frightful Friday
G.O.M.E.R. *
* Grumpy Old Men & Their Elucidating Rants **Rant #1: I really hate to demonize smokers [No, I really do . . . but then I suppose I wouldn't be including this rant, right?], since my dad started smoking--I think he told me once--before he turned 12, when he & his cousins would sneak a smoke behind the barn. He smoked into his 50s, maybe early 60s; but I digress . . . Not uncommon to see smokers outside of office bldgs, malls, fast food emporiums . . . I get it. Nicotine is highly, highly addictive . . . And I also buy into the dangers of 2nd-hand smoke . . . What's my peeve? All the cigarette butts they leave behind . . . What's with that? So excuse me if you don't get my sympathy when I see you standing outside, risking hypothermia or worse, in order to satisfy your addiction.
Rant #1a: While I'm "on one" about smokers . . . is there something about fast food emporiums that:
- Attracts smokers to work there?
- Turns people into smokers because of the incredibly stressful work environment? [Inquiring minds want to know.]
Whatever . . . I have to say that I find it aesthetically unappealing to see fast-food workers hanging outside of their emporiums, smoking away . . . I especially find it unappealing when I am working my way through the drive-thru lane, inhaling their 2nd-hand smoke . . . and that's the end of Rants #1 & #1a.
Rant #2: People who don't understand the concept of making left-hand turns . . . Here's my helpful left-hand turn tip of the day:
- If you are in a left-hand turn lane; and
- If you are at the head of the line; and
- If there is a line of cars behind you; and
- If there is no left turn sign; please, please, please . . .
- Edge into the intersection--making sure, of course--that you don't obstruct traffic--so that . . .
- As the light turns yellow, hopefully you can turn left in time to allow at least one of the cars behind you to also turn left--making sure, of course--that neither of you hits an oncoming car rushing to run the yellow-turning-red light . . . and that's the end of Rant #2.
- You don't have to use your turn signal; in fact, using your turn signal could confuse other drivers.
- When you have an opening to enter the round-about . . . TAKE IT!
- Do NOT stop once you are in the round-about, even if you are being a Good Samaritan to let somebody into the round-about . . . even if the person waiting to get into there round-about looks very needy . . . This is dangerous!
- I repeat . . . This is dangerous on multiple levels . . . If the person waiting to enter the round-about is conversant in the rules of round-abouting, he/she will be confused . . . maybe hesitate . . . run into you . . . or start into the round-about, then slam on the brakes, causing the car behind him/her to slam into his/her vehicle's rear end . . .
- A person following you in the round-about--also highly conversant in the rules of round-abouting--could be completely taken aback by your sudden act of charity & slam into your vehicle's rear end . . .
- Just to name a few, really, really, really bad consequences.
Political Potpourri *
* WARNING! The following material may not be succinct, but it is tedious.Re: "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" [For those of you who may be checking out my blog for the first time, this is the label I've given to D----- T----. Given what has transpired over the past week, I may be forced to assign him a new moniker. Suggestions?]
AN ENTERTAINING, MULTIPLE CHOICE GAME
"Last night (4/16) the New York Post endorsed HWSNBN. After I criticized the editorial on Twitter, a HWSNBN supporter tweeted at me 'No, (name), you are wrong. Support the front runner & stop t trying to burn the party.' This lover of civility & champion of party unity goes by the Twitter handle 'Trump or Riot.' In all of bilious . . . I've heard the last few months, nothing so economically encapsulates HWSNBNsters more than calls for unity from a maroon who self-identifies as someone who thinks rioting is the only righteous alternative to his dashboard saint's victory . . . I knew that some, many, or even most HWSNBN supporters are sincere in their admiration for the man. I simply think they are wrong . . . By the way, I am constantly amazed at how many really get angry at someone who says HWSNBN's voters are wrong. Yeah, I get it. They're angry. Blah, blah, blah. But let me ask you something: How many times have you been justifiably angry in your own life yet still let your anger lead you to a bad decision?"
And the person who said/wrote this was:
A. Stephen Colbert
B. Commentator on CNN
C. Commentator on MSNBC
D. Larry King
E. Caitlyn Jenner
F. Jonah Goldberg
Does it seem like I'm beating up on HWSNBN today? Well . . . maybe. Check out this link to my favorite partisan pundit.
Re: "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" & "She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named"
And here's yet another link to my favorite partisan pundit, because I'm thinking maybe it's time to focus my incredibly incisive political punditry a little more on SWNBN. *
From Omaha World Herald (5/5): "Judge may order SWSNBN to testify over emails. A federal judge said Wednesday that he may order Democratic presidential front-runner SWSNBN to testify under oath about whether she used a private email server as secretary of state to evade public records disclosures . . . " [Wait . . . What's that I see up in the sky? A pig flying? No, just the planet mercury aligning with sun or moon or whatever.]
Also from OWH, column by Eugene Robinson (5/2): "SWSNBN-"She-Whose-Ethnicity-Is-Questionable" ** might be the ticket . . . SWSNBN is a foreign policy traditionalist. As secretary of state, she was more hawkish than our "Fearless Leader"--she pushed for more vigorous intervention in Syria for example. [What? No mention of her awesome strategy re: Benghazi?] She has long since apologized for her vote to authorize the Iraq War, but "He-Who-Is-Still-Irrelevant" *** continues to attack her for it. HWSNBN would surely do the same.
"SWEIQ wasn't in Congress when the Iraq War began, & national security isn't the issue with which she is identified. But her views fit squarely w/those of the party's progressive wing. SWEIQ also has a compelling personal story [Does compelling = "truthy" re: her Native American heritage?] of having risen from modest beginnings to become a Harvard professor & then a U.S. senator. The fact that she & SWSNBN would be the first all-female major party ticket should be irrelevant, but isn't. To many voters, it would be thrilling. [In the same way, no doubt, that it was thrilling for so many "low-information" voters to vote for "hope & change" & "more of the same" in the last two presidential elections."
"I can think of several other potential running mates for SWSNBN. I draw a blank when trying to come up w/a suitable partner for HWSNBN . . . " [If you're expecting a plethora of witty rejoinders here . . . I'm starting to get fatigued & need to bring closure to this beast of a blog entry this morning.]
* For those who may be reading my blog for the first time, that would be H------ C------.
** E-------- W-----. Half the fun for me is coming up with lame nicknames.
*** B----- S------.
More Re: "He-Who-Is-Still-Irrelevant"
Also from OWH (4/16): "HWISI takes his message to Vatican. Aides said the candidate wasn't trying to appeal to Catholics ahead of the New York primary . . . " [Just like I'm including this excerpt without trying to appeal to my alleged, political partisanship.]
From Argus Leader, column by Ann McFeatters (4/22): "B-----: We've loved your time on stage, but it's time to go. Dear HWISI, How can we miss you if you won't go away? Who knew that in the age of Karsdashianism, a white-haired curmudgeon would charm us to the point where 28,000 people would turn out to hear you in Brooklyn without any sports team in the vicinity? Who knew that college campuses would go nuts over a guy in bad suits w/arms akimbo raging about 1-percenters? Who knew that you would provoke some honest moments (well, a few) of human emotion in SWSNBN?
"After your loss in the NY primary, you & your campaign gurus swore that you'd press on to the Democratic convention in Philadelphia. But, at this point, isn't it all about ego, not message? B-----, we have loved your time on stage. We salute your energy & enthusiasm & dedication. But it's time to go . . .
"There is little to be gained by HWISI's ongoing quest to be president. His campaign speeches now all sound alike. B-----, thank you, but goodbye." [I heartily disagree. Remember George McGovern?]
Also from OWH, column by Leonard Pitts, Jr. (5/3): "Some in HWISI Nation can't bring themselves to back SWSNBN . . . How ironic that the HWISI campaign, conducted mostly on the high ground of ideas & ideals, descends into cries of boycott & even revolution as it nears its end. Granted, nobody likes to lose. But the loss was fair & square [Exactly . . . Wait . . . What?], & those citizens of HWISI Nation who can't deal w/that, who want to opt out of the system or take up arms against it, should be shamed of themselves. One feels sorry for them. The nomination is the least of what they've lost." [I don't get that last comment. Somebody elucidate me, please.]
Re: "He-Who-Never-Received-An-Official-Nickname-From-Me"
Here is a link to a column I found on THU 5/5 via National Review Online Via Jonah Goldberg via the Drudge Report. The column, entitled "The Weaknesses That T-- C---," was posted on 5/4. I found it illustrative. [DISCLAIMER: (1) I never, ever, never endorsed this person for the Republican nomination. (2) Theoretically, if I WAS counting on this person to secure the nomination, it is possible, just possible, that I am a little disenchanted at the weaknesses that caused his campaign to ultimately fall apart.]
Whimsical WED . . . Special FRI Whimsy
From Parade Magazine (4/24): "39--The # of states that it's possible to lose--& still win the election. Even if a candidate doesn't get a single vote in 39 states (or D.C.), they're the next president as long as they win the popular vote in these 11 states: California, New York, Texas, Florida, Pennsylvania, Illinois, Ohio, Michigan, New Jersey, North Carolina, & Georgia. [DISCLAIMER: (1) This could also qualify for "Political Potpourri. (2) Sadly, there is no place FOR Nebraska . . . ]From OWH, Breaking Brad (5/4): "A suggestion for lead-in music at the GOP & Democratic national conventions: the theme from 'Jaws.'" [DISCLAIMER: This could also qualify for "Political Potpourri" and/or "Shameless Quip Stealing."]
Taglines from Drudge Report: [DISCLAIMER: I didn't bother to read the articles.]
- (4/29) "Paul Simon Drops F Bombs in New Single . . . " [DISCLAIMER: (1) This could also qualify for The Wide World of Wacky Celebrities. (2) Paul Simon is still recording? (3) I always though P.S. was a little too sanctimonious. I'll have to re-evaluate my opinion now.]
- (5/6) "Man seeks restraining order against God . . . " [Seriously, this man should hope that the next Drudge Report doesn't include this tagline: "God seeks restraining order against man."]
- (5/6) "300 hours training required to shampoo hair in Tennessee . . . " [I'm going to assume this training is for professional hair stylists. I got a haircut earlier this week. Instead of my usual "take an inch off all the way around, I asked her to take 1 1/2 inches off. She told me that my hair was 2" long & was I sure I wanted to take that much off? I replied, "Why not?" After seeing the result, I could think of a few reasons why not. Suffice it to say that 300 hours of training to wash my hair would be 299.5 hours of wasted training.]
- (5/6) "Obama aide: We control media . . . " [Rest assured . . . Nobody, NOBODY, but me controls this particular media . . . As far as you & I know.]
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