registration yesterday (8/4). I had to take my vehicle to Honda of Lincoln on Monday in order to have some warranty work done. Like I said, Craig & Sarah have been great hosts, & I've found plenty to keep me gainfully occupied, but I can't say my "retreat" hasn't been without a little anxiety. I've been getting updates from my friend Mark at the Service Center. Finally yesterday afternoon I got the phone call I wanted. MARK:  "We finally determined where the leaking transmission fluid was coming from & ordered all the necessary parts. They should all be here by tomorrow. We'll do our best to have your car finished by Wednesday." ME:  "And this is all warrantied, right?" MARK:  "Definitely." NOTE:  Up to yesterday's conversation, my questions re:  warranty had been answered, "Should be," and this repair involved pulling the transmission, so obviously it's going to be pretty pricey.

*** "Useful" is a relative term.

*** Don't you agree that et al sounds more distinguished than "etc"?.

I think it's time for me to take my medicine. Then, if it doesn't look as threatening outside, [We're in a thunderstorm watch, I think.] I'm going to walk up to the C-store on Touzalin & Fremont & purchase today's Lincoln Journal Star & most likely--& unfortunately--some junk food.