If I Could Put Time in a Bottle...It Wouldn't Matter

EXCLUSIVE HILL FAMILY REUNION 2016 ENTRY!

• All previous disclaimers found in previous "Exclusive Hill Family Reunion 2016 entries shall here-in & here-in-thereafter remain in force. 
• Remember in an earlier entry where I said I might only be able to keep up these guidelines only as long as I could sustain my own interest? That struggle may have begun.
• Oh, yeah, I've had a plethora of requests * for me to explain the difference between a "caveat" & "corollary." **

* No, I haven't.
** There is no difference.

Yet Another Set of Guidelines from the Seemingly Inexhaustible and/or Plethora of Guidelines for the Hill Family 2016 Reunion

7. This is a crucial guideline for those who, shall we say, may be a little OCD about time, deadlines, etc . . . Time constraints mean little or nothing to this group. Example:  Just because there seems to be a consensus the night before that we will leave for [fill in the blank] at 10:00a, the next morning . . . this is no guarantee that we will leave anywhere in the vicinity of that time constraint. [SEE GUIDELINE 1. SUN 4/7, re:  the final arbiters of any time constraints, real or imaginary. CAVEAT 7.A. It is considered bad form to start rolling one's eyes, pacing, or making comments just loud enough for the group to "hear" but not quite loud enough to be completely intelligible. COROLLARY to CAVEAT 7.A. Getting a late start because certain teenage "women" {You know who you are.} stayed up too late the night before and/or didn't get up early enough and/or didn't allow enough time to get all "gussied up" . . . Do you think the Sisters will "have your back" just because they share the same gender as you? Think again. SUB-COROLLARY to CAVEAT 7.A. If the Sisters are responsible, either individually or collectively, for a late start or last minutes change of plans . . . the assigning of blame may be a moot point.]
8. Shopping happens. Repeat . . . shopping happens. [CAVEAT 8.A. Although male members of the entourage and/or other "non-shoppers" should NOT feel obligated to accompany shoppers on any shopping expeditions, trying to hide or making flimsy excuses to avoid accompanying one's spouse and/or significant other on a shopping expedition can result in serious fall-out. COROLLARY TO CAVEAT 8.A. Having said that, I must insist that the Sisters and/or any other culpable parties do NOT resort to sneaky, under-handed or otherwise unfair strategies and/or subterfuges in order to "trick" gullible "non-shoppers" into what they thought might be excursions to a sports bar but what turn out to be shopping expeditions. CAVEAT 8.B. Although I seem to recall that in a previous entry I strong discouraged--&, for the record, still do--a trip to M.O.A.--one advantage, male attendees, is that there are ample opportunities to "bro-browse" [If that's a new word, I claim full credit for its invention!] while the "Reunion Babes"--& that is a term I affix with all due respect--browse & shop to their hearts' content.]
9. Everyone pitches in when it comes to cleaning up, washing dishes up, picking up after themselves, & doing laundry. [CAVEAT 9.A. That means, just to be clear, that if you get caught doing a load of your own laundry, & other dirty laundry could have been included, & it wasn't even close to a full load . . . let's just say that all bets are off re:  Gossip. SEE GUIDELINE 2. SUN 4/17 & GUIDELINE 6. SUN 4/24, + all relevant caveats & corollaries. COROLLARY to CAVEAT 9.A. Although they are usually good sports about helping & will pitch-in whenever & wherever needed, it is considered bad form to "badger" the Sisters to participate in anything so mundane as the aforementioned, menial tasks. Above all, they must NOT be taken for granted! SEE ALL previous, pertinent Guidelines, Caveats, & Corollaries.]

NEW OPTION REVEALED!

Thanks to the never-ceasing efforts of my F.R.S.A. *, another possible excursion option has been uncovered for our enervating time in the sub-arctic . . . & that would be . . . 
* Family Reunion Surveillance Associates

Sven & Nordgar's Bait & Tackle Shop and Luxury Wedding Emporium

• NEW OPTION CAVEAT #1:  No, I am not privy to any so-called "inside information;" nor am I seeking to influence anybody's plans, whether blood-relative or not; & furthermore . . . 
• NEW OPTION CAVEAT #2:  "We" are sadly lacking in some details but are working 24/7 to "connect the dots." Here is what we know:

1. Sven & Nordgar's is located on a lake within "relatively" easy driving distance of the Twin Cities. [For whatever reason, it doesn't register on Mapquest.]
2. Sven's great-grandmother is a licensed clergy person of the Reformed Scandinavian Lutheran Synod of the Old Minnesota Pre-Statehood Territory. [RSLSOMPST for short]
3. There are many "wedding packages," including one that supposedly takes place on a pontoon boat that can accommodate up to 48 passengers . .  . although some apparently may have to be situated in canoes and/or kayaks tethered to the boat.
4. A catered meal is possible . . . & lutefisk is a specialty of Nordgar's great-grandfather--a legendary, gourmet chef of the Far North.
5. Some of the wedding packages include dozens of minnows and/or leeches and/or night crawlers . . . in Sven & Nordgar's  patented, styrofoam, patented, bait storage systems . . . at no extra cost!
6. Fishing is allowed after the ceremony with fishing tackle supplied . . . at no extra cost . . . & fishing tips provided . . . at no extra cost . . . by legendary fishing guides Sven & Nordgar themselves!

Worry not! As more details become available, more details shall be shared!

A Familial Connection Discovered!

I'm pretty confident that I have discerned  a family connection to the Hill's that up till now has remained relatively obscure. [Are you sitting down?] I am 99% certain that I qualify as a "blood relative" [as opposed to a mere "camp follower"], for reasons I will now reveal. Whether this elevates my status remains to be seen.

• Carmen Hill is my 1st cousin by virtue of her father Harold Handel being my mother Janet (Handel) Leckband's brother.
• Carmen, as we all know, is married to David Hill, brother of Lois, one of the Sisters.
• Kyle, Kory, & Katie are spawn of David & Carmen.
• Because I am Carmen's 1st cousin, this makes their children not only my niece & nephews but also my 2nd cousins.
• Not only that, but it also makes Kyle Hill & Tasha's children either my 3rd cousins or 2nd cousins, once removed! [I can never keep that straight!]

Therefore it stands [or reclines or sits . . . whatever] to reason . . . 

I am both a "camp follower" AND "blood relative!"

What do you think about that?!