TURKEY

"It turns out you can't blame turkey for your Thanksgiving nap. Instead, food & sleep experts say holiday drowsiness likely comes from feasting & energy exertion. 'Folklore has it that the tryptophan-rich turkey is the reason behind the prevalence of snoozers sprawled out in your living after leftovers are tucked away . . . But if you look a little further into the science (or lack of) behind this folklore, you will soon realize that this tryptophan theory just doesn't make any physiological sense . . . '" Fox News Online 

THANKSGIVING DINNER

You maybe have heard of the infamous turducken, a chicken inside a duck inside of a turkey. We haven't indulged in one for Thanksgiving yet, although I've lobbied for it. Lois says that the kids would never stand for it.

This morning Lois heard on "The Five" about a new Thanksgiving treat:  a piecaken, which is a dessert featuring layer upon layer of pie & cake. Sadly, Lois says it's too late to put one together for our traditional Thanksgiving feast tomorrow.

TURKEY DAY COOKING TIPS

* The most obvious concerns are about proper length of time for cooking [the turkey] . . . Traditionally, for an oven-roasted bird, you multiply the number of lbs the turkey weighs by 15 (15 min per lb.) Being leery of undercooked poultry, I suggest taking the product of the turkey weight X 15, then multiplying that number by the sum of all the numbers in your cellphone number (including area code). Not once has anyone complained that my turkey was undercooked. My turkeys may taste like the bottom of your shoe, but they are never undercooked.

* Does a splash of white wine in the gravy help? It has been my experience that wine doesn't do all that much for the gravy, but it can have a calming influence on the cook.

* How do you remove the bag of internal organs, bits of intestines & waddle buried deep inside the bird? For many years, I wore plastic gloves & wrestled the bag out with a wrench. Eventually, I discovered that I am mentally healthier, & more able to enjoy the holiday, by leaving the disgusting little bag inside & letting it explode. Make sure you have a self-cleaning oven. Oh, & work on looking surprised.

* The best turkeys ever were the ones my grandma made:  Golden-brown on the outside & pure deliciousness on the inside. Unfortunately, I have no idea how she made them because I was a kid, one of 23 first cousins on my mother's side, all of whom were routinely told to "Get outside & stay outside!"

* What is the best turkey you have ever served? Hands down, the best turkey I ever served was a tender turkey breast, smoked, thinly sliced & purchased at Honey Baked Ham." Column by Lori Borgman, Norfolk Daily News 11/22

MORE THANKSGIVING NEWS

"Americans expect to gain 8 lbs during holidays." Drudge Report

"White House says everyone can save on Thanksgiving by skipping it since there is nothing to be thankful for." Babylon Bee

COVID 

"Aaron Rodgers doesn't just have any toe injury. He has COVID toe." Drudge Report

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