Whimsy
From Norfolk Daily
News (5/10): “Wade offers an
apology. Heat guard sorry for anthem gaffe. Dwyane Wade was the first Miami
Heat player to line up for the playing of ‘O Canada’ on MON night. Lesson
learned. The Heat guard apologized MON to anyone
who was offended [Emphasis
added: Alert readers will recognized this as a “qualified” apology, i.e., when
you add a phrase like “apologize to ANYONE WHO WAS OFFENDED, in effect you are
saying, “I’m not really sorry; if you were offended, it’s your problem.”] by
his actions before SAT’s Toronto-Miami matchup, when he took a few extra
warm-up shots at the beginning of the singing of ‘O Canada.’ Video showed Wade
continued his pregame routine for about 20 seconds before he took his spot in
line w/the rest of his teammates . . . “ [I’ve temporarily suspended any teasing of Canada because
of the disastrous fire in Alberta. Here’s a list of alternate foreign
countries that I think would be a better choice for pro athletes to insult by
ignoring their national anthems, either partially or entirely: {1} Any socialist Scandinavian country;
{2} France; {3} Mongolia; {4} North Korea; {5} Antarctica.]
From Lutheran Witness
(Oct. 2015): “Q/Is it true that Luther’s hymn tunes
were bar tunes, sung in local taverns? A/This
common misconception is simply a case of misunderstanding. Many of his tunes
are written in what is known as Bar Form. In ‘A Mighty Fortress’ (LSB 656) the melody of the first two
phrases is the same, while the 3rd phrase is different. This pattern
is Bar Form & should not be confused w/a place to get a frosty adult
beverage . . . “
[This has effectively taken all of the fun out of singing the “Battle Hymn of
the Reformation” in taverns in the future.] *
*Especially in places like Humphrey . . . or David
City. **
**I’m sorry IF I offended you.
Also from NDN (5/5):
“Wee-lief! Dogs getting bathrooms at airports. Federal regulations
require pet relief areas in terminals . . . “ [How can you refuse to read the rest of this article? I
refused. Also, is this not an argument for limited government?]
Mental Health MON . . . Special WED
Edition
Now that the Daily News
is posting a link to my blog on its web site . . . I am experiencing more
anxiety at the need to meet a self-imposed deadline for staying as current as
possible . . . It’s Wednesday for cryin’ out loud!
Reasons to be Depressed and/or Anxious . .
. or Not
Taglines from Drudge
Report [Couldn’t
bring myself to read the articles]: *
(4/13) “Computer making
you blind? . . . “
(4/14) “Antibiotic
resistance could become greater threat than cancer . . . “
(4/16) “Artificial
Intelligence could destroy humans ‘WITHIN DECADES’ . . . “
*You guessed it . . . filled me w/too much anxiety.
Food for Thought
From Omaha World
Herald (4/3): “Bucket lists for dying pooches include
fries at McDonald’s” . . . [You’ll notice this entry is somewhat dated . . .
Couldn’t bring myself to read the article . . . couldn’t think of a witty * rejoinder ** . . . Couldn’t bear to
throw the clipping away.]
*Reminder:
It’s my blog, so if I think it’s witty . . . ]
*Like, “I could think of worse things to but on your
pooch’s bucket list.
Also from OWH (5/9):
“KFC launches ‘finger lickin’ good’ nail polish in Hong Kong . . . “ [First of all,
I’m tired of our media flaunting the Chinese food industry’s light-year’s
progress ahead of our own. Secondly, couldn’t this lead to some serious
addiction? FUTURE HEADLINE: “Hong
Kong millennials buying, drinking KFC nail polish by the liter.”]
Wide Wonderful World of Wacky Celebrities
Also from OWH (3/30): “In
the world of celebrities, shaggy beards send a message. In his retirement,
David Letterman has grown a beard & the beard has grown a following. He had
a beard once during his ‘Late Show’ tenure, when there was a writers’ strike,
but never to this wizard-like degree. This is a beard that would not have
passed CBS censors. This beard is a beard that could house sparrows . . .
“ [Apparently my beard passed NDN censors . .
. I’m anxious to see if my beard grows a following.] *
* For the record, I doubt if my beard could house
sparrows . . . ants, maybe.]
Also from OWH (5/11):
“Trainor pulls video after she says her waist was altered . . . “ [DISCLAIMER #1: I
am not familiar w/Meghan Trainor . . . DISCLAIMER #2: I did not read the rest of the very short article which
followed . . . WAIVER #1: I hereby
waive any legal rights—which I cheerfully acknowledge doubtfully exist--&
grant full rights to the Norfolk Daily News & any parent companies &
conglomerates to alter any of my pictorial representations to alter my waist in
order to make it look smaller. Please leave my beard alone. Thank you.]
Criminal Minds
Also from NDN (5/10):
“Hanging out. Cruise ship
passengers have been hanging out at an Alaska homeless shelter to get free
coffee & a bite to eat, but few have bothered making a donation, said one
of the nonprofit’s board members . . . [First, if you can afford a cruise, you can afford a
donation . . . Second, you’re a cruise passenger & you’re hanging out at a
homeless shelter? How tacky is that! . . . Third, if I had my hands on a list
of names, I would NOT refrain from
publishing it, in order to protect the GUILTY.]
*
·
Yes, this does strike me as rather
self-righteous, but it’s my blog.
There Is No Place Like . . . Nebraska!
From OWH Go Magazine (4/21):
“Duct tape artwork on display at Homestead Monument. Homestead National
Monument of America will host an exhibition made of an unconventional
medium: duct tape . . . at the
Homestead Education Center . . . through May 28, as part of Homestead’s
National Park Service Centennial celebration. Homestead is 4 miles east of
Beatrice.” [Better hurry while there’s still time . . .
I’ve personally visited this historic site several times, although it’s been a
few years; it’s definitely a place to see for history buffs . . . My sister
& brother-in-law live in Beatrice & I’m pretty sure they will turn
their historic house into a B & B for the plethora of visitors who will
undoubtedly flock to their rustic city for this occasion . . . but until I
check w/them, it’s probably better that I don’t give out any contact
information.]
Also from NDN (5/7):
“Norfolk doctor treats veins, ulcers in Honduras . Very appreciative.
That’s how Dr. Thomas Fennessy described the Hondurans who received medical
assistance through a vein clinic . . . “ [For the record, I did read this article but didn’t
include the rest of the story, since today’s post has already turned into a
beast . . . another peril for someone w/OCD . . . I just wanted to contract
this man’s self-less accomplishment w/another man’s accomplishment.]*
* Did I hear someone say, “Shallow?” Wait . . . that
might have been me.”
Also from NDN (5/6):
“Blogging serves as self-therapy for Norfolk man . . . “ [SEE previous
entry & comment]
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