frightful FRI the 13th!

G.O.M.E.R. Returns * . . . Bad News for Fries Aficionados . . . Political Posts Found No Where Else!

* Grumpy Old Men & Their Elucidating Rants

I really shouldn't include this item, because I'm ranting on myself . . . The bag of Seattle's Best Dark #5 was in my hand when I spotted the bag of "Select Sumatra Blend" for just $1 more. It was a store brand. Out of loyalty to this store, I will forego further identification. Because my daughter has a Keurig * & purchases a Sumatran Exquisite Extravagant Celestial Dark ** product just for me, I put back the proven winner & bought the usurper. This morning we tried the usurper. I'm not saying it was bad . . . It wasn't . . . It just wasn't as good as Seattle's Best Dark #5 . . . and now we have a whole bag of it . . . So it's either that or my wife's fu fu coffee.
* I receive no remuneration for this blatant product placement.
** Disclaimer:  This may not be the exact name. My short-term memory is not at it's best before I'd had my 3rd cup of coffee in the morning.

From Omaha World Herald (Date?? My bad!): "Flesh eating on 'Walking Dead' is the new family fare. Michelle Fiala says her 14-yr-old daughter, Laura, is fine watching humans run for their lives from snarling, flesh-eating zombies on AMC's 'The Walking Dead.' But if one of the characters vomits, the teen has to look away . . . " [MY parents wouldn't let us stay up to watch Johnny Carson, because sometimes his humor got too "racy."]

Tagline from Drudge Report (5/13):  "Grown-up 'THE MUPPETS' cancelled by ABC . . . " ["Grown-up" & "Muppets" appearing in the same phrase? Never even the slightest temptation to watch it.]

Also from OWH (4/24):  "A Few of the Best Lineups in TV History . . . CBS SATURDAYS, 1973-'74:  All in the Family, M*A*S*H, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, The Bob Newhart Show, The Carol Burnett Show."  [Here comes my rant . . . Whatever happened to truly funny comedies like these? OK, so sometimes the content on some of these shows--M*A*S*H* in particular--may have been a little "racy," but at least it was clever. It seems to me that in today's comedies the writers go for humor that appears to the lowest common denominator. *]
* I'm not even sure I know what the LCD is, given that I'm an English major. **
** For sure I don't even care.

Food for Thought

From Norfolk Daily News (4/22):  "All-you-can-eat fries report only store promotion. McDonald's Corp. is quashing reports that a coming Missouri restaurant will test all-you-can-eat fries, saying the endless spuds will be available for a limited time only to promote the site's scheduled July grand opening. The buzz is around a reported 'test' of unlimited fries for customers at the pending location in St. Joseph, north of Kansas City. But McDonald's spokeswoman Lisa McComb said no such test was in the works . . . " [Disturbing for several reasons:  {1} "All-You-Can-Eat-Fries" is apparently a myth. {2} Let's be honest . . . McDonald's fries are not what they used to be, are they?! {3} St. Joseph, MO, is on our route to Concordia, MO, which we will be visiting this summer for my high school Class of 1971 reunion *. {4} I think the timing will be off. {5} The brief article does not mention the specific location in St. Joseph. {6} "Only store promotion" . . . "No such test" . . . Wait . . . what?!]
* Did I just hear some snickers? Shut up! 
** Which reminds me . . . Time to get some breakfast. ***
*** Instant, cinnamon-flavored oatmeal, topped w/blueberries & strawberries, as if it's any of your business anyway. ****
**** Can you tell that I'm feeling a little touchy this morning?

Political Potpourri

I could have done some ranting about this, too, since the Nebraska primary was on TUE 5/10, & many of us [Well, many of us "sane, rational voters"] were looking forward to voting in a primary that actually meant something on the national level. Then, "He-Who-Never-Received-an-Official-Nickname-From-Me-but-Bears-a-Striking-Resemblance-to-a-Lutheran-High-Northeast-Social-Studies-Teacher" * dropped out of the Republican race, paving the way for "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" to ease his way to a non-competitive victory . . . 
*For the record, I talked to the aforementioned LHNE teacher at a grad reception last weekend & mentioned this to him/her. He/she seemed to take it in good humor?!

. . . but I digress.

A Careful Analysis of Voting in Madison County, Nebraska, Thoughtfully Provided by the NDN (5/11), accompanied by my insightful, political commentary, follows: *

Republican Results:
Trump  2,2280 votes
Cruz  760 
Kasich  347
Carson  217
Rubio  163
Write-in  43

Democratic Results:
Sanders  397
Clinton  323
Write-in  26

Paul's S.E.I.P.C. **

• Trump received 60% of the votes, while others, including "Write-In," [an option I failed to consider] received 40%.
• Consider this . . . four candidates who had already completely withdrawn from the race received 39% of the votes. Hmmm.
• Sanders out-polled Clinton, 53% to 43%.
• There are 395 Socialists in Madison County?!
• Correction:  There are 720 Socialists in Madison County?!

* To make it easy on my readers, I'm making an exception . . . possibly just this once . . . & eliminating acronyms for the sake of brevity & clarity.
** "Self-Effacing Insightful Political Commentary ***
*** Yes . . . yet another acronym . . . and remember . . . It's my blog!

Back to . . . More Political Potpourri *

A plethora of taglines from Drudge (5/11):  

• "BIDEN: 'I Would Have been Best President' . . . " [Maybe, maybe not . . . For sure our Fearless Leader's best insurance against impeachment.]
• "Divine Intervention? Hindu asks gods to help Trump . . . " [I don't think you'll ever convince me that our Fearless Leader is a Muslim either.]
• "Fat Activist Lectures University on 'Thin Privilege,' 'Fat Oppression' . . . " [Any comment I make here would be politically incorrect.]

And continuing on (5/13):  

• "Mexico warns of repercussions if remittances from USA are blocked . . . " [Not sure this will deter Trump voters. My guess? We'll see his polling numbers increase again.]
• "JUDGE: OBAMACARE FUNDING 'UNCONSTITUTIONAL' . . . " [Dept. of Future Headlines:  "President issues executive order:  eliminates all judges."]
• "Raining germs . . . Climate scientists spray bacteria on clouds . . . " [Is it possible that this bacteria is responsible for weakening rational thinking?]
• "Satanist state Senate Candidate . . . " [For everyone's peace of mind, I had to check out which state this was referring to . . . There is no place like . . . California!]
• "People crossing Canadian border on snowmobiles, ATVs . . . " [And here I was, cutting our friends to the North some slack because of the huge range fire that was sending clouds of lung-ravaging smoke our way last weekend.]

* I continue to try to limit my political posts to my "frightful FRI" blog entries.