Backstory

You should never feel obligated to read my backstory, but it seems to me that it helps put things in context. Besides, if you read my blog entries off & on, you know that I write for my own self-therapy.

Prior to agreeing w/my Board of Directors early in Novemvber 2014, that I needed to begin an indefinite medical leave of absence to address issues related to burnout that were seriously impeding my ability to successfully accomplish my work as head administrator of Lutheran High Northeast in Norfolk, NE, I was reading the proverbial "hand-writing on the wall." Already in the spring of 2014, I had visited w/my psychiatrist re:  my concerns, particularly my the increasing difficulty I was having with my focus & concentration. After listening to me--something I've always appreciated about this doctor--he added a diagnosis of "general anxiety disorder" (GAD) to his diagnosis of clinical depression [since 2004-2005], & prescribed medication that was supposed to help me focus better. Now on to . . . 

GAD

According to the National Institute of Mental Health Institute (NIMH) web site, here are signs & symptoms. "People w/GAD . . . 

• "Can't seem to get rid of their concerns, even though they usually realize that their anxiety is more intense than the situation warrants. [Example:  When I attempted to amputate--accidentally, the tip of my left forefinger the other day, resultubg in a gush of what easily could have been mistaken for arterial blood, I MIGHT have suffered more intense anxiety than the situation warranted. If you desire more context, look for my most recent "New Dog Owner Odyssey" blog post.]
• "Can't relax, startle easily, & have difficult concentrating. [For a long, long time it has been difficult for me to take a vacation day at home. My anxiety about the work piling up at school would usually be too great for me to handle. This in turn stressed my long-suffering spouse dearly, which added to my never-ending anxiety loop--my fault, by the way, not hers.]
• "Often have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep. [This symptom fit me ro a T!]
• "Physical symptoms that often accompany the anxiety include fatigue *, headaches [Some of you know I have suffered from chronic cluster headaches, but I don't feel like exploring that topic here], muscle aches *, difficulty swallowing, trembling, twitching **, irritability ***, sweating, nausea, lightheadedness ****, having to go to the bathroom frequently *****, feeling out of breath *, & hot flashes."

* SEE next section for further insights.

** Don't think so, but, in all modesty, I can put on a heckuva nervous twitching exhibition, if I have to.

*** For a long time I was in denial about this one, but my wife kept calling me on it. While I preferred to see it was other people's lack of patience or annoying habits I eventually was led to see as more likely a symptom of my GAD.

**** Don't think so but wouldn't argue w/the term "air-headedness."

***** Could also be a side-effect of medications or, as my urologist & I would tend to believe, a side-effect of a 62-year-old bladder. Burt I digress.

What seems to help me (including caveats)

• Medication:  I've been on alprazolam (low dosages) as prescribed by & closely monitored by my psychiatrist for years, originally to help me fall asleep & or fall back asleep, if I woke up during the night & started experiencing anxious thoughts that kept me awake. It's probably more commonly known as Xanax, & it has it's detractors. Among many sites where you can find useful information about medication, I find the Mayo Clinic's site to be very user-friendly. [As an aside, I was prescribed dextroamphetamine in a very low dosage to help improve my focus in Dec. 2013. Although it did not appear to cause any problematic side effects, I became concerned re:  even a low dosage amphetamine taken at the same time as alprazolam. After sharing my concern w/my doctor, also sharing that after 2 months, I didn't seem to be experiencing much if any improvement in my focus & concentration, he agreed & had me stop taking it.]
• Therapy:  A clinical therapist can be of great help, & if you are a member of CPS, you should be able to contact them, & they should be able to provide you w/a list of therapists in your area who will provide you w/a pre-determined # of free sessions, which allows you to decide if you want to continue in a long-term relationship with them. It's how I connected with my current therapist, who has proven very beneficial. 
• More "therapy":  Again, if you are a member of Concordia Health Plan (CPS), you also are entitled to help via Care Allies. Both CPS & Care Allies require you to establish an account & the links should steer you in the right direction. Care Allies will connect you w/an RN who will function somewhat like a "coach" for you, phoning you on a semi-regular basis to answer your questions, concerns, help you set reasonable goals, etc., re:  a variety of conditions. I have used their services for depression, anxiety, & diabetes-control. They can also send you free resources that are very user-friendly. If you pay any portion of your CPS premiums, you are paying for these services whether you use them or not.
• Exercise:  You can scarcely find a source re:  anxiety disorders and/or depression that does not prescribe exercise as a prescription for wellness. Anxiety can be very insidious. My anxiety "loop" worked like this. > I can't keep up with my responsibilities. > I have too much work to do, which makes me anxious. > Yes, I understand that exercise would be good for me & might help relieve some anxiety & stress. > Who am I kidding? I don't have time! Conclusion? Skip exercise. Work more. Result? More anxiety & stress, leads eventually to burnout. CAVEAT:  Exercise can become compulsive, but I don't want to digress into OCD--at least not yet.
• Chiropractic & physical therapy:  There is a link between muscle aches, other physical pain, depression, & anxiety. I've struggled w/back problems off & on for years; sometimes diagnosed via x-rays & mri's [so it's NOT all in my head, hah!]. Whether real or imagined, pain is pain, and chiropractic & physical therapy have helped me deal w/such pain from time to time. I know people who also have found help through massage therapy & acupuncture. [NO! Tattoos do not count!]
• A dog:  Three are those who will swear that a dog will help you deal w/anxiety & stress. It will provide you w/comfort & companionship, force you to spend time outside exercising [There is a link between letting yourself become a hermit & suffering increased anxiety & depression), should you choose to take your dog for regular walks, which I have done since we got Sammy last summer. CAVEAT:  If it seems like your time spent walking the dog is largely spent keeping a hand gripped tightly on his leash & harness, maintaining a constant look-out for other critters who might encroach upon his proximity, resulting in an encounter, it may actually ADD to your anxiety & stress. [For more insight, find my last New Dog Owner Odyssey blog entry, dated 9/13.] 
• Comfort foods:  I cannot & will not recommend this strategy, although I must say that it does produce a temporary placebo effect that leads to bad long-term effects.

FINALLY . . . 

Spending time in devotion, word & prayer cannot hurt [although again, speaking from personal experience, this can become obsessive]. It might actually be part of God's plan for your wellness! It is uncanny [which I've mentioned before in my Theological Thursday blog entries] how many times] I encounter a Bible verse or passage, meditation, devotion topic, hymn or song during my daily "quiet time" that just plain speaks directly to the circumstances of a current issue that I am struggling to overcome--that is feeding my unholy anxiety. Today it was a verse from one of the Psalms in "A Year Through the Old Testament," which I've been using as my main devotional resource since July 1, 2014. Here it is. Psalm 27:1:  "The Lord is my light & my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid?"