Whatever WED 9/23

There is No Place Like . . . 

Iowa? *

Excerpt from Omaha World Herald (9/22):  "No votes, but he'll probably get post. An Iowa farmer who was running unopposed for his local school board failed to earn any votes--not even his own--but he'll probably get the job. Between Randy Richardson's FT maintenance job at a bean-processing plant in Riceville & his chores on his farm near McIntire, he didn't find time to vote for himself . . . Richardson, 42, was recruited to run by school staff. He has two kids in the district. Neighbor Jessie Miller said there wasn't any key issue to drive her to vote in the school board race. 'I would have voted for him,' she said. 'He's an awesome guy.'" [Iowans take their citizenship seriously.]
* Notice the color symbolism? Iowa? Blue? Blue state? Get it?

Nebraska! *

Also from OWH (9/19):  "Ensuring proper salute. Kearney High School students are stepping up to fill the need for buglers at military funerals. Rick Mitchell, KHS band instructor, said he has played military funerals for several years after he discovered there is a shortage of buglers. Because of the shortage, an electronic bugle is often used to play a recorded version of taps. That didn't stand well w/Mitchell . . . when he found himself unavailable to play at a funeral, he turned to band students Caleb Hardy & Bailey Premer to fill the void." [Really no need for a comment here.]
* Nebraska. Red state? Get it? Do I really have to explain everything?

Food for Thought

Also from OWH (9/16):  "One-third of U.S. kids eat fast food every day. "About 1/3 of U.S children & teens eat pizza or other fast food every day, a new government report shows. That' about the same as it was in the 1990s. [So does this mean we're making progress? Lagging behind? Here's a thought . . . More American kids & teens need access to Valentino's.]

Criminal Minds

Excerpt from Norfolk Daily News (8/19):  "Potty problem. Parrotheads are apparently too busy wasting away in Margaritaville to wait in line for the bathroom. Mansfield, MA, police said that despite warnings against the practice, many fans at the Jimmy Buffett concert SAT at the Xfinity Center brought home-made, portable toilets for the party in the parking lot. Thompson estimates that 75-100 people were instructed to take down makeshift outhouses, but officers found 7-10 left behind after the show. [For what it's worth, I've never been a big fan of Jimmy Buffett. I'm just sayin.']

Why I Shouldn't Be an Advice Columnist

Also from OWH 'Ask Amy' (9/15):  "Dear Amy: My husband & I have been together for 25 years. He has decided that he will retire in 3 years. He is in a union & has a good retirement plan through  his company. I have been working the entire time of our marriage, but my company does not have a retirement plan. So I will have to continue to work while he is retired, & I imagine that I will be working for the rest of my life to keep up with the bills. My husband also carries our health insurance through his work, so now the expense of the health insurance will be an added expense for us. I am feeling quite angry over his decision to retire, leaving me to work. I have tried to discuss this, but he says it is not up for discussion. He says he's done with working, period."
        MY ANSWER:  What? You are FEELING quite angry? Are you a millennial or what?! Time to get over your pity party & start thinking about your husband & his wants & needs, okay? He gave you three years' notice, for cryin' out loud!

Miscellaneous

Also from NDN (6/15):  "'I Don't Know'. There's a new Chinese restaurant in Rochester, NY. The name? I Don't Know. Seriously, the I Don't Know Chinese Restaurant recently opened in the western NY city. Owner Jessie Dong told the Democrat & Chronicle of Rochester she came up w/the unusual name because whenever she would ask her 3 children what they wanted to eat, their response would be 'I don't know.'" [Seriously, if it wasn't for my schedule & responsibilities, it would be worth a road trip just to check this place out.]

Also from OWH (9/16):  "Selfies with wild animals? Don't be that tourist. Colorado's Waterton Canyon Park has bears, & those bears have a problem:  hikers wielding selfie sticks. 'We've actually seen people using selfie sticks to try & get as close to the bears as possible, sometimes within 10 ft. of wild bears,' Brandon Ransom, manager of recreation of Denver Water, the public utility that maintains the park, said in a blog post. 'The current situation is not conducive for the safety of our visitors or the well-being of the wildlife.' . . . But Waterton Canyon isn't the only park that has raised alarms about hikers w/overeager photography habits. Last year the U.S. Forest Service chided visitors of a park around Lake Tahoe for overbearing behavior during salmon spawning season . . .
      "In July, a woman was gored by a wild bison in Yellowstone National Park after stopping to take a selfie w/the beast & her 6-year-old daughter. At the time, it was the 5th bison attack of the year in the park--& the 3rd involving tourists trying to take photos w/the animals." [This is worth a few bullet points.]

• Hannah, I think you follow my blog posts occasionally, & I heard that you & Hank were headed to Yellowstone for your honeymoon. We saw tourists taking pictures, although, in all fairness, not selfies, way too close to bison. Please do not be these people.
• Wanda, I think you follow my blog posts occasionally. I hope you & John weren't the "chided visitors" being referenced around Lake Tahoe for "overbearing behavior." By the way, get it? Overbearing!?]
• I have mixed feelings about these warnings & overbearing [LOL **] actions by government officials. First, as taxpayers, shouldn't we be entitled to take pictures of whatever we want, wherever we want on public lands? Secondly, shouldn't we be encouraging this type of behavior for the sake of the human gene pool? ** "Looney old Lutheran, that's me.

Also from OWH (8/25):  "On own land, lion hunter is tough on poaching. Long before he was accused of poaching an African lion named Cecil last month, Walter Palmer was stalking suspected poacher on his own private hunting land in MN. The Twin Cities dentist guarded his acreage & property lines so fiercely that he alienated & even frightened local hunters, said residents & officials. Run-ins w/Palmer became the stuff of local hunting lore, said Clay County Commissioner Jenny Mongeau . . . 'You don't go close to it because he would report you,' said Mongeau. 'He has zero positive relations w/any of the neighbors, which is very uncommon for this area.'" [Okay, dude, in previous blog posts I seem to remember coming to your defense, but this? Now the gloves are off. I better not read or see or hear of any more of such shenanigans, or I won't be responsible for what may show up in future blog posts. Understand?]

Aren't you impressed by all my links? My son Nathan taught me how to add links when we visited Laura & him over Labor Day weekend. * Now I need him to teach me how to add pictures & text boxes.
* I think his ulterior motive was to get me to shorten my blog posts. **
** Good luck with that.