THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE CHICAGO . . . 

"Chicago reports 40 tragic bullet accidents over weekend." Babylon Bee FYI! Lois & I lived in Chicago from 1975-1980.

. . . SAN FRANCISCO

"San Francisco stores hold 100% off Black Friday sale." Babylon Bee

MAJOR DISASTERS FROM HISTORY *

* And how the media reported them, compliments of the Babylon Bee

French Revolution:  Hundreds of guillotine accidents reported.

Tiananmen Square:  Man killed in collision with tank.

OJ Simpson:  Pair of gloves strangles OJ's wife.

Aztec human sacrifice:  Native peoples discover innovative way to reduce carbon footprint.

Pompeii:  Trump destroys Pompeii

Oklahoma City bombing:  Fertilizer mishap at government building.

9/11:  Shortsighted contractors build Towers in path of oncoming planes.

Herod killing babies:  Strong attendance at pro-choice rally in Bethlehem.

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING *

* Compliments of Reader's Digest, Sept. 2021

"Dubious claims my toddler made this week:"

> He invented the thumbs-up. 

> Only "some" lizards can read. 

> He forgot how to eat carrots. 

> His day care allows swords.