Special Thursday Edition

Whimsy

Excerpt from Parade Magazine (11/15/15):  "Stats 101 Canine Number Crunching. 12-14--Avg hours dogs sleep a day. Most spend another 30% of their day lying around awake." [Any similarity between this statistic & my dog Sammy is purely intentional.]

Excerpt from OWH:  "Millennials in government jobs:  4 myths debunked. 

1. They have higher turnover rates than older generations.
2. They're less passionate than older workers about their jobs in government.
3. They don't stick around; they'll decamp to the private sector in a heartbeat.
4. It's harder to recruit them for public service than from previous generations." [And here I've been bad-mouthing millennials for how long? I sincerely apologize. With the exception of one or two millennials. You know who you are.]

Also from OWH (11/16):  "Seasons bleatings:  Christmas calls for Nativity creatures. From camels to donkeys, the demand for scene-setting animals has been booming. Some farmers have extra reason to rejoice at Christmas:  It's the season for renting out animals for live Nativity scenes & other holiday events." [Very few people realize that Judean shepherds commonly used lab-beagle mixes to help them "guard their flocks by night." I'm just sayin', my dog, the afore-mentioned Sammy, is available for immediate rental. Not to worry. He's fairly docile & will spend most of his time sleeping or lying around awake.]

Criminal Minds

Excerpt from Norfolk Daily News (11/2/15):  "Tiger bit woman who tried to pet it, police say. A woman who apparently sneaked into Omaha's zoo early Sunday & tried to pet a tiger was severely injured & had to be hospitalized, according to authorities . . . According to police, the incident might have occurred at 4:00a. Authorities didn't learn of it until 7:20a, when they were called to the hospital to handle a disturbance involving Eide [the perpetrator]. Police described Eide as being aggressive toward Creighton [med center] staff &  showing signs of intoxication. They cited Eide on suspicion of criminal trespass." [But she got bit by a tiger & voluntarily went to a hospital for treatment!]

Excerpt from Omaha World Herald (11/3):  "Woman bitten by tiger has history of DUIs. A woman being treated for a tiger bite after allegedly entering the Henry Doorly Zoo & Aquarium after hours has a history that includes 3 convictions for driving under the influence in Nebraska . . . Eide is being treated for injuries to fingers on her left hand after she allegedly tried to pet a tiger at the zoo about 4:00a, SUN, according to the police report . . . The zoo, responding to concerns expressed in social media, said it will not punish Mai [the tiger] or change anything about her lifestyle as a result of the incident." [Change her lifestyle? What--train her not to bite inebriated, early-morning, unauthorized zoo visitors?]

Food for Thought

Also from Parade Magazine (11/15):  "Around the Table:  Brussels Sprouts Southern Style. Our national love affair with Brussels sprouts doesn't seem to be ending--and this Thanksgiving is no exception." [Brussels sprouts? National love affair?? Wait . . . what?]

Also from OWH (11/13):  "In two U.S. cities, KFC will bring you a bucket. In a U.S. first, KFC is offering delivery to customers in L.A. & San Francisco. The chicken chain said it expects to expand the delivery service into Houston by the end of their year. More cities may come later. [My faith is restored. We live in the greatest country in the world!]

Political Tuesday is Back . . . On Wednesday! *

Also from OWH (11/10):  "Bellevue board keeps rule in place. A controversial rule adopted last month to accommodate transgender students in Bellevue Public Schools will remain in force, the school board decided...Board members refused to rescind the rule despite facing an unruly crowd of parents critical of the policy...School district attorney Aimee Bataillon said that delaying implementation would weaken the district's defense if a discrimination complain were filed on behalf of a transgender student.
      "Ray Cluff, a pastor, spoke against the transgender policy...Cluff said his greatest concern was the 'potential invasion of privacy & personal morality of all the students. Under the policy, it is possible for a 4th-grade girls to see a transgender male in her restroom or a locker room. It is only my assumption, but I think a transgender male & a male look the same. naked.' The rule deals w/access to locker rooms & bathrooms, dress codes & privacy." [Well, why WOULDN'T you respect the rights of alleged, transgender, teenage boys over the safety of 4th-grade girls?]

Also from OWH (11/13):  "Legal pot a bad idea, Colorado officer says. Drug investigator says allowing marijuana use increased his work & reduced public safety. Before Colorado voters legalized marijuana 3 years ago, advocates argued that the move would afford police more time to crack down on really serious drug offenses. Put that argument in the 'mythical' category, a CO drug investigator said Thursday during a presentation at the NE State Capitol.
      "Legal pot shops have failed to wipe out the black market for marijuana, where there's still money to be made...'Our resources are not being freed up...They're absolutely being consumed by marijuana investigations...'
      "Colorado voters made recreational marijuana legal, effective in 2014. In the nearly 2 years since, impaired driving & traffic fatalities linked to marijuana have increased, as have pot-related emergency room visits...As for the impact it has had on children, CO now ranks 3rd in the nation when it comes to youths between the ages of 12-17 who use marijuana...Drug-related school suspensions increased by 40% in 2013, compared w/the 2008 school year." [No, no, no. Pot is perfectly harmless. We've been told this over & over again by . . . oh, wait . . . never mind.]
* Actually, late on Thursday.

There is no place like . . . 

Iowa!

Also from OWH (11/14):  "Stupid? Really? 'How stupid are the people of Iowa?' Donald Trump asked. Well, not stupid at all. In fact, IA is one of the smartest states in America. The Washington Post crunched 4 measurements. State IQ, 2015 ACT scores, 2015 SAT scores, & the % of college graduates in the state. The results of the analysis? IA is the 8th-smartest states...Nebraska is 12th. Trump's home state of New York came in 17th." [Yes, it stings a little to come in behind Iowa, but it's offset by the fact that we beat out "he who shall not be named's" state.]

Michigan . . . and NEBRASKA!

Also from OWH (11/14):  "Gold Star families appreciate MSU notes. NE deserved a gold star for last weekend's touching tribute to the widows & children of war dead, but so do some other folks--Michigan State football players. The Spartans had flown from East Lansing to Lincoln on Friday, & were encouraged to write notes to the passengers who would sit in their seats on the same plane Saturday as part of the Gold Star Kids Honor Flight.
      "The morning of the Nebraska-Michigan State game, 22 war widows & 35 children who lost their husbands or fathers in Afghanistan & Iraq boarded in Omaha & flew the short hop to Lincoln...The families also were amazed by the outpouring of support in both airports, as well as Memorial Stadium. A national audience saw it on ESPN." [No comment necessary.]