- Re: Wildlife . . . Our first significant sighting of elk was at Ft. Yellowstone, next to Mammoth Hot Springs. As we headed to the trail to the geothermal features, we encountered a group of female & other young elk, reposing on the lawn of a private residence. Many tourists, such as ourselves, walked within feet of them. Many, like us, were stopping to take pictures. As we continued on, we had a brief, philosophical conversation re: the true meaning of "wild" life. Since there were no barriers, which would have prevented these so-called "benign" creatures from attacking & mauling us without provocation, my opinion is that they qualified. [Lois did point out that they had no antlers.]
- I felt somewhat proud to have sighted the moose at a scenic turnout in Grand Tetons National Park. We stopped at this location specifically because it was identified as a place where moose might be seen, and Lois & I had never seen a moose in the wild. As we strained our eyes toward the distant wetlands, I saw the shape of something that could best be described as "moose-like." I speculated out loud, "I wonder if that might be a moose?" A lady next to me put her binoculars on it & exclaimed, "Hey, this guy just found a moose!" Suddenly I was a "media-darling," surrounded by a crowd of tourists w/binoculars & cameras w/telephoto lenses. I truly felt heroic, & this lady rewarded me by letting me borrow her binoculars. Sure enough, despite my feeble eyesight, I could clearly make out the contours of a wild moose.
CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR
Excerpts from Norfolk Daily News (some are a little dated):
(4/10) "Driving away drunk. Authorities said a 44-yr-old suburban Buffalo, NY, man was drunk when he drove away from a courthouse where he had just been convicted of driving while intoxicated. The Erie County Sheriff's Office said 44-yr-old J.B. Silverthorn was drunk during a court appearance & told not to attempt to drive home. Officers said Silverthorn then got into his car & pulled out of the parking lot before he was stopped by deputies." [If the name is printed in the paper, I do not omit it in an attempt to protect the guilty.]
(4/13) "Woman allegedly dangled son, who fell, over cheetahs at zoo. The Cleveland zoo says it will press child-endangerment charges against a woman who allegedly dangled her 2-yr-old son over a railing before he fell about 10' into a cheetah exhibit. The toddler's parents jumped in & pulled him to safety Saturday, & he was treated at a hospital for bruises . . . The cheetahs didn't move, said Chris Kuhar, executive director of Cleveland Metroparks Zoo." [Other zoo visitors moved quickly, however, & the mother had to be rescued by zookeepers as she was dangled over the alligator pit.]
(7/7) "A man is in hot water after allegedly stealing a bicycle, pitching it through a Berlin restaurant window, then entering & quaffing half a bottle of Tabasco sauce--telling authorities he was thirsty." [Those crazy Germans.]
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Excerpts from the Norfolk Daily News:
(7/14) "Quite the appetite. (A) hungry Labrador has some unusual taste buds. A Mars, PA, veterinarian retrieved 62 hair bands, 8 pairs of underwear & a bandage from the dog's stomach during the exploratory surgery . . . Last week's surgery lasted two hours, & the vet & his technician were shocked at the items that were pulled out. The dog's owner . . . said Tiki once swallowed a plastic foam dart, but that passed through the dog's system naturally." [The dog's owner was also quoted as saying, "I'm done with all these crazy low-carb diets for dogs."]
From the Omaha World Herald (somewhat dated):
(6/26) "Iowa State Fair announces new food choices. The Iowa State Fair has announced new food items for this summer's contest. Fairgoers can vote on 3 finalists in the New Food Contest: >> Corn in a Cup: sweet corn cut off the cob & then mixed with pork chorizo, butter, chayote cheese, lime juice, sour cream, mayo, & 'Magic Dust.' >> Toasted Coconut Caramel Cluster: a combination of toasted coconut, caramel fudge & pretzel bits that's frozen on a stick & dipped in chocolate. >> Ultimate Bacon Explosion: brisket infused with a light jalapeno cheese, blended w/seasonings & then wrapped in bacon, smoked & then sauced in a sweet chili bbq sauce. [Why the Iowa State Fair continues to be on my bucket list.]
From USA Today:
(7/8) "Taco Bell puts delivery on menus." [Take that, Jimmy John's!]
SOMEWHAT CRINGE-WORTHY
(From the Norfolk Daily News, 3/17): "Dear Dr. Roach: This may seem like a trivial concern in comparison to some of the matters you address in your column, but it is a concern of mine. My spouse passes gas throughout the night. He claims that he is asleep & unaware of any problems. I say that this is a voluntary activity & that he should be able to control it. Who is right?" D.B. Answer from Dr. Roach: He is. Passing gas while asleep is entirely involuntary. You probably are doing so also while asleep . . . " [(1) Lois swears that she did not send in this letter but refuses to take a lie-detector test. (2) INVOLUNTARY!]
(From the Omaha World Herald, 7/4): "Ice melt reveals more than dirt . . . What emerges is not always apparent--or even pleasant. That pungent smell? It's a massive deposit of caribou dung in the Yukon that had been frozen for thousands of years, & now is decomposing in the air, its sharp odor unlocked." [In a related story, President Obama is convening a panel of the world's leading climate-change scientists to formulate policies to address this newest threat to global warming.]
(Also from the OWH, 7/15): "Boston's 75-ft tower of filthy snow finally melts. The last of Boston's winter nightmare has finally melted. Mayor Martin Walsh announced TUE that Boston's once massive pile of filthy snow had officially dwindled to nothing. The pile accumulated into a 75-ft tower of snow after a record-braking winter that dumped more than 11" on the city. The mound made Bostonians shiver into the summer, but not because of the temperature; it was laden with more than 80 tons of garbage, transforming it into a repulsive trash heap as the snow melted." [Hillary Clinton blamed Fox News. Donald Trump blamed Mexicans. Al Sharpton blamed slave-owning Founding Fathers who are buried in Boston. Al Gore blamed global climate change. Greece blamed the EU.]
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