News About Lois Tops This Feature!

Today anything but whimsical for Lois

• Lois' day began with the first surgical procedure on her lower right eyelid early this morning. We got to the clinic at 6:55 a.m. Everything went smoothly, & we were actually back at the hotel (we stayed in Bellevue, just south of Omaha, overnight) before 8:30. I actually made it to the very well-stocked breakfast bar before it closed, but this entry is all about Lois, & I digress.
• Her 2nd procedure--to close the wound--was scheduled for 12:00 @ the UNMC in Omaha, but we were advised to get there by 11:30 in order to complete paperwork. Based on "advice" from Mapquest, we got there by 11:25.
• At 12:20, they got her into pre-op. I was allowed to accompany her but unable to get my hands on anything useful (bandages, scalpels, etc). I must compliment the nurses, anesthesiologists, & surgeons for all their helpful information & kindness. [Because it's true; not because I had to sign off on a "compliments clause" among all the other paperwork.]
• I thought I was being helpful when at one point I noted that, based on what I was seeing on Lois' monitor, she had "flat-lined." I was informed verbally by both Lois & the nurse that they had disconnected her monitor. Boy, did I feel stupid!
• At about 2:00, they wheeled her off to surgery & I was given directions to the surgery waiting area. Despite the free coffee, tea & hot chocolate, I chose to walk the short distance to the "convenience store", located conveniently in the hospital, & buy lunch (pretzel & cheese, peanuts, candy bar, bottled water). Staff in the convenience store & waiting room were also very gracious & helpful. Magazines were old--I ended up walking to the gift shop & buying a [cringe] Time Magazine. [If you know my political persuasion, you know why I cringed, but my next best choice was a celebrity magazine with a Kardashian on the front cover.]
• Lois was in surgery from about 2:30-4:15. 
• The surgeon came down & talked to me. He was very thorough in his explanation. Thanks to my extensive medical knowledge, based on years of watching TV procedurals such as ER, NCIS, CSI, etc., I could take the time to explain it all to you, but this is already turning into a long post. Basically, everything went well.
• About 15 min. later I was called back to post-op, which we left at 5:00. Lois was, in medical parlance, "not at the top of her game." [That's for her to describe at her discretion.]
• A very nice nurses' aide(?) or orderly(?) took her on a wheelchair ride down to 1st floor. We had taken advantage of valet parking. While she waited in the car, I went back up to the pharmacy for her antibiotics & pain meds. 
• We got back to the hotel a little after 6:00.
• I would summarize her post-op condition thusly:  "ooky" stomach, so the small bottle of merlot she brought along for tonight? Not gonna happen; a headache she describes as "bad" but "not awful," which came on later this morning, probably due to CDD *; big eye patch on right eye [I can't describe the wound, because I only know what the doctor told me--I haven't seen it--I know there are stitches; Lois wouldn't let me take pictures]; feeling very washed out; does her eye hurt? "not too much"; she has a prescribed pain-killer she can take at bedtime if she chooses; [I suppose I can take it, if I choose to, also, but again, this entry is all about her, not me, so once again I digress.]
• She doesn't have much depth perception so was completely unreasonable about driving back to the hotel; also can't see well enough to text, use Facebook, read, etc.
• We will head back to Norfolk after we check out later tomorrow morning (THU 11/5). She'll recuperate tomorrow & Friday. Her first surgeon this morning absolutely prohibited her from working on Friday, & she is NOT protesting at this time (7:09p, CST, WED 11/4).
• She goes back for her first post-op exam, which will include removal of some stitches, this next TUE 11/10.
• I'll let her share more details on her own FB page at her leisure.

* caffeine deficit disorder **

** You laugh? Those of us who live on caffeine do NOT think it is amusing.

Whimsy

Excerpt from Lincoln Journal Star (10/31/15):  "Dogs dressing up for more than Halloween. Wally the Welsh corgi used to get dressed up to go trick-or-treating for Halloween, often as a banana, once as a dinosaur. But Wally, owned by Marc & Cynthia Dalangin of Wharton, NJ, doesn't go trick-or-treating anymore. Like a lot of busy dogs, he has too many other engagements. And as a budding Instagram celebrity, he needs a wardrobe full of costumes to choose from." [We were out-of-town on Halloween, but I still feel like I may have let Sammy down.] *
* I also must confess--I have no idea how to use Instagram.

Excerpt from Norfolk Daily News (10/14/15):  "Woman accused of shooting at shoplifters. A suburban Detroit woman is facing firearms charges after authorities said she shot at an SUV's tire to stop two shoplifters fleeing a Home Depot parking lot. Tatiana Duva-Rodriguez of Clarkston was charged Tuesday w/one count of reckless use, handling or discharge of a firearm, Oakland County Prosecutor Jessica Cooper said. The charge is a misdemeanor & carries a 90-day jail sentence upon conviction." [Am I the only one who wonders if she can get convicted by a jury of her peers?]

Excerpt from Omaha World Herald (10/13/15):  "Elephant Lucy passes on PETA. Here's one offer that Lucy, the Jersey shore's giant wood-and-tin elephant, will forget. The folks who care for the 6-story tourist attraction just outside Atlantic City have rejected an offer from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals to fund part of Lucy's restoration in return for using the attraction for anti-circus messaging. PETA * wanted to decorate Lucy 'in a way that would educate visitors about the grim lives facing elephants in circuses.' That would have included shackling one of her feet & affixing a teardrop below one eye.
      "But Richard Helfant, CEO of Lucy's board of trustees, said that would risk scaring or upsetting children who visit. 'Lucy is a happy place,' he said. 'We must always ensure that children who visit Lucy have a happy experience & leave w/smiles on their faces. Anything that could sadden a child is not acceptable here at Lucy.'" * This is an error! It was actually PETERO. **
** "People for the Ethical Treatment of Elephants, Real or Otherwise"

Excerpt from USA Today (10/30/15):  "It's officially the holiday season at Walmart, Target." [My heart was buoyed by this news. Who knew that Walmart & Target celebrated the Reformation holiday season?!]

Criminal Minds

Also from NDN (9/28):  "Falling drugs. Maya Donnelly awoke to what sounded like thunder in the early morning hours, but dismissed it as a typical monsoon storm & went back to sleep. Later that morning, she looked in the carport at her home in Nogales, Ariz., near the U.S.-Mexico border, & saw pieces of wood on the ground. She found a bulky bundle wrapped in plastic. Inside was roughly 26 lbs of marijuana--a package that authorities say was worth $10,000 & likely was dropped there accidentally by a drug smuggler's aircraft.
      "'It's all right on top of our dog's house,' Donnelly said of the Sept. 8, incident. 'It just made a perfectly round hole through our carport.'" [It's been over a month & still no word from PETDSDMPDH.] **
** People for the Ethical Treatment of Drug Smugglers Who Drop Marijuana from Planes onto Dog Houses

Also from NDN (10/6):  "No danger. A wedding gift was no joke to TSA agents checking bags in a screening room at the Denver International Airport. An agent watching an X-ray monitor spotted wax fuses inside a checked bag at the airport. TSA said the bride & groom's names both start with a 'T,' so their wedding souvenirs were labeled TNT.
      "TSA issued a statement on Instagram that there was a 20-minute evacuation while bomb specialists checked the bag. They determined that while the wax & fuses were on bottles that said TNT, inside was just bath salts. The bottles were wedding favors for guests. [The TSA issues statements on Instagram?!]

There is No Place Like . . .

Nebraska!

Excerpt from Omaha World Herald (10/25/15):  "One for the record books. Fisherman snags 113-lb paddlefish, the largest fish ever caught in state of Nebraska. It won't seem real, Tom Keller says, until he sees the replica of his state-record paddlefish hanging on his wall. But just where, he wonders, do you hang a 113-lb, 4-oz monster that stretches 69" from its nose to the tips of its tail?
      "'It's the biggest fish ever caught on record in the state of Nebraska,' Keller said. 'That's the part that's hard to sink into your brain." [The biggest fish I'VE ever caught in Nebraska was a 4.25 lb. large-mouth bass in a sandpit lake. The biggest fish I've ever caught ANYPLACE was a red snapper that my companions estimated @ around 10 lbs on a fishing trip while in Florida for a family reunion. No, I'm not jealous. * Go Big Red!]
* Yes, I am. A little.

Excerpt from Lincoln Journal Star (10/31/15):  "Eichorst gives high marks to NU student-athletes . . . And while the football team struggles to win the close ones [and don't ask me about last Saturday's loss vs Purdue], Eichorst reminded the crowd of current & retired businessmen that Nebraska has its priorities in order & that it continues to put the emphasis on the 'student' part of the student-athlete. [my emphasis added] To-wit:  Nebraska's 595 student-athletes posted a collective GPA of 3.15 during the most recent semester--the 5th consecutive semester with a collective GPA of 3.0 or higher." [That's right! Regardless of how our FB team does, we have our priorities straight!] **
** I said DON'T ask me about last Saturday's FB game!

Food for Thought

Also from NDN (9/11):  "An unlikely recipe a hit online. Every evening, 14-yr-old Kim Sung-jin orders fried chicken, delivery pizza or Chinese food to eat in a small room in his family's home south of Seoul (Korea}. He gorges on food as he chats before a live camera w/hundreds, sometimes thousands, of teenagers watching. That's the show, & it makes Kim money:  $1,700 in his most successful episode.
      "Better known to his viewers by the nickname Patoo, he is one of the youngest broadcasters on Afreeca TV, an app for live-broadcasting video online launched in 2006...Shows like Kim's are known as 'Meok Bang,' a mash-up Korean word of broadcast & eating. They are the most popular & often most profitable among some 5,000 live shows that are aired live at any given moment on Afreeca TV. [A TV show where you can sit in front of a camera and eat? See previous comment re:  jealousy.]

Favorite taglines from Drudge Report WED 11/4 *

* I didn't bother to read the articles.

"American flags, Obama effigies burned in Tehran..." [Run those Iran treaty details by me again?!]
"Tehran will not cooperate directly or indirectly with the U.S. ..." [Wait . . . what?]
"San Fran 'sanctuary sheriff' ousted..." [There is no place, & I mean it sincerely, like California.]
"Middle schooler given detention for hugging friends at school..." [We can all sleep easier.]
"Vultures taking over neighborhood..." [No vultures roosting in our neighborhood...yet.]