Pies, Cakes, Oreos, Pot, & Hardened Criminals

Food for Thought

We've been having beautiful, fall-like weather recently. When Lois gets up to go to school, I've been getting up, too. I make her "chick" coffee, * which she takes to school, then take the dog for his morning walk. Temperatures have been in the upper 50's & low 60's at that time in the morning (between 7:00-7:30a), with fair skies. Well, this morning was dark, gloomy, & rainy, which matched my mood. I just didn't have the mental energy or capability ** to take on a Theological Thursday blog post, so you'll have to settle for a post that's on a lighter side. I thought maybe it would help cheer me up. The jury's still out on that.
* Flavored coffee, & yes, I know it's a sexist comment. It's related to Lois & her sisters & one of their Sister Bash traditions. They're good sports about it. ***
** Did I just hear someone snicker & comment, "How can we tell the difference?" Hey, was that really called for?
*** Usually.

Excerpts from Norfolk Daily News (8/19):  "2016 Candidates hit the gym, try to skip pie." [Thus ending any aspirations I may have had for campaigning for public office.]

Also from NDN (8/25):  "Let them eat cake. A Florida couple--married 60 years--are still enjoying a tradition from their wedding day. Every anniversary they take a bite from the top layer of their wedding cake stored in a coffee can in their freezer. Ann & Ken Fredericks said they pour brandy over the dark fruitcake to moisten it & break off a piece. Ann said her children are appalled, but she said it's actually quite tasty w/the brandy & has never made them sick." [Appalled? Really?! Tradition is good. So is fruitcake, which makes me wonder if I can find a fruitcake @ Hy-Vee this time of year . . . ]

Excerpts from Omaha World Herald (7/7):  "Skinny Oreos not meant to be twisted or dunked. Oreos are getting a skinny new look, & its maker says the new cookie is a "sophisticated" snack for grown-ups that isn't meant to be twisted or dunked." [Somehow "Skinny", "sophisticated", & "Oreos" just don't seem appropriate when used in the same context.]

Also from OWH (7/10):  "Twinkie's revival proves sweet. In 2012, Hostess, the iconic American giant behind Ding Dongs, Ho Hos & Twinkies, was bankrupt, w/plans to slash more than 18,000 jobs & close its door for good amid a crippling nationwide strike. In 2013, a snack-cake savior appeared. The Missouri-based sweets maker was bought for $410 million by a partnership between private-equity giant Apollo Global Management & C. Dean Metropoulos, a Billionaire turnaround artist known as 'Mr. Shelf Space--for his revival of brands like Vlasic, Hungry-Man & Chef Boyardee.
          Now, the iconic dessert titan is resurgent, selling its golden cream-filled Twinkies across the world under the name Hostess Brands & turning down $2 billion offers from hopeful buyers . . . "  [My uncle drove a truck for Hostess. Whenever we made family visits on vacation, he had treats for us, including Twinkies. One year he had double-stuffed Twinkies--they had apparently gone through the "assembly" line twice. He kept them in the freezer. They were beyond delicious! To this day, I'm not sure any of my cousins can look a Hostess product in the face w/o getting nauseous, but I will always have fond memories of Twinkies & other Hostess snack cakes.] *
* My personal favorites are still probably Hostess Cupcakes. **
** No, my blood sugar levels are none of your business.

Also from OWH (8/27):  "Settling their beef w/a 'McWhopper'? This probably isn't what the United Nations had in mind when it established the International Day of Peace:  Burger King is asking McDonald's to join forces to create a 'McWhopper.' In full-page newspaper ads Wednesday, BK said it's calling for a truce w/McD's so that they can create a mashup of their most famous burgers--the Big Mac & the Whopper. Burger King says it wants to serve the concoction for a single day at a
popup location in Atlanta, a midway point between the headquarters of the two chains. BK is tying the publicity stunt to a nonprofit called Peace One Day, which says it promotes Peace Day . . .
          "In a response posted on its Facebook page, McD's CEO Steve Easterbrook said that the proposal was an inspiration for a good cause & he thinks the two companies could do 'something bigger to make a difference.' Then he took a dig at the ploy by BK. 'Let's acknowledge that between us there is simply a friendly business competition & certainly not the unequaled circumstances of the real pain & suffering of war,' Easterbrook said." [I for one would drive out of my way to buy this product, especially for such a worth cause! Personally, I think this has as good as or possibly even more realistic chance of bringing about peace than the current treaty being proposed with Iran. I'm just sayin'.]

Criminal Minds

Also from NDN (8/8):  "Man guilty of assault, gets life in matrimony. An East Texas man who pleaded guilty to assaulting his girl-friend's ex-boyfriend has been sentenced to life--in matrimony. Josten Bundy, 21, pleaded guilty on July 2 to assault w/bodily injury for a Feb. fistfight w/the ex-boyfriend of Elizabeth Jaynes, 19. Bundy said the ex was 'saying disrespectful things' about Jaynes & admitted he eventually punched the ex in the jaw.
          "At the sentencing hearing, Smith County Judge Randall Rogers asked Bundy whether Jaynes was 'worth it' & whether the couple were married . . . Then the judge said, 'You know, as part of my probation, you're going to have to marry her ... within 30 days.' Otherwise, he would send Bundy to jail for 15 days . . . Fearful of losing his job, Bundy applied for the marriage license & scheduled a date w/a justice of the peace." [I give this marriage 2 years, maybe 3 years, tops.]

Also from NDN (8/11):  "Pay for cake. Officials in Washington state want a former city employee to pay back nearly $800 in taxpayer money she spent on cupcakes for her own office farewell party. The Yakima Herald-Republic reported that when former Yakima Human Resources director Cheryl Ann Mattia resigned in December, she order $757.40 worth of gourmet cupcakes from a local cafe . . . Mattia said the cost of the cupcakes stemmed from a misunderstanding between her & a staff member when the order was placed. But she said it was a legitimate expense." [Connect the dots . . . blue state . . . taxpayer money . . . "it was a legitimate expense."]

Also from NDN (8/14):  "Say cheese. An Iowa City police officer said he 'happily obliged' a motorist who asked to take a selfie w/him after the man acknowledged that he'd smoked marijuana before driving . . . The officer wrote in a police complaint that, after taking Phelps in for alcohol & marijuana intoxication tests, Phelps 'requested to take a Snapchat selfie w/me, to which I happily obliged.'" [I had to go back & re-read this article twice to confirm this incident happened in Iowa City, not Boulder, CO.]

Also from OWH (8/14):  "Gambler pleads guilty after fake chips clog toilet. A man [in Atlantic City, NJ] admitted Thursday that he brought millions of dollars in counterfeit poker chips to use in a casino's poker tournament, a scheme that was uncovered when he clogged a pipe by flushing the chips down the toilet. [As a member of the Gamblers' Assistance Commission of Nebraska, it would not be ethical for me to comment on this item. *]
* Seriously, I really am I member of GAC; appointed by Governor Pete Ricketts & confirmed by the Nebraska State Legislature. ** I have the certificate to prove it!
** Did you know that Nebraska has the only unicameral form of state legislature? Stick with my blog entries regularly . . . you never know what useful information you will pick up.