HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY TROPHY WIFE

It's our 47th anniversary today. That's right! 47 years of wedded bliss! God has certainly blessed me with a godly wife, who is also a godly mother & grand-mother. Thank you, God. And thank you, Lois, for standing by me all these years.

ANNIVERSARY PRAYER

"Heavenly Father, on our wedding anniversary I come to the throne of grace with a prayer of thanksgiving. I a grateful to You for my spouse I bless You that by Your direction the pathways of our lives met & our hearts were united in true love.

"I thank You, dear Lord, that our love for reach other has been preserved & strengthened through the years. In Your divine wisdom, good days & bad, health & sickness, & all other experiences have bound our hearts & lives closer to each & to You, our God & Lord.

"I confess that I have not always been as kind & thoughtful as I should have been. I regret that I have sometimes been selfish & indifferent. Help me to make amends. Teach me to be quick to forgive & to forget any fault of my spouse, even as You no longer remember my sins for Jesus' sake.

"If it be Your will, grant us additional years of wedded happiness; cause the love that unites us to become stronger each day. When our life is over, take my loved one & me to the heavenly home that You have prepared for those who love You. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen." My Prayer Book

TODDLERS

"Toddler rates Disney World a close 2nd to trip through car wash." Babylon Bee

HIP UPATE

For those of you who take endless delight in my personal life, I'm scheduled for a right hip replacement on 7/14. [I had my left hip done in 2016.] I passed my pulmonology & cardiology screenings. I will still need a pre-op check-up with my GP & attendance at a joint replacement class, approximately 1 week ahead of my surgery. I started doing my pre-op exercises on SUN.

COFFEE UPDATE

Long-time readers may recall that I prized Seattle's Best Dark #5, but I haven't enjoyed that brew for years. Right now Lois & I are enjoying Queens Dark Roast, which we purchased at the Cuban Coffee Queen in Key West last FEB. Good stuff.

RESOLUTIONS UPDATE

> Lose at least 12 lbs. D. May was not a good month with me. I gained weight, & I'm going to have to get serious if I want to meet this goal. I'm concerned, because we have 3 road trips coming up, & I always struggle to eat with moderation when I'm on the road.

> Cross 2 things off our bucket list. A.  We made it to Key West & Dry Tortugas NP in FEB. 

> Have fruits & vegetables at least 4X/week. A.

> Walk at least 4X/week. F. A very sore hip has prevented me from accomplishing this goal. My right hip replacement is scheduled for July 14. Hopefully, I can make progress toward this goal after that.

> Publish my 365 day devotion book. B. I'm currently reviewing the galleys that were sent to me. I've had 2 conversations with my Westbow marketing consultant.

> Write & publish another 365-day devotion book. B. I'm moving right along.

GPA:  C-

PAYING IT FORWARD * 

* Column by Barton Goldsmith in Norfolk Daily News, 5/23

"As a therapist, I am constantly using my brain to create ways to make people's lives less emotionally taxing & easier. I put a lot of thought into it. This doesn't mean that more right-brain activities like playing music get ignored, but in terms of giving my brain a workout, there is nothing better than real-life problem solving, especially when it's for other people.

"When it's your own stuff, you're so emotionally involved, it's hard to get any perspective. And perspective is what you can give to someone else. You don't have to be a therapist to do this. Listening to someone else's problems frees your brain to think of things you wouldn't be able to come up with yourself it you were facing something similar.

"You also get the benefit of putting your experience to use, which strengthens your imagination & thinking ability--& is great mental exercise. And yes, it does help to make you better when it comes to your own problem solving, because getting perspective comes with practice. Helping someone figure out their life is a much more rewarding place to put your energy than anywhere else I could imagine . . . 

"Once you have gotten to a certain place in life, that place where you are wondering what to do next, & you have some choices, you may want to try giving back. Engaging with & spending time with others, & helping out where you can, is a gift to yourself as well as them. I promise that it will serve you & your brain function better than whiling away the hours on your computer."

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO MY TROPHY WIFE

It's our 47th anniversary today. That's right! 47 years of wedded bliss! God has certainly blessed me with a godly wife, who is also a godly mother & grand-mother. Thank you, God. And thank you, Lois, for standing by me all these years.

ANNIVERSARY PRAYER

"Heavenly Father, on our wedding anniversary I come to the throne of grace with a prayer of thanksgiving. I a grateful to You for my spouse I bless You that by Your direction the pathways of our lives met & our hearts were united in true love.

"I thank You, dear Lord, that our love for reach other has been preserved & strengthened through the years. In Your divine wisdom, good days & bad, health & sickness, & all other experiences have bound our hearts & lives closer to each & to You, our God & Lord.

"I confess that I have not always been as kind & thoughtful as I should have been. I regret that I have sometimes been selfish & indifferent. Help me to make amends. Teach me to be quick to forgive & to forget any fault of my spouse, even as You no longer remember my sins for Jesus' sake.

"If it be Your will, grant us additional years of wedded happiness; cause the love that unites us to become stronger each day. When our life is over, take my loved one & me to the heavenly home that You have prepared for those who love You. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen." My Prayer Book

TODDLERS

"Toddler rates Disney World a close 2nd to trip through car wash." Babylon Bee

HIP UPATE

For those of you who take endless delight in my personal life, I'm scheduled for a right hip replacement on 7/14. [I had my left hip done in 2016.] I passed my pulmonology & cardiology screenings. I will still need a pre-op check-up with my GP & attendance at a joint replacement class, approximately 1 week ahead of my surgery. I started doing my pre-op exercises on SUN.

COFFEE UPDATE

Long-time readers may recall that I prized Seattle's Best Dark #5, but I haven't enjoyed that brew for years. Right now Lois & I are enjoying Queens Dark Roast, which we purchased at the Cuban Coffee Queen in Key West last FEB. Good stuff.

RESOLUTIONS UPDATE

> Lose at least 12 lbs. D. May was not a good month with me. I gained weight, & I'm going to have to get serious if I want to meet this goal. I'm concerned, because we have 3 road trips coming up, & I always struggle to eat with moderation when I'm on the road.

> Cross 2 things off our bucket list. A.  We made it to Key West & Dry Tortugas NP in FEB. 

> Have fruits & vegetables at least 4X/week. A.

> Walk at least 4X/week. F. A very sore hip has prevented me from accomplishing this goal. My right hip replacement is scheduled for July 14. Hopefully, I can make progress toward this goal after that.

> Publish my 365 day devotion book. B. I'm currently reviewing the galleys that were sent to me. I've had 2 conversations with my Westbow marketing consultant.

> Write & publish another 365-day devotion book. B. I'm moving right along.

GPA:  C-

PAYING IT FORWARD * 

* Column by Barton Goldsmith in Norfolk Daily News, 5/23

"As a therapist, I am constantly using my brain to create ways to make people's lives less emotionally taxing & easier. I put a lot of thought into it. This doesn't mean that more right-brain activities like playing music get ignored, but in terms of giving my brain a workout, there is nothing better than real-life problem solving, especially when it's for other people.

"When it's your own stuff, you're so emotionally involved, it's hard to get any perspective. And perspective is what you can give to someone else. You don't have to be a therapist to do this. Listening to someone else's problems frees your brain to think of things you wouldn't be able to come up with yourself it you were facing something similar.

"You also get the benefit of putting your experience to use, which strengthens your imagination & thinking ability--& is great mental exercise. And yes, it does help to make you better when it comes to your own problem solving, because getting perspective comes with practice. Helping someone figure out their life is a much more rewarding place to put your energy than anywhere else I could imagine . . . 

"Once you have gotten to a certain place in life, that place where you are wondering what to do next, & you have some choices, you may want to try giving back. Engaging with & spending time with others, & helping out where you can, is a gift to yourself as well as them. I promise that it will serve you & your brain function better than whiling away the hours on your computer."

MEMORIAL DAY

A Time for Celebration & Reflection

"This weekend, Americans will gather with friends and family for pool parties and barbecues. Hot dogs and hamburgers will fly off the shelves, while furniture stores and car dealers will run sales. Memorial Day is a great American tradition. It's also a time to reflect on what the holiday means . . . 

"It’s in memory of the patriots who pledged their lives and sacred honor in the fight for American independence. Motivated by their belief in a God-given right to individual liberty and self-governance, they grabbed their hunting muskets and defeated the most powerful military force of their time . . . 

"It’s about the thousands of men and boys who, less than 80 years later, took up arms once again to more fully realize the Founders’ bold statement that all men are created equal . . . 

"It’s for soldiers likeFirst Lieutenant Walker Beale, who was killed in action on Sept. 18, 1918 at 22 years old. Beale was one of the millions of young American men who fought in World War I and more than 100,000 who died fighting to keep totalitarianism at bay . . . 

"It's in honor of the lives we continue to lose, including the 11 Marines, one Navy sailor, and one Army soldier who returned home in flag-draped coffins from Afghanistan last August. Despite the horrifying scene that unfolded in Kabul, our service members served faithfully, demonstrating the selflessness, bravery, and patriotism that characterizes our military. For their families, this year’s Memorial Day will be deeply personal. For the rest of us, it’s a reminder of the risk that members of our military assume every time they put on the uniform.

"But as sobering as Memorial Day is, it’s also beautiful. This holiday spotlights true acts of courage when it mattered most. It urges us to consider the things worth dying for. It honors the patriots past and present who gave their lives in service of a greater, lasting cause. It’s as much about remembering our war dead as it is a lesson to the living about the high cost of freedom. So with the long weekend, enjoy the family time and ring in the start of summer. But also consider the sacrifice required to guarantee the freedom, security, prosperity, and peace that makes it possible." Ronna McDaniel, Townhall 5/28

PRAYERS FOR MEMORIAL DAY

From My Prayer Book

"Almighty & eternal God, Ruler of individuals & of nations, I bring my thanks to You this Memorial Day for all the blessings that You have given our nation. Prosperity has reigned in our country, & enemies have not been able to subdue us, because You have graciously held Your protecting hand over us. Help us to know & to acknowledge that freedom, prosperity, & other blessings come from You, & make us thankful.

"I confess, Lord, that Your blessings are entirely undeserved. Irreverence, lust, theft, murder, & sins & crimes of every description are the shame of our privileged country, & with others I can only bow before You in shame. Merciful Father, forgive our personal sins & our national sins for Jesus' sake. Enlighten us by Your Word. Make us upright citizens of our dear country & worthy members of the community in which we live. Move us to bow under authority, first under Yours, & then under the authority of our government. Give us & all countries of the world a lasting peace, & teach us to live together as befits Your children. Bring about a mighty Christian revival, & turn to You the hearts of millions who now live in unbelief.

"As our memories go back to those who have died to preserve our liberties, make us grateful & humble. Give us the determination to do all in our power to safeguard our freedom.Make us diligent in prayer for our country, guide & lead those in authority with Your sure counsel, & give power to all Christian witness that not only Christians of today but also man others may be brought to eternal life through You; for Jesus' sake. Amen."

From Lutheran Book of Prayer

"Gracious Lord, heavenly Father, on this day we pause to remember the sacrifices made for freedom throughout the past centuries. We do indeed owe a debt of gratitude to those who have paid dearly for the liberty we enjoy. Yet, O Lord, I know that good government, peace, & freedom are really gifts granted from Your fatherly hand, as I confess in the Creed. As we remember those who have served our nation, help us to remember that civic duty, no matter how well done, does not grant entrance to Your kingdom. We are saved by grace, through faith in Christ, apart from our works. Freed from the Law's demands, I know that I am now free to serve my neighbor for my neighbor's sake. May the sacrifices of those who have gone before me serve as examples. When I meet those who have served, remind me to thank them. Almighty Gd, guide the leaders of our nation. Watch over those who serve in our armed forces, especially those far from home.  *And above all, grant that we, Your children by faith in Christ, may find a field of service in which we, as salt & leaven, may uphold righteousness, order, & peace, in Jesus' name. Amen. 

* Our nephew Kyle, who's in the Navy, is currently deployed on a ship.

A RIGHTEOUS BRANCH

Jeremiah 23:5-8a “For the time is coming,” says the Lord, “when I will place a righteous Branch upon King David’s throne. He shall be a King who shall rule with wisdom & justice & cause righteousness to prevail everywhere throughout the earth. And this is His name:  The Lord our Righteousness.” The Living Bible

GOD'S LOVE

"God doesn't withhold love until we arrive at perfection. He loves us while we are growing & even while we are His enemies. His love enables us to change & mature." Jim Conway, Men's Devotional Bible

DOING GOD'S PERFECT WILL

"In Rom. 12:1 the Apostle Paul tells us ' . . . to offer our bodies as living sacrifices . . . ' Christ sacrificed Himself for our sins, but, as He rose from the dead, so we Christians shall never die. We are living sacrifices who serve others in response to the grace that has been shown to us. We seek opportunities to be useful & to be God's representatives here on earth. In 2 Cor. 5:20, Paul calls us 'Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making His appeal through us.' We do not have to have extraordinary abilities or spheres of influence, because we know that God is not limited by our flaws or by circumstances. We just need to make ourselves available, because God has chosen to make His appeal through us. By looking at Christian stewards, others sew what Christ is like." Steward Builders

GIFTS OF THE ASCENDED CHRIST

"In ancient royal victory parades, it was common to put captured enemies on display. The ESV translation picks up on that image in both Psalm 68 & Ephesians 4:  'Leading a host of captives in Your train' (Ps. 68:18). But the original texts are more stunning. 'When He ascended to the highest place He took captivity captive (Eph. 4:8). It is as if the cage in the parade contained not just defeated soldiers & kings, but also bent bars, broke padlocks & snapped chains. The very things that had imprisoned us are now themselves behind bars so they can hurt us no longer. Luther preached this with joyful abandon in an Ascension Day sermon:  'Sin, death, devil, & hell had taken us captive; but Christ has in turn taken them captive ... He takes my captivity captive, intercepts my hangman, interdicts my sins, exterminates my death, damns my hell.' Christ has bound the strong man, Satan, so that he can threaten us no more." Thomas Winger, The Lutheran Witness, May 2022

LIFE THOUGHTS

"How good & pleasant it is when brothers, mothers & their babies, children & their elderly parents live together (Ps. 133:1) without putting one another to death! In this sanctity of every life, God has not just invited but commanded & accomplished blessing by the coming of His Son! And if He has wrought good from the casting of lots (Acts 1:26), may we not trust Him to wring even better from surprise pregnancy or terminal diagnosis? Grace Lutheran Church bulletin

STEWARDSHIP CORNER

"When we as God's stewards faithfully use our time, talents, & money for God's purpose, He is praised & honored. Through Word & Sacrament, we are enabled to live God-centered rather than self-centered lives, &, with the help of the Holy Spirit, we live lives seeking to please our Lord Who has created & redeemed us. We become God's instruments through which He works to fulfill His purpose of seeking & saving the lost (Luke 19:10). We are His hands, feet, & mouth to reach out to all people." Grace Lutheran Church bulletin

AN ASCENSION HYMN

Look, Ye Saints, the Sight Is Glorious (LSB #495, St. 1, 4)

Look, ye saints, the sight is glorious, See the Man of Sorrows now! From the fight returned victorious, Ev'ry knee to Him shall bow. Crown Him! Crown Him! Crown Him! Crown Him! Crown Him! Crown Him! Crowns become the victor's brow. Crowns become the victor's brow.

Hark, those bursts of acclamation! Hark, those loud triumphant chords! Jesus takes the highest station; Oh, what joy the sight accords. Crown Him! Crown Him! Crown Him! Crown Him! Crown Him! Crown Him! King of kings & Lord of lords! King of kings & Lord of lords!

TRENDING

"Washington mom saves toddler running to hug black bear." Fox News Online

CRIMINAL MINDS

"LA police say alleged robbery suspect accidentally shot accomplice while unloading stolen tourist goods." FNO

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"Burger prices to remain high as cattle ranchers shrink herds." Drudge Report

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING *

* Compliments of Reader's Digest, Dec. '21/Jan. '22

"If the helicopter pilot asks if you like roller coasters, maybe think about why he'd ask that before you gleefully exclaim yes. I know this now." 

People on Reddit recall the moment they realized, Hey, I'm no longer young!

> When I went through the house yelling to the kids, "When you leave the room, turn the light OFF!"

> When I dislocated my jaw yawning.

> When sons of FB players I watched growing up got drafted into the NFL.

> As I left a bar & waited for my husband to come out, I thought, We're the oldest people here by ten years at least. Then, to my relief, I saw an old guy in the crowd. Then, to my horror, I realized the old guy was my husband.

HOW TO STAY MARRIED *

* Source:  Column by Sharon Randall in Norfolk Daily News, 5/17 [NOTE: This list has been edited.]

1. Listen to each other.

3. Never go to sleep angry.

4. Laugh together.

5. Never embarrass, criticize or correct one another in public; try not to do it in private either.

7. Don't expect perfection.

8. On days when you don't like each other, try to remember that you love each other.

9. Tell the truth, only the truth, & always with great kindness.

10. Kiss for at least 10 seconds everyday without fail; do it all at once or spread it out.

12. Be content with what you have materially, honest about where you are emotionally, & never stop growing spiritually.

13. Always wish each other nothing but the very best.

14. Never yell unless the house is on fire.

15. Be both friends & lovers.

16. Show by your actions as well as your words that the person you married comes first in your life.

17. Remember that you're in love. Kiss in elevators. Hold hands in movies. Lock eyes across a crowded room. Say "You are beautiful & I love you" at least once a day. Then say it again every night.

18. Never miss an anniversary, a birthday or a chance to make a memory.

 

WHY I BLOG *

* And comment on Facebook

I started blogging a number of years ago as a way to help me cope with my anxiety & depression. Journaling can be a great help, & blogging was my form of journaling. So, I still journal mostly to please myself, but I also journal to, hopefully, amuse & inform others.

I search the Drudge Report, Babylon Bee, & Fox News Online for news, especially quirky news, that amuses me & hopefully amuses others. [OK, not everyone considers the Babylon Bee a legitimate news source. I also search for news that exposes the hypocrisy of the Left. My political sources tend to be National Review Online & Townhall. Why don't I tend to post news that is critical of the Right? Because the drive-by media already does plenty of that.

I have a confession to make. All too often I take pleasure in posting stuff in order to push buttons. I'm not sure that's a godly thing to do. I often feel like I'm just preaching to the choir, & that my posts are unlikely to change any minds. I especially have a hard time refraining from commenting on pro-abortion & other liberal stuff that pushes MY buttons. I realize that some of my posts are offensive, so how do I overcome my need to push buttons? Prayer, I guess. I think I need to be less politically motivated, I guess. It's a dilemma for me. What do you think?

WHAT I'M READING

I'm reading "A Curious Man:  The Strange & Brilliant Life of Robert 'Believe It or Not!' Ripley," by Neal Thompson. My reading tastes continue to be eclectic.

WHAT WE'RE WATCHING

We binge-watched all 6 seasons of Downton Abbey, then watched the first Downton Abbey movie, then watched the second Downton Abbey movie at the theater last TUE. Never thought I'd admit liking a soap opera, but I just can't get enough of those British accents. Now we're watching the new season of Call the Midwife, because, British accents. We started watching Deep Space 9 again, & we continue watching CBS shows on Paramount.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"818 hot dogs are eaten every second between Memorial Day & Labor Day." Omaha World Herald, 5/26

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE NEBRASKA . . . 

"The University of Nebraska will halt its decades-long tradition of releasing balloons at Huskers football games due to a helium shortage." Fox News Online, 5/26. FYI:  The tradition has been to release red balloons into the air at Memorial Stadium with the Cornhuskers' first score. This tradition has lost some luster over the past few years, sad to say, because of Nebraska's pitiful losing record, even at home.

 . . . LIKE CALIFORNIA

"They're hazing bears with paintball guns in Tahoe." FNO, 5/26. NOTE TO MY IN-LAWS WHO HAVE A TRAILER IN SOUTH LAKE TAHOE:  Have you purchased a paintball gun yet? Do I need to bring mine?

I LOVE THE BABYLON BEE

"Nation comes together during tragedy to engage in tradition of hateful bickering."

"Study finds 100% of kids suffer from severe dehydration as soon as it's time for bed."

"Embarrassing mix-up as Joseph wears coat of many colors during Pride Month again."

"Nation's 4-year-olds condemn actions of entitled, whiny protestors.

Strange monkeypox symptoms

* A mild headache:  Run for your life! YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!

* You pick a bug out of your wife's hair & eat it:  Helpful but gross. Don't do that.

* All of your pants are at the tailor to have a hole added for your tail.

* A tiny monkey bursts out of your chest.

* Zero symptoms:  Better quarantine just to be safe.

Signs that today might be your wedding anniversary

> Your wife says something cryptic like, "I got you a present."

> Your wife is loudly sighing at twice her normal rate.

> You read this headline & thought, "Oh crap!"

> The calendar in the kitchen has the date circled with a little heart for some reason.

> The date engraved on the inside of your wedding ring happens to be today's date.

> NOTE TO WOMEN:  If you forgot your wedding anniversary, don't worry. Your husband will be relieved.

FYI:  Our 47th wedding anniversary is 5/31. Rest assured that I've bought Lois a lavish present & will present her with an inspiring card.

DRIVE-BY MEDIA

"WaPo writer warns if Roe v. Wade is overturned, women will be prosecuted for miscarriages." Fox News Online. Because, Washington Post.

"MSNBC, The View go off on blood-drenched Republicans, call for 2nd Amendment repeal:  'Barbarians.'" FNO. Because, MSNBC & The View.

"Late-night hosts Colbert, Meyers, mock conservatives for proposing 'grotesque' idea of arming teachers." FNO. Because, late-night hosts.

ROAD TRIPS

A week from today we're taking our 3 oldest grand-kids to the Twin Cities, where we'll be joined by our 2 youngest grand-kids. Really looking forward to it! I'll be sure to post my travelogues, which people seem to enjoy more than my blogs. We barely get back from that trip when we leave for California. Lois, Brianna [our oldest grand-kid], & I will be spending time with Lois' oldest sister & her family. Lois, Wanda, & Brianna will be helping at the Joni & Friends Retreat in Mission Springs. My brother-in-law John & I will be hanging out. Not sure yet about our itinerary. We barely get back from that & we'll be headed to Lake Okoboji for a family reunion with our kids & grand-kids. Whew!

FNO

WHY I BLOG *

* And comment on Facebook

I started blogging a number of years ago as a way to help me cope with my anxiety & depression. Journaling can be a great help, & blogging was my form of journaling. So, I still journal mostly to please myself, but I also journal to, hopefully, amuse & inform others.

I search the Drudge Report, Babylon Bee, & Fox News Online for news, especially quirky news, that amuses me & hopefully amuses others. [OK, not everyone considers the Babylon Bee a legitimate news source. I also search for news that exposes the hypocrisy of the Left. My political sources tend to be National Review Online & Townhall. Why don't I tend to post news that is critical of the Right? Because the drive-by media already does plenty of that.

I have a confession to make. All too often I take pleasure in posting stuff in order to push buttons. I'm not sure that's a godly thing to do. I often feel like I'm just preaching to the choir, & that my posts are unlikely to change any minds. I especially have a hard time refraining from commenting on pro-abortion & other liberal stuff that pushes MY buttons. I realize that some of my posts are offensive, so how do I overcome my need to push buttons? Prayer, I guess. I think I need to be less politically motivated, I guess. It's a dilemma for me. What do you think?

WHAT I'M READING

I'm reading "A Curious Man:  The Strange & Brilliant Life of Robert 'Believe It or Not!' Ripley," by Neal Thompson. My reading tastes continue to be eclectic.

WHAT WE'RE WATCHING

We binge-watched all 6 seasons of Downton Abbey, then watched the first Downton Abbey movie, then watched the second Downton Abbey movie at the theater last TUE. Never thought I'd admit liking a soap opera, but I just can't get enough of those British accents. Now we're watching the new season of Call the Midwife, because, British accents. We started watching Deep Space 9 again, & we continue watching CBS shows on Paramount.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

"818 hot dogs are eaten every second between Memorial Day & Labor Day." Omaha World Herald, 5/26

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE NEBRASKA . . . 

"The University of Nebraska will halt its decades-long tradition of releasing balloons at Huskers football games due to a helium shortage." Fox News Online, 5/26. FYI:  The tradition has been to release red balloons into the air at Memorial Stadium with the Cornhuskers' first score. This tradition has lost some luster over the past few years, sad to say, because of Nebraska's pitiful losing record, even at home.

 . . . LIKE CALIFORNIA

"They're hazing bears with paintball guns in Tahoe." FNO, 5/26. NOTE TO MY IN-LAWS WHO HAVE A TRAILER IN SOUTH LAKE TAHOE:  Have you purchased a paintball gun yet? Do I need to bring mine?

I LOVE THE BABYLON BEE

"Nation comes together during tragedy to engage in tradition of hateful bickering."

"Study finds 100% of kids suffer from severe dehydration as soon as it's time for bed."

"Embarrassing mix-up as Joseph wears coat of many colors during Pride Month again."

"Nation's 4-year-olds condemn actions of entitled, whiny protestors.

Strange monkeypox symptoms

* A mild headache:  Run for your life! YOU'RE ALREADY DEAD!

* You pick a bug out of your wife's hair & eat it:  Helpful but gross. Don't do that.

* All of your pants are at the tailor to have a hole added for your tail.

* A tiny monkey bursts out of your chest.

* Zero symptoms:  Better quarantine just to be safe.

Signs that today might be your wedding anniversary

> Your wife says something cryptic like, "I got you a present."

> Your wife is loudly sighing at twice her normal rate.

> You read this headline & thought, "Oh crap!"

> The calendar in the kitchen has the date circled with a little heart for some reason.

> The date engraved on the inside of your wedding ring happens to be today's date.

> NOTE TO WOMEN:  If you forgot your wedding anniversary, don't worry. Your husband will be relieved.

FYI:  Our 47th wedding anniversary is 5/31. Rest assured that I've bought Lois a lavish present & will present her with an inspiring card.

DRIVE-BY MEDIA

"WaPo writer warns if Roe v. Wade is overturned, women will be prosecuted for miscarriages." Fox News Online. Because, Washington Post.

"MSNBC, The View go off on blood-drenched Republicans, call for 2nd Amendment repeal:  'Barbarians.'" FNO. Because, MSNBC & The View.

"Late-night hosts Colbert, Meyers, mock conservatives for proposing 'grotesque' idea of arming teachers." FNO. Because, late-night hosts.

ROAD TRIPS

A week from today we're taking our 3 oldest grand-kids to the Twin Cities, where we'll be joined by our 2 youngest grand-kids. Really looking forward to it! I'll be sure to post my travelogues, which people seem to enjoy more than my blogs. We barely get back from that trip when we leave for California. Lois, Brianna [our oldest grand-kid], & I will be spending time with Lois' oldest sister & her family. Lois, Wanda, & Brianna will be helping at the Joni & Friends Retreat in Mission Springs. My brother-in-law John & I will be hanging out. Not sure yet about our itinerary. We barely get back from that & we'll be headed to Lake Okoboji for a family reunion with our kids & grand-kids. Whew!

CELEBRATING ASCENSION

Today Christians throughout the world are celebrating Christ's ascension into heaven, which occurred 40 days after His resurrection. Churches used to hold worship services on Ascension Day, but not so much anymore. When I returned to Norfolk in 1997, prior to Lois' & our kids return, I attended a circuit Ascension service at Christ Lutheran. At the conclusion of the service, we proceeded outside & released balloons, signifying Jesus' ascending into heaven. [Releasing balloons on Ascension is not commanded by Scripture, in case you were wondering.]

A DISPLAY OF POWER

"He was lifted up, & a cloud took Him out of their sight." (Acts 1:9) And so, the ascension of Jesus to heaven is not an end to His ministry but a display of His power, authority, & majesty. The ascension of Jesus to the right hand of power was to show that the time of Jesus' humiliation was over. No more suffering, dying, & agonizing cross for Jesus! His ascension shows us that He is above all. He is not like other kings. He has ascended higher than any other king has ever ascended. Jesus & the kingdom of heaven are not like us & not like this world. They are free from the limitations & sins of this world, & they will last forever--& that is a very good thing!" Matthew Richard, Minute Messages

THE JOY OF ASCENSION

"Christ's ascension marks the transition from His earthly presence to His session at the right hand of God .  . In a much greater way, our Lord Jesus Christ sits at the right hand of the throne of God, & from this position of power directs all things for the good of His Bride, the church. The church fittingly celebrates this event with all joy. Our Lord Jesus Christ, who retains our flesh & blood, sits at the right hand of the throne of God & directs all things for our good." Roy Askins, The Lutheran Witness, May 2020

PRAYERS FOR ASCENSION

From the Lutheran Prayer Book

"Lord Jesus, who on the day of Your ascension withdrew Your visible body from the eyes of Your disciples, yet promised to be with them always unto the end of the world, make Your presence felt among us as we gather in Your name & around Your holy Word & Sacraments. Let these means of grace be not only Your enduring & comforting presence but also a strengthening of my faith throughout my life & to the very end of days. Remove from my heart & life the . uncertainties & the doubt, the questioning & the fears brought on by the woes & chaos of the world. Strengthen my faith, that I may confidently trust Your power to save & to rule.Enable me to trust that You direct all things for good to Your Church, into which You have called me--a sheep under Your care. Above all, fill my heart with longing for that heavenly home to which You have gone to prepare a place for me, & give me a strong desire & watchful readiness for the day when I shall see You coming again to take me & all the Church into Your mansions above. In Your name I ask it. Amen."

From My Prayer Book *

* I received this prayer book as a confirmation present from my pastor at St. Paul's Lutheran Church in Concordia, MO.

"Lord Jesus Christ, who was delivered unto death for my offenses, raised again for my justification, & crowned in glory at Your ascension, I praise You for having finished the work given You by Your Father for my redemption & my coronation. As once Your disciples gazed steadfastly into heaven as You ascended on high, lift my eyes heavenward & set my affections on the eternal treasures reserved there for me. You have ascended on high & have led captivity captive; I pray You to take fuller possession of my soul, my life, my all, so that I may look constantly to You as the end & aim of my life.

"Strengthen in me the longing for fulfillment of Your promise:  'Where I am, there shall My servant be also.' Keep me in the true faith, so that I may always be prepared for Your second coming & return to Judgment, ready to meet You in the clouds of heaven when You return in glory to take me to Your glory.

"Let Your ascension strengthen me in the assurance of my ascension on high, & lift me above the cares & worries of this life. Until You return, give me the grace & joy for knowing that You rule all things for the ultimate well-being of Your dear children. Grant me the cheerful readiness to submit myself to Your mighty protection & loving direction, & help me daily to crown You as my Lord by a life of holy obedience to Your will. Amen."

A HYMN FOR ASCENSION

A Hymn of Glory Let Us Sing (LSB #493, Sts. 1 & 6)

A hymn of glory let us sing! New hymns throughout the world shall ring:  Alleluia, alleluia! Christ, by a road before untrod, Ascends unto the throne of God. Alleluia, alleluia! Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

O risen Christ, ascended Lord, All praise to You let earth accord:  Alleluia, alleluia! You are, while endless ages run, With Father & with Spirit one. Alleluia, alleluia! Alleluia, alleluia, alleluia!

A PERSONAL NOTE:  This is probably my favorite Ascension hymn. When I put together the first graduation service at Lutheran High Northeast in Norfolk, NE, I chose this as the processional hymn. I did this for two reasons. I wanted graduation to take place within the context of a worship service. And I wanted to distinguish us as a Christian high school, not a public high school, so I chose not to use "Pomp & Circumstance."

TEXAS

I choose not to post anything about the school massacre in Texas. What's very disappointing is that, instead of expressing condolences for those who are grieving the murder of their loved ones, demagogues are predictably using this tragedy to push a political agenda. Sad, very sad. My heart & prayers go out to the families of these victims, & I give thanks for the law officer who took out the shooter.

WISDOM FROM THE BABYLON BEE

Guessing your denomination by how you pray

Prayer is about how terrible, awful, & undeserving we all are of the food we're about to eat:  Calvinist.

Prayer is led by a woman:  Hey, wait a minute, you're not a Christian!

No prayer:  Unitarian.

Makes everyone hold hands:  Your mom.

Says cute little liturgical prayer between gulps of beer:  Lutheran.

By thanking the moon & sun god for this bountiful harvest:  Wait a second! You're a pagan!

Pray incantations in Latin:  Catholics.

Prays in Hebrew & glances around to see if if everyone noticed:  Pentecostal.

SCIENCE

"Beware of totalitarian control of scientific and medical thought here in America. Prominent academic publications, medical organizations and even some state legislatures are trying to silence scientific disagreements about COVID-19. That will kill medical progress . . . 

"It's dangerous because there is no such thing as scientific certainty about COVID-19 or any other disease. Challenging scientific consensus is not "disinformation." It's how medical breakthroughs happen. Today's unorthodox treatment might become tomorrow's lifesaving standard of care. Crushing scientific dissenters is a sure way to halt medical progress in its tracks.

"Nothing, not even a virus, is as dangerous to our future health as this silencing of medical debate. All of us, of every political persuasion, must denounce it for our own sakes." Betsy McCaughey, Townhall

TRUST IN THE LORD

Jeremiah 17:7  "But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord & has made the Lord his hope & confidence." The Living Bible

THE SPIRITUAL LIFE

"The spiritual life is not a life of quiet withdrawal, a hothouse of growth of artificial ascetic practices beyond the reach of people living ordinary lives. It is the ordinary duties & labors of life that the Christian can & should develop his spiritual union with God." Thomas Merton, Men's Devotional Bible

LIFE THOUGHTS

"Will euthanasia 'let the peoples praise You, O God'? Does embryo experimentation "let all the peoples praise you' (Ps. 67:3)? If the heavenly city's structures have the brilliance of gemstones (Rev. 21), what inestimable value resides in the human bodies whom the Lamb has written into His book of life by creating, redeeming, & calling them each? Our witness to the sanctity of life may bring tribulation, but His grace alone has overcome it already (John 6:33). Grace Lutheran Church Bulletin

GRIEF

"Studies show that depression leads to isolation & isolation leads to depression. This is true of the grieving just as it is for the clinically depressed.No one can function in a healthy fashion alone. Thankfully, the Christian congregation can help break the cycle. A Christian congregation gathers together to receive God's Word & Sacraments; in that gathering, God's people may expect encouragement from fellow believers.St. Paul urges us:  'Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep' (Rom. 12:15). The apostle is exhorting the mourner to grieve, not in a private space in an attempt to avoid troubling others but in the space shared with other believers.

"Martin Luther also says, 'Whoever is in despair, distressed by a sin-stricken conscience or terrified by death or carrying some other burden upon his heart, if he would be rid of them all, let him go joyfully to the sacrament of the altar & lay down his woe in the midst of the community [of saints] & seek help from the entire company of the spiritual body.'" Robert Preus, The Lutheran Witness, Sept. 2021

AN EASTER HYMN 

Jesus Lives! The Victory's Won (LSB #490), Sts. 4 & 5)

"Jesus lives! I know full well Nothing me from Him shall sever. Neither death nor pow'rs of hell Part me now from Christ forever. God will be my sure defense; This shall be my confidence.

"Jesus lives! And now is death But the gate of life immortal; This shall calm my trembling breath When I pass its gloomy portal. Faith shall cry, as fails each sense:  Jesus is my confidence!