HOLIDAY HOSTING HACKS: 

Tips for a stress-free celebration  Omaha World Herald, 11/21

* Keep centerpieces simple

* Give the kids something to do

* Cover the table in kraft paper

* Stick to white plates

* Skip fancy silverware

* Cover your turkey in bacon Winner winner turkey dinner!

* Make your stuffing in a muffin tin

* Let guests play mixologist

* Make crowd-sized appetizers

* Love your slow cooker

* Prepare your pans

* Embrace shortcuts

* Serve drinks in jars

* Make your own own roasting pan 'rack'

* Make your gravy in a roasting pan

MORE THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS

"Thanksgiving dinner will cost 14% more this year" OWH 11/21

"5 ways to get along this Thanksgiving--even with family members you may not like" Fox News Online 11/21

> Listen before your talk

> Ask questions

> Show concern for the people with whom you disagree

> Don't expect perfection

> Give thanks

"When you pray this holiday season worry less & thank Jesus more" Ditto

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING *

* Compliments of Reader's Digest, July/Aug 2021

"Every time a sexy woman jumps out of a giant cake, there is at least one guy who is bummed about the cake being ruined."

"Fortune Cookie:  YOU JUST BROKE MY HOUSE IN HALF & NOW YOU'RE READING MY JOURNAL."

"The best way to prepare cauliflower is by throwing it in the trash while ordering a delicious pizza."

"Mom, Dad, I'm a gatherer. -- Caveman coming out to his parents."

"How do they get the hurricanes to arrive in alphabetical order?"

"In a thousand years, archeologists will dig up tanning beds & think we fried people as punishment."