There Is No Place Like . . . Look for Your State [or Country]!

There Is No Place Like . . . "Whimsy"SPECIAL EDITION

CALIFORNIA?

Tagline from Drudge Report (5/11):  "STUDY: L.A. top city for road rage . . . " [Do I like "picking on CA? Have I held on to this item since May 11?]

From Omaha World Herald (5/22):  "More plumbing issues in Oakland. There were plumbing issues in the visitor's dugout at the Oakland Coliseum before the start of SAT's game against the NY Yankees. Several maintenance workers spent nearly an hour trying to fix a backed up toilet while a member of the Coliseum staff mopped up the standing water seeping into the dugout . . . " [At least it happened in the Yankees' dugout . . . Sorry, Steve Taege.]

Another tagline from Drudge (5/24): "Falling toilets snarl traffic on LA freeways . . . " [Anything I would have read following this tagline would only have been a letdown.]

CHINA?

Another tagline from Drudge (5/21):  "China denies shipping marinated human flesh in cans to be sold as food . . . " [Yes, I could have put this in my recurring Food for Thought Feature . . . but remember . . . It's my blog!]

FLORIDA?

Also from OWH (5/20):  Nile killer crocs found in Florida. Step aside, Burmese python--you may no longer be Florida's scariest invasive species. Researchers have confirmed that 3 Nile crocodiles were captured near Miami, & they say it's possible more of the man-eating reptiles are still out there, although no one can say for sure . . . "  [I'm counting the days till the next Sister Bash and/or Hill Family Reunion in FL.] *
* Although I've staked a legitimate claim to a familial connection to the Hill family [SEE a previous Hill Family Summer Reunion Exclusive Blog, ** if you can find it.], which ranks me slightly lower than a Sister or Brother but WAY higher than a camp follower, I doubt if I have a vote. **
** CAVEAT! This is not a link! Besides, if you are reading today's blog from a link off the Norfolk Daily News web page, it wouldn't do you any good even if it was a link, since apparently you can't get a link from their web page . . . or special fonts, colors, highlights, etc. ***
*** But I still love the NDN, read the hard copy every day, & highly, HIGHLY recommend both their hard copy & web site . . . Please don't take the link to my blog off your web site! ****
**** And I just remembered . . . I have a niece who lives in Miami . . . PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT FOR JOCELYN! Be careful where you go jogging!

GREAT BRITAIN?

From Norfolk Daily News (5/20):  Mortarboard throwing banned over risks. A British university has been accused of overreacting for banning graduating students from tossing mortarboards into the air on health & safety grounds . . . " [Just one reason among many why I like to think of the "mother country" as just . . . Britain . . . or maybe "Barely-Above-Average" Britain.]

INDIA?

Also from OWH (5/24):  "Insect waste threatens marble surfacea at Taj Mahal . . . "

• [And I just crossed a visit to the Taj Mahal off my bucket list . . . 
• Don't feel too sorry for me. It was down around #38.]

IOWA

Also from OWH (5/20):  "Sinkhole forces closure of street in Fort Dodge, IA. A sinkhole opened WED night in Ft. Dodge, forcing closure of a street that partly disappeared into the maw . . . It's unclear what caused the cave-in, which appears to be 20 ft. deep . . . Repairing the hole is likely to be more complex than filling it w/soil . . . " 

• [I've been "by" Fort Dodge," & I think a stop to see this sinkhole might be more appealing to me than a stop to see a historical marker.
• There's an excellent chance that you WON'T see "maw" showing up as a favorite word in my blogs anytime soon.
• Do I like picking on IA? Does our Fearless Leader like arms deals w/countries that have abysmal human rights' records? *]

* Sorry. That was political commentary, which I have pledged to TRY to limit to my frightful FRI blogs. I apologize IF I offended you.

Also from OWH (5/20):  "Firefighters rescue naked man from business's chimney . . . " [I actually read this article but didn't feel like re-publishing it here before I've had breakfast this morning.] **

** And in case you're curious, I have a coupon from Big Apple Bagels:  a 99 cent coffee w/any other purchase. It reminded me that I used to love their dark roast French Silk(?) coffee, so I think I'll check them out this morning to see if it's still available.

MASSACHUSETTS!

Also from NDN (4/15):  "Friendly calf. A calf that spent several days on the loose in (Dartmouth), MA, is now a companion for a blind cow that recently lost a pig playmate . . . " [Can you tell I'm doing some triage on my gargantuan pile of newspaper clippings this morning?]

NEW YORK?

Also from OWH (5/18):  "Plan would ban declawing of cats in NY. New York would be the first state to ban the declawing of cats under a legislative proposal that has divided veterinarians . . . " [If this was my frightful FRI blog, I would make a mean-spirited, snarky, politically incorrect but wholly {holy? *} justified comment in this space re:  the rights of cats vs. the rights of the unborn.]
* Yes, this seems like a gratuitously ** self-righteous comment, but, sigh, once again I must remind you that this is MY blog.
** Another favorite word I've been waiting to use.

SOUTH DAKOTA?

From Sioux City Journal (5/18):  "Mayor's proposal for Corn Palace murals geta lukewarm reception. A proposal by Mitchell Mayor Jerry Toomey to change the murals on the Corn Palace tourist attraction only every other year is receiving mixed reviews. The city pays about $157,000 each year to re-decorate the building's exterior . . . " [A spokesperson for P.E.T.D.C. * asserts that the money could be better spent on performing "claw transplants" on cats who are victims of cruel declawing procedures.]
* People for the Ethical Treatment of Declawed Cats 

NEBRASKA!

Also from NDN (5/18):  "Main Street Books. Chad & Bonnell Bochum recently opened Main Street Books in downtown Norfolk. The store offers a wide selection of books from a variety of genres, as well as books by international & local authors. [Relax . . . this doesn't include me . . . yet.]

• [I am an obsessive reader. But today's blog does NOT fall under the category of Mental Health MON . . . 
• . . . And I love bookstores, although I fear to visit any bookstore these days, because you should see the gargantuan * collection of books that I have acquired which have yet to be read . . . but that's another topic for a future Mental Health MON blog. **
• I wish these people the best & look forward to visiting Main Street Books . . . 
• . . . For which I have received no remuneration for this promotional consideration.]

* My word of the day. [I know what you're thinking . . . What happened to "plethora?"

** In case you're wondering, this week's Mental Health MON blog went on a hiatus. ***

*** Another favorite word

From Lincoln Journal Star (5/19):  "Costs to find NU chancellor released. Executive search firm paid $122,500 . . . " [Seriously . . . what?! I've made offers like this before in my selfless attempts to save taxpayers--& that would include me--money. I would GLADLY conduct what I'm sure would be an equally effective "executive" * search for a fraction of this cost. **]
* After all, I used to be an "executive" director.
** Another incentive for the State to consider my offer. Because I am currently on a medical disability & cannot accept any remuneration of any kind, my entire fee . . . oh, let's say 10% of what the State paid . . . would be donated to a charity. ***
*** How about, even more apropos **** in my case, the Nebraska Gamblers' Assistance Program, of which I am a commissioner?
**** Yes, I am multi-lingual.

Also from OWH (5/22):  "What You'll See in the Vast New Exhibit. The Henry Doorly Zoo's * African Grasslands brings together 22 species over 28 acres, stretching from the zoo's south end to its farthest east point. [Before I continue, it's only fair to tell you that I am hopelessly biased about this zoo . . . I have visited this zoo many, many times . . . I have taken my own children & grand-children to this zoo many, many times . . . & I've visited some of the zoos in your locales . . . Sorry, I pity your zoos.]

• "Meerkat [Remember "Meerkat Manor?" I LOVED that show.]
• "White-throated monitor lizard
• "Reticulated giraffe [Not just any giraffe. OUR zoo has "reticulated" giraffes.]
• "White rhinoceros [Seems racist.]
• "White stork [Ditto.]
• "Rock hyrax ["Hey, Hyrax! You rock!!]
• "Klipsringer [Not to be confused w/early GOP presidential candidate Elmer Klipspringer.]
• "Spur-winger goose
• "African elephant
• "Egyptian goose
• "Ostrich [What . . . We can't afford a reticulated ostrich?! Where's Warren Buffett when you need him? SEE comment below.]
• "Plains zebra
• "African pygmy goat  [Uh, I believe the PC-term is "African 'right-sized' goat.]
• "Impala
• "Helmeted guinea fowl [According to my sources, he needs to be helmeted because he has anger-management issues.]
• "Pink-backed pelican [Not associated w/any politically-charged movement. I'm just sayin'.]
• "Bongo [Also according to my sources, this animal has self-esteem issues because of its name. Reader suggestions are welcome.]
• "Cheetah
• "African spurred tortoise
• "African lion  
• "Sable antelope"

* Are you a zoo hater? All I can say is . . . I pity you.

Also from OWH (Sorry--I neglected to reference the date):  "Elephants named at last--one a nod to Warren Buffett . . . The zoo asked donors to name its elephants. They chose Warren, Lolly, Claire, Kiki, Omma & Jayei . . . " [African elephant: "I don't care if he's a billionaire. If it's all the same to you, I'd prefer a more regal sounding name, like 'The Trunk.'"]