Is this the last Corhusker Blog Lite of 2017?

Startling Temps + Our Dubious Social Lives

Temp Challenge

This could very well be the last Leckband Temp Challenge of 2017. This morning's results were shocking . . . shocking, I tell you! These rankings are based on data from Weather Underground (wunderground.com) at 6:59a (CST).

#6) Eagan, MN, -12/wind chill -26
#5) Ventura, IA, -7/-22
#4) Garrison, IA, -1/-20
#3) Lincoln, NE, 4/-4
#2) Beatrice, NE, 4/4
#1) BALMIEST LECKBANDs, Norfolk, NE, 9/1

• These results may be controversial for several reasons. First of all, why did I rank Leckband locations from coldest to balmiest, according Norfolk the honor of a #1 ranking over Eagan, by far the coldest? Answer:  It's my blog. 
• And I'm president & CEO of the Leckband Temp Challenge Consortium (LTCC).
• Lois got up a few minutes ago & was rightfully skeptical about the data re:  our hometown. * I checked & at 8:57a, the temp readings for Norfolk were 0/0. Today's high was forecast as -1 & today's low was forecast as -12. And it's snowing there.
• TTCDIMA. ["This temperature conversation doesn't interest me anymore.]

* Did you notice that Woodland Park is no longer on the list? Rachel & Derek have moved into Norfolk & are now situated only 1/2 mile west of our esteemed location.

License Plate Update

If you are a faithful follower of my blog, you know that Lois & I keep track of license plates. We record an out-of-state license plate when we see it. It must be seen outside of the state on the license plate. Three years ago we bagged all 50 states. The following year we were 1 short. In 2016 we were 3 short. As of 8:56a, SAT 12/30, we are missing Hawaii & Rhode Island. Considering that we are in Lincoln, NE & will be traveling back to Norfolk later today, & considering that--given tomorrow's forecast--we may be hunkered down in our house, * our prospects appear bleak.
* We will try to attend at least 1 of the 2 worship services at Grace tomorrow . . . just to let you know that we remain pious Lutherans.

Our Social Lives

For a few, brief hours last night, we actually experienced the semblance of a social life. We drove to Lincoln yesterday. Last evening we took a short jaunt across town to Steve & June's, our very close friends. Craig & Sarah & the girls accompanied us. Two of the Taege's illustrious daughters joined us, along with a couple of their grand-kids & one son-in-law. We were treated to Steve's most excellent mixologist skills. We thoroughly enjoyed June's chili, which was especially welcomed because of the perfidious weather; finished off w/delectable cinnamon rolls. [That's right . . . In Nebraska we eat cinnamon rolls w/our chili.]

We also basked in a plethora of fascinating, conversational topics, including:

• World religions
• Law enforcement strategies
• Guns & tasers
• Techniques for foiling DUI tests. *

* I should mention that Ruth's husband Ryan works in law enforcement. Ruth is the 3rd oldest Taege daughter.

Lois is taking Sarah out for lunch, followed by a tour of Sarah's new office facilities. * I've been informed that I am taking the girls to Subway for lunch. Craig is working on a home improvement project, so I'm not sure whether he will join us or not. We'll drive back home later this afternoon.

* She & some of her cohorts are moving to a new practice next month.

Speaking of New Year Plans

• We will be celebrating New Year's Eve at home, just the two of us.
• We plan to enjoy shrimp & sushi.
• We plan to indulge in CSI episodes on Netflix.
• Looks like we will be returning to our sad yet pathetic social lives. *

* Although I can't think of a better New Year's Eve partner than my trophy wife Lois.

Cornhusker Blog Lite

Dad & Mom Stories + Miscellaneous Reports & Reflections + Planned Death

December Nostalgia

Yesterday, THU 12/28, would have been my mom's 89th birthday. Earlier this month I posted about DEC 19, which would have been my dad's 91st birthday. 

• Here's a favorite memory of Dad. It wasn't unusual for Dad to get prank phone calls, since he was principal of St. Paul's Lutheran School. [This is one of several reasons why I don't feel a lot of nostalgia for my hometown of Concordia, MO.] One night he got a prank phone call. He listened for a few moments, then put the receiver down without hanging up. We asked why he didn't hang up. He explained that until he hung up, the circuit couldn't be closed. We thought that was hilarious. We could hear the voice on the other end. The pranking language continued for a short while, then turned to profane language. Pretty soon we could tell that tone of the voice had become pleading, & we could hear the voice begging Dad to hang up. Dad let the call continue for a few more minutes, then picked up the phone & explained that he would hang up after the caller came over to our house & personally apologized. About 15 minutes later there was a knock on the door. We couldn't see who it was, but we could hear the apology. We could also "hear" the apologetic tone & the lame explanation that the person delivering the apology was not the caller-- that the caller's parents were becoming angry because they were unable to make outgoing calls or take incoming calls. Dad had a few words with the apologizer; we couldn't make them out. After the door closed, Dad hung up the phone. When we asked why he let the caller get away with sending a surrogate to handle the apology, Dad told us that he recognized the voice on the front porch. It was the same voice as the caller. I would like to think that Dad didn't get any more prank calls from this person.
• Here's a memory of Mom. It's more of a sobering memory. [No, it didn't involve the imbibing of alcoholic beverages.] She always walked two houses down to the church, so she could practice for several hours late on SAT afternoons in preparation for SUN morning services. Considering the years that she had spent practicing & playing for services, it struck me as especially amazing that she would continue to spend a a few hours practicing each SUN. [Maybe it was her way of getting out of the house & away from us kids for a few hours.] But I digress . . . One SAT she came back to our house & informed us that while she was practicing, she was startled by the appearance of a stranger in the balcony. [No, it wasn't an angel . . . I think.] The stranger, whom she did not recognize, claimed that he had wandered into the church--doors were kept unlocked in those days--heard her playing, & found his way upstairs to the balcony so he could listen. She had kept her composure, finished, left the church, & walked back home. She played down the incident, but Dad was not happy. [I don't remember that this led to the church doors being locked on Saturdays.]

There Is No Place Like . . . Iowa

From Norfolk Daily News (12/28):  "The Wave. Iowa fans ended the 1st quarter w/'The Wave.' Iowa fans at Kinnick Stadium turn & wave to patients at the University of Iowa Stead Family Children's Hospital, a 12-story bldg that sits right across the street. On game days, patients & their families can watch the game &, after the 1st quarter, wave back. The Hawkeyes kept the tradition going at Yankee Stadium."  COMMENT:  And Iowa won their bowl game. I was actually cheering for IA on behalf of my Iowanian friends & family. This just adds to my "good cheer."

There Is No Place Like . . . Iran

From Omaha World Herald (12/29):  "Tehran police:  No more arrests over dress code. Police in Iran's capital said they will no longer arrest women for failing to observe the Islamic dress code imposed since the 1979 revolution."  COMMENT:  It may surprise you to know that I don't have a problem with Tehrania Mania [Hey, I think that's a pretty clever label. If no one else has thought of it, I claim exlusive rights.] over dress codes. It wouldn't hurt my feelings if there was a ban in Norfolk re:  (1) long, scraggly beards, combined w/relatively short hair cuts; & (2) jeans that are ripped to the point where there is more skin showing than denim. *
* It dawns on me that this item could also have qualified for a G.O.M.E.R. ** entry.
** Grumpy Old Men & Their Elucidating Rants. ***
*** Maybe I should change this to Grumpy Old Men & Their EBULLIENT Rants.

Best TV Comedies of All Time

From OWH (12/29):  "Rose Marie, cast member of 'Dick Van Dyke Show,' dies at 94. A family spokesman said Rose Marie, who played the wisecracking Sally Rogers on 'The Dick Van Dyke Show, 'has died. She was 94."  COMMENT:  I loved that show. I remember watching it with the rest of our family back in the day. And I still occasionally watch reruns on Netflix. It ranks as one of the greatest TV situation comedies of all times [in my humble opinion]. 

Here is my ranking of the Top 5 Greatest Situation Comedies of All Time (in no particular order.)

• The Dick Van Dyke Show
• The Mary Tyler Moore Show
• The Bob Newhart Show, 1972-78 *
• Newhart, 1982-90 *
• Police Squad
• Honorable Mention:  The Carol Burnett Show. She gets an honorable mention but doesn't make the list because technically this was a comedy-variety show.

* According to a Handel family history which my Uncle Harold shared w/me, the Handel's--my mom's side of the family--are distantly related to Bob Newhart.

And Now a Word from Planned Parenthood *

OWH (12/29):  "Planned Parenthood unveils new license plate. The option, for an extra $70, is a response to the 'Choose Life' design approved by Legislature. Nebraskans can now have a 'My Body, My Choice' license plate on their cards. Planned Parenthood of the Heartland unveiled the new blue & pink license plate on THU & announced that it was available to the public."  COMMENT:  Believe or not, I don't have much of a problem with this. I just think that the label doesn't go far enough. How about "My Body, My Choice + I Choose Death." Maybe just "Choose Death." Or "Planned Parenthood:  The #1 Provider of Abortions in America." And I also think it's cute that the colors are blue for little unborn boys who have been killed, & pink is the color for little unborn girls who have been killed.
* In case you're wondering, I chose red, the color of bleeding. **
** Of COURSE, there is virtually 0% chance of any uncontrolled bleeding as a by-product of this safe medical procedure that the abortion industry fights tooth & nail to avoid regulations that are required of other medical procedures.

Ebullient Christmas News & Comment + Iowanians Are Special

Christmas News + Reminiscence + Thoughts

From Omaha World Herald (12/25):  "City hopes 177-ft stocking sets record. A Missouri city has unveiled a Christmas stocking it hopes will make the cut for the world's largest. Sedalia's red-and-white stocking was officially measured last week as 177 ft. tall for entry with Guinness World Records. The city is trying to beat a record set by the Italian city of Carrara in 2011."  COMMENT:  I grew up in Concordia, MO, about 40 mi. north & west of Sedalia. I made visits to the Missouri State Fair in Sedalia a couple of times, thanks to the transportation services of my Class of '71 classmate & fellow Concordian Mike Flandermeyer. One summer we took in the free grandstand show, & it was standing room only for the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. They warmed up the crowd for the Jackson 5 [when Michael Jackson was still cute]. When the Dirt Band left the stage & the Jackson 5 burst out, people--including us--left the grandstand in droves.

OWH (12/25):  "1,400 Nativity scenes fill woman's home. Each DEC, Shirley Squires transforms her modest Vermont home into a veritable creche museum, with more than 1,400 miniature Nativity scenes of Jesus, Mary & Joseph covering every surface, taking over 2 bedrooms & overflowing into a specially built room in her garage."  COMMENT:  According to an unverified source, one Nativity creche is controversial. Instead of the 3 wise men, it features Larry, Daryl, & his other brother Daryl.

Christmas 1982

Our oldest son Nathan was born on 11/5/82. We traveled from Lincoln, NE, to Ulysses, KS, for Christmas that year. There was no Christmas Eve service at their church in Ulysses, so we had our own, homemade Christmas Eve service in their home. * On Christmas morning we drove 50 miles to Springfield, KS, for the nearest Christmas Day service. The roads were treacherous. Lois, Nathan, & I, her dad & mom, David, Anita, & John made up 50% of the worshippers that morning. As I remember it, we took up a pew or 2 in the rear of the sanctuary. The rest took up 1 or 2 pews in the front.
* No, there were no LCMS ordained ministers present, just 2 commissioned ministers. Although I led the "service," I didn't preach. And we omitted Communion.

"Christmas 2017:  "Where is God in today's world?"

OWH (12/25):  "The vital center of Christianity is that I did not enter God's world; in shocking humility, He entered mine--and that is an eternally significant truth. No wonder that a choir of innumerable angels broke out in rapturous, spontaneous song that Christmas morning, frightening a few shepherds but shaking the entire universe. Christmas challenges us to consider that there is something transcendent, eternal & greater than we are; it is about the Lord of 2 worlds--the material & the spiritual--descending to live, for a season, by the rules of the one, so that He could resolve its dysfunction, disharmony & discord." (Column by James Eckman, president emeritus of Grace University in Omaha)

There Is No Place Like . . . Iowa: 

•  "A solution to Miami's peacock problem? Send them to Iowa. The solution to Miami's polarizing peacock problem could be a man known as Mr. Peacock, who has generously offered to adopt the unwanted birds at his 4-acre farm in IA corn country." (OWH 11/3) COMMENT:  Just what Iowanians needed . . . a flamingo feedlot.
• "A snack only the Internet could love. ISU student pressed cheese into service in vile sandwich that went viral. College students are known for low standards when it comes to food. Think ramen & frozen pizza. But a student at Iowa State University came up w/a combo that has nauseated the Internet.Sophomore Chris Jorgensen tweeted a photo of a slice of melty processed American cheese between 2 strawberry Pop-Tart-like pastries w/the caption:  'You ain't from IA if you never had one of these." (OWH 11/16) COMMENT:  I can neither confirm nor deny that this exotic pastry will be one of the ebullient food items premiered at the Iowa State Fair next summer.

The Pope & I Agree on Something

From OWH (11/11):  "Pope:  Lift up your heart, not your cellphone, during worship. Pope Francis is calling on Catholics to put down their cellphones during worship which, he said, should be a time for prayer & not for taking photos. That means priests & bishops, too, he said. 'This is a bad thing,' he said during his weekly general audience on WED at St. Peter's Square in Vatican City." COMMENT:  I've searched in vain for a similar pronouncement made by our LCMS President at the Purple Palace in St. Louis.

An ebullient blog entry

COMFORT DOGS + PIZZA HUT COMES THROUGH + GUILTLESS CHRISTMAS-GOODY EATING

Christmas Cheer

From Parade Magazine (11/26):  "Lutheran Church Charities, based in Illinois, sends trained K-9 Comfort Dogs wherever they're most needed. The dogs recently brought comfort & compassion to victims' families, first responders & the community after Hurricane Harvey & after the Las Vegas & Sutherland Springs, TX, shootings."  COMMENT:  Our friends from Concordia Seward brought a comfort dog to help our faculty & staff "process" our first student suicide at LHNE. It was a blessing to us.

From USA Today (12/6):  "Pizza Hut Begins Testing Delivery of Wine, Beer. Pizza Hut on TUE started testing beer delivery in Phoenix & plans to add wine in JAN. The pizza chain hopes to expand alcohol delivery to other markets next year." COMMENT:  This can only be good news for my daughter Sarah, who is a therapist specializing in alcohol & other addictions.

From Omaha World Herald (12/7):  "It's OK to fudge [Mmmm. Fudge.] on diet choices for the holidays. Every year around holiday time, there's an influx of articles about how to stick to your healthy eating goals & resist temptation. That advice is practical, but it focuses too much on what not to do . . . Here are 9 things to tell yourself this year so that you can enjoy family, friends & food. [MY comments follow where relevant.]

1. "I deserve to enjoy holiday meals w/o guilt. I STOPPED FEELING GUILTY ABOUT HOLIDAY MEALS IN 1977.
2. "What I eat every day matters most.  
3. "I have the power to control my portions. HA HA HA HA!
4. "I have the right to say 'no thank you' when I'm full.
5. "It's normal if I overindulge during the holidays. WHY SHOULD I TREAT HOLIDAYS ANY DIFFERENT THAN ORDINARY DAYS?
6. "I will eat when I'm hungry, not when I'm feeling emotional.  WHAT IF I'M FEELING EMOTIONAL ALL THE TIME?
7. "I don't need to 'healthify' my beloved holiday recipe. DOES THAT MEAN I DON'T HAVE TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT ADDING SPUMANTE TO ORANGE JUICE FOR HOLIDAY MIMOSAS?
8. "I promise not to comment on the size, shape or weight of my friends & relatives.  MY MOM NEVER HESITATED TO COMMENT ON MY SIZE, SHAPE, & WEIGHT. I KNOW . . . THIS WAS TOTALLY OUT OF CHARACTER FOR MY MOM.
9. "I will enjoy quality time w/people I love." * ESPECIALLY WHILE WE WAIT FOR PIZZA HUT TO DELIVER OUR BEER & PIZZA.

* NOTE:  This list is definitive, because it comes from registered dietitian Cara Rosenbloom, president of Words to Eat By, a nutrition communications company.

OWH (12/9):  "Dreaming of a white poinsettia? In the weeks leading up to Christmas, one plant seems to come out of the woodwork to redefine the whole festive landscape. The red & green poinsettia is as timeless as Bing Crosby crooning 'White Christmas,' though the appearance of more than 30 million plants is anything but automatic. Since the spring, skilled but nervous growers across the land have been raising one of their most economically important & finicky, crops . . . As recently as 20 years ago or so, poinsettias were seen as the plant you hoped would not break apart or drop most of its leaves before Santa arrived. But over the past 2-3 years, consumers have seen a conspicuous shift in the look of the poinsettias. The classic ebullient [Ebullient: "Overflowing w/fervor, enthusiasm, or excitement; high-spirited." dictionary.com I need to incorporate this word into my ebullient vocabulary.] poinsettias still predominate, especially the reds, but you may notice some curiously different plants . . . The range of varieties is still limited--more are in the works--but already they are available in both soft & vivid pinks, the latter w/neon glow. They're so hot, they're cool. Another significant color shift is in a white variety named Princettia Pure White. It is a clear bone white, unlike the creamy whites of other poinsettias. It is a tint that poinsettia breeders have been chasing for decades . . . "  COMMENT:  

• I forgot to order a Christmas poinsettia this year, so our holiday feels impoverished. 
• We would order a poinsettia in Hawaii, & we could plant it outside after we brought it home from church. 
• Contrary to popular belief, dogs won't die from eating poinsettia leaves. Darn it.
• It's a well-known, well, somewhat well-known, well, actually a little known fact that the wise men brought poinsettias--RED poinsettias--as gifts for Jesus, along w/their gold, frankincense & myrrh.

Conversations w/Grand-Kids

Lois:  "Papa will play Sorry with us tonight, but there will be no whining if the game's not going your way."  Hadley: "I took it easy on you last night, because you're old."

Dept. of Shameless Anecdote Stealing

From Reader's Digest (Oct '17):  "Our 2-year-old, Tess, was sitting quietly in church one Sunday when she became mesmerized by a balding man seated in front of her. Her curiosity got the better of her, & she shouted for all to hear, 'Why is that man's head coming out of his hair?'"

Today Is Christmas.....The 2nd Day of Christmas.....The Birth of the Joy of All the Earth!

Today, Today Is Christmas!

Today is Christmas . . . Today . . . That's right . . . December 25 . . . The 2nd day of the Church's Christmas & Epiphany season . . . The [hopeful] end of the mad rush that characterizes the time between Black Friday--not to be confused with Good Friday--& last night or this morning's opening of presents.

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DIGRESSION #1:  Did you get what you hoped for? Did those who received your gifts thank you profusely? I'm writing this on SUN 12/24, so it's not official yet, but I'm reasonably sure that I will NOT be receiving the Top 3 Items on my wish list. Those would be (1) A chainsaw. (2) An axe. (3) A Glock pistol. [I desire the first two in order to keep up better w/my yardwork, which includes 4 majestic pines. The 3rd one? I just wanna be like my heroes on NCIS. Plus target practice would inevitably help me cope w/my anxiety.
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DIGRESSION #2:  Today is also the 2nd day of the 12 days of Christmas. "On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me two turtle doves . . . " There's an excellent chance that when Mary & Joseph took their infant Son to the Temple in Jerusalem in order to name Him Jesus ["One who saves"], to have Him circumcised, which was proscribed for all Jewish male children on the 8th day after their birth, & to ransom Him, because He was their firstborn, with the sacrifice of two doves. [I'm 99% positive that it was 2 doves. They were too poor to afford a lamb. I'm 79% certain that this is an overly long & convoluted sentence. English majors? Please excuse me for writing like this is MY blog.]
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In today's cult of celebrity, the birth of a Messiah--one "anointed" by His Father to save His people from their sins--might kick into gear the 24/7 news cycle. Reporters from major networks would rush to the manger, each hoping to get an exclusive interview. Tabloids would rush to the scene in order to be the first to publicize His birth & publish exclusive pictures. We'd declare Dec. 25 to be a holiday! [Actually, Christmas Day is a federal holiday, so "Merry Christmas," which sounds to much better & rings of integrity than "Happy Holidays."]

Read the account of Jesus' birth in Luke Chapter 2, & you will remember or discover that the birth of the Savior of humankind was anything BUT the spectacle that today's culture would expect. 

• He was born in a backwater town, not in the royal capital. 
• He was born to a teenage mother. 
• An unwed mother. 
• He was born in an animal shelter & placed in a feeding trough on straw. 
• He was born into a human family of peasants. 
• His birth was announced to shepherds--not exactly the cream of the cultural crop in those days--who also became the first after Joseph & Mary to view the Messiah who was born--BORN!--a human baby.

What does it mean to be a human infant? It means you dirty your "swaddling cloths." It means you cry when your diaper is wet & dirty. You cry when you're hungry. You shiver in the cold. You learn to talk by listening to your earthly parents babble baby-talk to you. You learn to walk. And you take your share of tumbles, just like we all did.

And yet . . . AND YET . . . 

Prayers & Praise from Some of My Favorite Christmas Hymns

""'To you this night is born a Child Of Mary, chosen virgin mild;
This little child of lowly birth Shall Be the Joy of All the Earth.'" *

"How silently, how silently The wondrous gift is giv'n!
So God imparts to human hearts The blessings of His heav'n.
No ear may hear His coming; But in this world of sin,
Where meek souls will receive Him still The dear Christ enters in." **

"Silent night, holy night! All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child. Holy Infant, so tender and mild,
Sleep in heavenly peace, Sleep in heavenly peace." ***

"Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, 
The little Lord Jesus laid down His sweet head.
The stars in the sky look down where He lay,
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay." ****

"Gentle Mary laid her child Lowly in a manger;
There He lay, the Undefiled To the world a stranger.
Such a babe in such a place, Can He be the Savior?
Ask the saved of all the race Who have found His favor.

"Gentle Mary laid her child Lowly in a manger;
He is still the Undefiled But no more a stranger.
Son of God of humble birth, Beautiful the story;
Praise His name in all the earth; Hail the King of glory!" *****

* Sources:  "From Heaven Above to Earth I Come," St. 2, Lutheran Service Book #358.  ** "O Little Town of Bethlehem," St. 3, LSB #361.  *** "Silent Night, Holy Night," St. 1, LSB #363.  **** "Away in a Manger," St. 1, LSB #364.  ***** "Gentle Mary Laid Her Child," St. 1 & 3, LSB #374.

Happy Advent! + Merry Christmas!

A Meditation for the End of Advent + the Beginning of Christmas

It's the 4th Sunday of Advent. Today marks the end of the Advent season. The word "advent" means "the beginning." The season of Advent, which includes 4 Sundays, including today, has traditionally been a time in the Church Year when we prepare for the coming of our Lord & Savior Jesus Christ.

But Jesus has already come! Tonight is also Christmas Eve, which marks the beginning of the Christmas/Epiphany season on Church calendars. Christmas Eve doesn't fall on the 4th Sunday every year. This year it happens. We are invited to celebrate both an Advent & the fulfillment of advent promises.

What what do we prepare for if Jesus has already come? A favorite word in Advent is "Immanuel." The OT prophet Isaiah, writing hundreds of years before the birth of Jesus, proclaimed, "Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign. The virgin will conceive and give birth to a Son, and will call Him Immanuel." (Isaiah 7:14)

Whoa! Two miraculous facts were prophesied & came true! Mary the mother of Jesus was a virgin when God's Son was conceived in her womb by the power of the Holy Spirit. AND, although Jesus' given name was, well, Jesus, meaning, "He Who saves," He also was & is known as Immanuel.

Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit, as we confess in the Creeds. He was the sinless Son of God but became Immanuel, "God with Us," when He was born a lowly human being. But not a poor, SINFUL, human being.

God's Son was & is Immanuel. He was born into a world of human beings. He lived the life of a human being--but He also lived a life of holy, perfect obedience to His Father. He died the death that we should have died. He took upon Himself the sin & guilt of all humankind from Adam & Eve until the end of time. He was raised from the dead--proof that His Father--"Our Father who art in heaven"--found His sacrifice acceptable.

And Jesus ascended into heaven 40 days after He rose from the dead on that 1st Easter Sunday, but He is still Immanuel, because He is God with us through all the mucky swamps of this life. He didn't just ascend to heaven, congratulate Himself on a job well done, & wipe His hands clean of our sins.

He promised "Lo, I am with you always even to the end of the Age." That's a promise revealed to us in the very last verses of the Gospel of Matthew.

Today we can celebrate the end of Advent. We can celebrate because we know that Jesus has come. He is our Immanuel. Oh, yeah . . . I almost forgot. He will come again & take His sons & daughters, all believers, to live with Him eternally in heaven. We've been preparing for His 2nd Coming, too.

We can also celebrate Christmas Eve & the beginning of the Christmas season today. "For to us a Child is born, to us a Son is given, and the government will be on His shoulders. And He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of His government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David's throne and over His kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from time on and forever. The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this." (Isaiah 9:6-7).

Prayers from Two of My Favorite Hymns

"O come, O come, Emmanuel, And ransom captive Israel, 
That mourns in lonely in lonely exile here Until the Son of God appear.
Rejoice! Rejoice! Emmanuel Shall come to thee, O Israel." *

"Welcome to earth, O noble Guest, Through whom the sinful world is blest!
You came to share my misery That You might share Your joy with me.

"Ah, Lord, though You created all, How weak You are, so poor and small,
That You should choose to lay Your head Where lowly cattle lately fed.

"Ah, dearest Jesus, holy Child, Prepare a bed, soft, undefiled,
A quiet chamber set apart For You to dwell within my heart. **

* Source:  "O Come, O Come, Emmanuel," St. 1, Lutheran Service Book #357
** Source:  "From Heaven Above to Earth I Come," St. 8, 9, 13, LSB #358.

Christmas Cheer

Emoji Mirth + Scofflaw Parrots + Wandering Cows + "In the beginning"

Dept. of Shameless Joke Stealing

From Omaha World Herald, Breaking Brad by Brad Dickson (12/12):  "I saw a bell ringer with a kettle outside an Omaha store. Turns out he was collecting money to help pay off all the former coaches & athletic directors that the University of Nebraska owes." COMMENT:  You might need to be a Cornhusker FB fan to fully appreciate this humor.

From Reader's Digest, Life in These United States, (Oct '17):  "My mom sent me a text that said 'I love you,' & she ended with a poop emoji. I asked why she added the emoji. She said, 'I thought it was a Hershey's Kiss."  COMMENT:  There is a poop emoji?

Christmas Cheer *

* Or "Holiday" Cheer for those of you who may be offended for labeling a national holiday as "Christmas" . . . Wait . . . What?

NDN (11/8):  "911 call for parrot. A deliveryman in Oregon who heard a woman's screams for help had his wife call 911, but when a deputy showed up it turned out the screamer was a parrot, not a woman. It was reported that when Clackamas County Sheriff's Deputy Hayden Sanders showed up, all he found was Diego the Parrot. The green & yellow bird was in good health & no humans were involved."  

From Omaha World Herald (11/20):  "Boy returns lost wallet w/$1,700 inside. An 8-yr-old upstate New York boy is being applauded after finding a crime victim's cash-filled wallet in NYC & returning it to the man. When Frankie Burns found the wallet w/$1,700 inside, he didn't hesitate to take it to his father. Using an ID card inside the wallet, the family was able to find its owner from the hospital after a mugging."

OWH (11/27):  "Money pours in to help homeless Samaritan. A fund set up to raise money for a homeless man who helped a woman when her car ran out of gas in Philadelphia has collected more than $350,00. The GoFundMe campaign was started by Bordentown, NJ, resident Kate McClure this month after she was stuck along I-95, & Johnny Bobbitt, Jr. bought her some gas w/his last $20. McClure said she didn't have money to pay him back but she returned to his spot several times in the following days to give him cash, clothes & food. She said she then started the fundraiser, hoping to collect $10,000 to cover his housing & other expenses for him. McClure said she wishes she 'could do more for this selfless man.'"  COMMENT:  The UNL owes several former coaches & a former A.D. over $14 million in settlement payments. How about a GoFundMe account for these expenses, along w/buying out Scott Frost's contract at UCF & signing him to a multi-million $$ contract to coach our FB team? 

NDN (12/15):  "Holy cow! Wandering bovine returned to Philly nativity scene. A cow in Philadelphia apparently wanted to be away from the manger, as it escaped twice THU morning from a church's live nativity scene. Story, a 7-yr-old brown & white Hereford, was back munching hay at Old First Reformed Church of Christ by 7:15a, after 2 sets of adventures on snowy downtown streets. Police got reports of a cow near an I-95 ramp around 2:00a, THU . . . Officers put a lead rope on the cow & walked her to a nearby parking lot w/police vehicles helping shepherd Stormy back to church. But for Stormy, all was not calm & bright. She fled again around 6:00a, despite Rev. Michael Caine's best efforts to stop the 1,500 lb. animal. She then ambled toward a major thoroughfare as the morning rush got underway . . . This time, the bovine was tracked down on the 4th floor of a parking garage about a block south of the church . . . "  COMMENT #1:  Both P.E.T.M.C. * & AFSCB ** have called for the FBI to investigate. COMMENT #2:  Maybe this was a Lutheran cow?
* People for the Ethical Treatment of Manger Cows"
** Americans for the Separation of Church & Bovines

From USA Today, State-By-State (12/6):  "Maryland Baltimore:  A Johns Hopkins University physics profession will share in a $3 million prize for research on the universe's origin."  COMMENT:  To put that in perspective, that would work out to $1 million for each of the first 3 chapters of Genesis.

More Criminal Minds

TUE 12/19 . Trouble in Paradise + Flatulent Criminal + What About MY Constitutional Rights? + Squirrels Who HAVE No Constitutional Rights

From the Omaha World Herald

OWH (10/27):  "Pedestrians looking at phones may see fines. Of all the beautiful scenery to see in Honolulu, city officials want to make sure residents & tourists get a good look at the street. Honolulu this week became the largest city in the US. to make it illegal for pedestrians to look at cellphones, tablets or video games while crossing a road or highway. A 1st offense carries a fine of between $15-$35." MY COMMENT:  We don't want wealthy tourists walking obliviously into the criminal element in Waikiki.

OWH (11/11):  "Police:  Suspect's overwhelming gas shuts down interrogation. A police interrogation of a Kansas City man charged with drug & gun offenses ended prematurely when an investigator was driven from the room by the suspect's excessive flatulence. A detective reported that when asked for his address, 24-yr-old Sean Sykes Jr. 'leaned to one side of his chair & released a loud fart before answering.' Sykes 'continued to be flatulent' & the detective was forced to quickly end the interview . . . '"
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SPECIAL BLOG AFFICIONADO BONUS! 

From the Norfolk Daily News (10/27): "Benefits of eating beans include cost, health factor, versatility. Besides the fact that this is bean harvest season, it's a good time to think about incorporating this highly nutritious & health-promoting food into our meal plans . . . About the 'other' issue . . . ' According to the Nebraska Dry Bean Growers Association, when undigested carbohydrates in beans reach the large intestine, they are fermented by bacteria & form gas. But the more we eat beans, the less frequent these side effects become . . . "

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And thus the case of Sykes v. KC Police Dept. begins to wend its way toward an inevitable showdown with the Supreme Court, based on the "Flatulent but Healthy" defense.

OWH (11/8):  "More states cracking down on slowpokes in left lane. From stricter laws to public service campaigns & pleading electronic road signs, states have a message for the drivers clogging the inside lanes of the nation's highways:  Get the heck out of the way! Few things infuriate drivers more than a car or truck in a highway's left lane that isn't keeping up w/the flow of traffic . . . "  MY COMMENT:  (1) I turn 65 in JAN. I will have been driving since I turned 16. I feel that I am entitled to drive slow, regardless of what lane I'm in. (2) Truck drivers are infuriated? Oh, boo hoo hoo! I am infuriated when a semi driving above the speed limit comes barreling to within inches of my back bumper! *
* Note from LCSBL Consultants:  There is no specific mention of semi drivers being infuriated. Obviously this blogger has issues.

OWH (12/11):  "Squirrel pilfers goodies left for delivery people. An obese squirrel was caught stealing gourmet chocolate & lip balm that a family leaves outside as a holiday treat for delivery people . . . The thief seemed to be targeting the priciest stuff, including about 25 squares of Ghirardelli chocolate . . . The family set up a surveillance camera & spotted the varmint standing on a step stool, digging through the stash. Her family has devised the perfect solution to the problem. 'We now have our chocolate in a jar that requires opposable thumbs' (said the victim). She also put a bowl of treats out for the squirrel, full of walnuts, popcorn & pumpkin seeds. The rotund rodent showed his pickiness yet again . . . 'He threw all the seeds out on the porch & ate all the other stuff . . . '"  MY COMMENT;  In my experience with criminally-minded squirrels, which is considerable, they are incorrigible, felonious rodents. Nothing will stop this nefarious creature until he is trapped & force-fed kale. *
* A flaw in my plan . . . This would no doubt draw the enmity of the PETOS **.
** People for the Ethical Treatment of Obese Squirrels

From USA Today State-By-State (12/6):  

• London, KY. "Authorities say a Laurel County homeowner who came downstairs to find out why his dog was barking found a stranger in his kitchen eating ice cream."  MY COMMENT:  No word as to whether the intruder also had severe flatulence.
• Reno, NV. "Police say a woman was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving after driving the wrong way, dancing atop her SUV & attempting to flee on a kid's scooter."  MY COMMENT:  No word as to whether an Elf-on-the-Shelf witnessed this debacle.
• Provo, UT.  "Authorities say a man faces a charge of 2nd-degree felony robbery in a hotel stick-up that yield a dollar . . . "  [But officer, I needed cash for a can of beans!]

Mental Health MON + More!

Grand-Kids are the best...So is Nebraska...Going Mental Instead of Postal

Things That Cause Joy *

* Or at least much happiness

Conversations w/Grand-Children . . . A Recurring Theme

This conversation was reported by my daughter Rachel to my wife Lois. Rachel called to tell Lois that Bentley, our 4-year-old grandson, would be singing in church this SUN 12/17.

• Rachel:  "What song are you going to sing?"
• Bentley:  "A B C D E F G . . . "

There Is No Place Like Nebraska

On SAT 12/16, the Lady Husker VB team obliterated the University of FL, 3-1, to win a 5th national championship. I think this ties the VB program with the FB program for total # of national championships. [I don't want to sound patronizing to my Floridian relatives.] *
* Who Am I kidding? I don't really care. **
** Apathy, a symptom of depression. SEE comments that follow. 

Time with Grand-Children

• On FRI 12/15, Lois & i were privileged to attend Hadley's (2nd grade) Christmas program at Trinity Lincoln. The children sang with gusto!
• I am looking forward to Brianna's (8th grade) Christmas concert at Lincoln Lutheran tonite (12/18).

Things That Cause Distress *

* This list is obviously longer. I'm pretty sure that I've had a relapse re:  my clinical depression & diagnosed anxiety disorder. [SEE comments below.] You've been warned.

Mental Health Update

Last March (2017) I felt that I was at a mental health high point. I officially retired from Lutheran High Northeast. I felt a large degree of closure. I felt great about writing for Orphan Grain Train . . . Then things started to go downhill.

• I had a recurrence of cluster headaches in the spring. [I've had cluster headaches off & on for probably at least 15 years. [Google cluster headaches to find out my I loathe them & why they are especially "deadly" from those suffering from depression & anxiety.]
• Not long after that I began suffering symptoms that were obvious to both me & those close who spent time. These symptoms could have been neurological-related. They could have been related to the side effects of some(?) of my medications.
• My neurologist had increased one of my medications in the spring when I just couldn't seem to shake my cluster headaches.
• After running me through a series of neurological tests, he was confident that my symptoms were NOT the result of neurological issues. He was pretty confident that the symptoms were the result of the increased dosage of a medication which he had prescribed last spring at double the dosage.
• After tapering off this medication, I also had my psychiatric nurse provider eliminate and/or lower the dosages of some of my psychotropic medications.
• There was gradual improvement, & by early this fall I could see improvements that were also obvious to those around me.
• Unfortunately, cluster headaches returned to plague me in the fall, which resulted in my neurologist adding a daily dose of a medication normally used only at the onset of a headache.
• Also unfortunately, over the course of the last 6-8 weeks, I have had a relapse, experiencing many of the same symptoms as before.
• Within the last 2 weeks or so, I have experienced some of the same neurological symptoms that I had experienced before.

I see my nurse provider this WED 12/20. Next month I will head to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester for the Executive Health Program. 

• I participated in this program some years ago. 
• I will have an appointment with a Mayo neurologist. 
• I will also have an appointment with a Mayo pharmacologist.

Just a Reminder:  One of the reasons that I blog is the mental health benefit that I get from writing. Today's entry has the feel of self-therapy & not a solicitation of advice or information which might help others. *

* HOWEVER, I always welcome your feedback, suggestions, questions, etc.

Political TUE on MON

I try & try & try, & then . . . I try some more. Browsing for partisan content, whether in print or Internet media, is not necessarily helpful for my mental health. Still, those on BOTH sides of the political spectrum keep trying to provoke an end to my silence.

• Seriously? After 8 years of B.O. adding to our national deficit w/nary a word of protest from those on the "progressive" side, now the Democrats are concerned w/a tax plan that adds to our deficit? 
• Allegations of sexual misconduct will continue to come out. And they will point to "celebrities" on BOTH sides of the political spectrum. 
• However, it's distressing to me that the following "game" keeps being played . . . BY both sides.

Right side:  Ha! One of yours got caught red-handed!
Left side:  Ha! Ha! One of yours got caught more red-handed-er!
Right:  Oh, yeah? Well, your guy got caught first!
Left:  Oh, yeah? Well, your guy got caught WORSE!
Right:  Oh, yeah? [Ad infinitum.]
Left:  Yeah? [Ad infinitum.] *
* Now that I've read over this conversation several times, I'm finding it not very witty. However, I put too much time & effort into it to delete it. And it's my blog, remember?

This reminds me of the excuse that our children used to give when confronted w/bad behavior.

• "Why should I be punished when _______ (fill in the blank) did the same thing & didn't get punished."
• "Because you are responsible for your own behavior, & it doesn't matter whether ___________ got caught or punished."

One last political note aimed at one side of the political spectrum. Why do a former president (BC) & his spouse, SWSNBN *, seem to be above the law for just about everything, weather it's sexual misconduct, collusion, etc.?
* She Who Shall Not Be Named **
** In my defense, I have not used this sobriquet at all--to the best of my memory [which is always a shaky endeavor] since the November election.

I Miss My Dad

TUE 12/19 will be or would have been my father's 91st birthday. I rejoice that he is in heaven with our Lord & Savior. It still saddens me that he died in 2007, w/o ever meeting 3 of our grand-kids. I'm glad that he & Mom got acquainted w/our youngest grand-daughter & really looked forward to our visits w/her.

SPECIAL DELUXE EDITION: CRIMINAL MINDS

Hair Thefts + Thank You Notes + Silly Get-Aways + Silly, No Stupid Kidnappers + No Sense of Humor + Dogs Aren't that Smart, Says Captain Obvious

From Norfolk Daily News (10/24):  "Braid-chopping bandits have Kashmiris in panic. Hundreds of young men--armed w/knives, cricket bats & iron rods--patrol the nighttime streets of India-controlled Kashmir these days, hoping their ad-hoc vigilante groups will deter the mysterious bandits reportedly chopping off women's long, woven hair . . . The suspicion that women could be imagining the attacks grew stronger once the attacks spread to Kashmir, where the territorial conflict had caused widespread psychological trauma & other issues such as suicidal tendencies . . . While health experts dismissed the idea that women were imagining the attacks, pending scientific verification, they warned that the braid banditry could push an already edgy population further to the brink . . . " MY COMMENT:  I included this excerpt, not because I thought it was funny, but because it met my criteria for really weird news.

Ditto (10/30):  "Man ordered to write nice things about ex. A judge on the Hawaiian island of Maui has handed down an unorthodox sentence to a man who pleaded no contest to violating a protection order preventing him from contacting his ex-girl-friend. Judge Rhonda Loo ordered Daren Young on FRI to write 144 compliments about his ex-girlfriend, in response to the 144 'nasty' text messages & calls that he is accused of sending her . . . "  MY COMMENT:  Once again, I'm not saying this is funny--at least for the ex-girlfriend. I'm questioning whether the punishment goes too far enough. My concern is that this type of male cretin * may not have an adequate mental capacity of compliments w/o becoming repetitive . . . AND wouldn't these compliments be somewhat lacking in ardor?
* There are a few of us that fall into this category, bit I represent the vast majority of men who are consistently kind, sensitive, all-around good people.

Ditto (11/10):  "Slow get-away. A man accused of stealing a motorized shopping cart from an Alaska grocery store didn't get very far or go very fast before his low-speed attempt was foiled by police. The battery-operated cart w/a basket mounted behind the handlebars has a top speed of 1.9 mph . . . Police said they stopped (the suspect) while he was crossing a thoroughfare following a 10-minute joyride that consisted mostly of trying to leave the expansive store parking lot."  MY COMMENT:  I can neither confirm nor deny that Democrats blamed DT for creating the conditions leading to this nefarious escapade. According to an unnamed but not necessarily reliable source, "You'd find yourself resorting to these joyrides, too, if you were stressed over DT's rumored plans to sell Alaska back to Russia to help solve our trillion plus dollars deficit."

Ditto:  "Kidnapping foiled. Police arriving at a car crash in western Canada found five naked people inside, & ended up accusing them of kidnapping a mother, her father & her baby . . . While the car was being driven, the adult male, who was in the trunk, managed to escape. Shortly after that the woman escaped with the baby . . . Officials said they believe drugs or alcohol might have been a factor."  MY COMMENT:  Did it take CSI:  Alberta to figure out the drugs or alcohol factor?

Ditto (10/11):  Horn stuck. A St. Louis man is feeling pretty miffed over a recent traffic ticket. Scott Smith said he was ticketed for honking his horn at a police offer. Smith told the St. Louis Post-Dispatch that he repeatedly honked at the officer in an unmarked car because the light had turned green & the officer wasn't moving. He was pulled over & used his cellphone to record the heated exchange. The officer asked Smith if his horn was struck to which Smith replied, 'Is your brake stuck?' Smith was ticketed for excessive noise from a vehicle. He plans to file a complaint."  MY COMMENT:  No disrespect intended, but seriously, wasn't the perpetrator's reply pretty funny?

Ditto (12/12):  "Pacifiers for lunch. An Oklahoma mother & father couldn't figure out what was happening to their child's pacifiers until the baby's grandmother saw the family dog swipe one off a counter. One nauseous pooch & a trip to their veterinarians's office confirmed the couple's hunch:  Dovey had 21 pacifiers lodged in her stomach . . . The veterinarian cautioned pet owners that 'dogs will eat anything, anytime & at any age.'"  MY COMMENT:  This could explain Sammy's [Lois' dog] frequent bouts of slow eating & vomiting in the last month, ever since I lost one of my tackle boxes.

This is a Cornhusker Blog Lite that's on the "lit-er" side.

Another Grand-Kid Highlight + Santa Claus + Southern Chivalry

Grand-Kids Are the Best

Here is a conversation between our 4-year-old grandson Bentley [Rachel, my daughter, & Derek are his parents.] It was reported to Lois by one of Bentley's pre-school teachers. She reported it to me. I cannot swear * to the exact verbiage, but on MY blog that's not a huge concern. His teacher was trying to help Bentley memorize his part in the upcoming Christ Lutheran Pre-school Christmas program.
Teacher:  "There was no room in the inn." Now you say it, Bentley.
Bentley:  [After frowning & counting on his fingers] I have 8 rooms! **
* I don't swear anyway. Seriously! Ask those who know me.
** The Broders' clan recently moved into a new house. Apparently, according to Bentley's calculation, there are 8 rooms in the house. ***
*** Bentley also obviously wants to help Mary & Joseph & baby Jesus.

Dept. of Shameless Joke Appropriations

From Norfolk Daily News TV Week, late laughs (10/27):  "Archaeologists believe they have found the tomb of St. Nicholas beneath an ancient church in Turkey. St. Nicholas, of course, is the basis for the legend of Santa Claus. And they think they found him. Which means now when my son asks me if Santa is real, I can confidently say, 'Yes! He is dead, though. That's why you didn't get that bike.'" James Corden *
* I am very sorry if I inadvertently spoiled your belief in Santa Claus.

From Omaha World Herald, Breaking Brad by Brad Dickson (10/29):  "An Italian soccer player was suspended 5 games for urinating on fans. This raises the question:  what do you have to do to be suspended for 10 games?" [As qualifies as "There Is No Place Like Italy."]

Ditto (11/15):  "Nebraska employs a cougar-tracking dog that spends all day sniffing poop. That sounds a lot like being a sportswriter who covers the Husker FB team this season."

Also by Brad Dickson in OWH (11/8):  "I'm also told that curling is growing in popularity in the US & is possibly becoming somewhat popular with millennials. How could a group whose lives revolve around avocado toast, fidget spinners & scaling buildings in search of the Pokemon rat creature be wrong?"  [It's been awhile since I took a jab at millennials. I'm sorry IF I've offended you. You know who you are.]

From Reader's Digest, Life in These United States (10/17):  "As any Southerner knows, there's nothing like a backhanded compliment from a proper southern lady Her are some favorites from the Alabama-based website al.com. Y'all feel free to borrow them:

• "I just love how you don't care what people think. That takes a special person.
• "I bet those shoes are comfortable.
• "After you tell her you lost 9 lbs: 'Well, that's a wonderful start.'
• "After you arrive for a visit: 'What'd you do, sugar, drive all the way here with the windows down?'
• "After you've cooked:  'That was good. I must have been hungry.'
• "I bought this the other day, but it's too big on me. Do you want it?"

An Advent Reflection

O Come, O Come, Immanuel

Advent Reflections, Part I

"We see the truth of the words of today's Old Testament Reading all around us. 'The grass withers, the flower fades (Isaiah 40:8).' The flowers of summer fade & fall as autumn arrives & gives way to winter. The car we saved up to purchase piles on mileage & begins to require costly repairs. The once-new wedding dress has yellowed with age. The things of this world wither & fade. But that's not the end of what the prophet Isaiah has to say: 'The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.' In our ever-changing fallen world, there is one thing that remains unchanged--God & His Word. Listen today to the unchanging promises of God for you, anchored in His Son, Jesus Christ, who is the same yesterday, today, & forever." SOURCE:  Grace Lutheran Church (Norfolk) Sunday bulletin, 12/10/17.

God's Word Speaks to Us

"Behold, the Lord God comes with might, and His arm rules for Him, and His recompense * before Him. He will tend His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms; He will carry them in His bosom, and gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:10-13

Advent Reflections, Part II

In light of a death in our extended family, our dear brother-in-law Paul, these thoughts resonate with me.

• "The grass withers, the flower fades." From the moment we are born, we walk a path that leads inevitably to death.
• "The things of this world wither & fade." It's an inevitable destiny for all things to eventually break down & degenerate.
• " . . . but the word of our God will stand forever." In the midst of all things that are fleeting, one anchor remains firm & unchanging--the Living Word.
• The Living Word comes to us in our Baptism. 
• He comes to us in Holy Scripture, & we are blessed by the Holy Spirit to read & absorb its Truth.
• He comes to us in His body & blood, in, with, & under the wine of Holy Communion.
• "He will tend His flock like a shepherd; He will gather the lambs in His arms . . . " He is the Good Shepherd, & His love for us--His vulnerable lambs--"will stand forever."
• In a world that burdens us with overwhelming sadness & eventual death, HE COMES! 
• He will come again to lead us to everlasting joy in Heaven. 
• HE COMES! He comes now to bring us consolation & the peace which is only possibly through Jesus Christ.

O Come, O Come, Immanuel, "God with us."

* According to Dictionary.com, a "recompense" is a "repayment or requital." Since we could not earn forgiveness & salvation based on our own good works, Jesus Christ became our recompense. His holy life, sacrificial death, & glorious requisition repaid our debt for our unholiness.

An Iowanian Road Trip Update + Frost Fever Continues Unabated + More

Road Trip & Blog Update

I think I reported in a recent blog that I would be taking a road trip, so I couldn't guarantee how well I could keep up my blog. I can only assume that the deafening silence which characterized my announcement was attributable to sorrow over my missing blogs. 

• I left Norfolk on TUE 12/5, spent the night in Des Moines, then continued on to Mark & Christy's on WED. [For those of you who don't know, Mark is my baby brother & Christy is his long suffering spouse.]
• My trip was uneventful. I had several opportunities to detour to historic sites, but I just didn't feel up to it.
• It's FRI 12/8, even as we "speak." Mark, who is a pastor, & Christy are attending a farewell shindig for a pastor who will be leaving after the 1st of the year to accept another call.
• I've been left behind to fend for myself. *
• I will try to summon the mental & physical energy to expand on my road trip adventures after I get back to Norfolk. **
• My departure will be sometime not too early tomorrow, SAT 12/9, so I will be back in Norfolk by mid- to late-afternoon.

* I don't want to give you the wrong impression about my beloved family members. I gave them my blessing & waited until I left before I started quietly sobbing at the thought that I'd have no one to share my endlessly plethora of entertaining story with." *** And, yes, I ended a sentence with a preposition. Wanna make something out of it?

** You welcome to draw your own conclusions about my lack of mental & physical energy. Maybe I'll elaborate in my next Mental Health MON blog. Maybe I won't.

*** Actually, that's a lie. I can share my stories w/their plucky little dog, Scrappy. Unlike his human compatriots, Scrappy is too polite to start yawning & rolling his eyes during my story-telling.

Scott Frost Update

The other day I included a succinct summary of the media firestorm re:  "our" * native son returning to coach the Cornhuskers. For the sake of my readers, I've continued to plow [plough?] thru a continued avalanche of SF & other related Big Red news.

* Although I haven't lived my whole life in Nebraska, I can claim native-born distinction, because I was born in Odell, NE, in January 1953. **

** My 3 children were also born in Nebraska at St. E's hospital in Lincoln, circa 1982, 1985, 1989. ***

*** My dear wife was born in Lexington, MO. Here distinction is being born in a town that was the site of a Civil War Battle. ****

**** Yes, you may have noticed by my birth month & year that I might be turning 65 next month. Speculate no further. I turn 65 on 1/7/18. And that's all I have to say about that at this time.

Where was I? Oh, yeah . . . Here's my latest summary of Scott Frost & Husker FB news.

• Scott Frost is still the new head coach of the Cornhuskers.
• Nebraska fans, both native-born & "camp followers," are still deliriously happy.
• I can neither confirm nor deny that Coach Frost was observed walking on the water of Branched Oak Lake, located just west of Lincoln.

Criminal Minds

Omaha World Herald, (12/5):  "Judge lets bikini baristas keep serving as legal case proceeds. A federal judge has ruled in favor of bikini baristas in Everett, WA, who sued the city over new dress code ordinances that ban bare skin. U.S. District Judge Marsha Pechman on MON extended an injunction that prevents the city from enforcing the two laws. The injunction means the coffee stands can continue to operate while the lawsuit filed by 7 baristas & the owner of a chain of coffee stands called Hillbilly Hotties makes its way through court . . . " COMMENT:  Don't get in the way of avid, Pacific Northwest coffee lovers & their favorite coffee stands. *
* I confess to being somewhat stumped about the new of this chain of coffee stands, given that the location is the progressive Northwest U.S.
USA Today State-By-State, (12/5):  "Campus police [in Ames, IA] arrested an Iowa State philosophy & religious studies lecturer who they say smelled of alcohol in his classroom." ["I swear, officer, it was the formaldehyde fumes drifting over from the anatomy lab.]
Ditto:  "Police say a former substitute teacher [in Somersworth, NH] encouraged middle school students to smoke pot & gave one student a vaping device." ["I swear, officer, I forgot that I was in New Hampshire, not Colorado!"]

Frost Alert + Adorable Grandkids + G.O.M.E.R. Returns + More

Frost Is Coming

I hate to brag [No, he doesn't. CBLCC * ], but I called it, didn't I? Like I said, I often figure things out that nobody else figures out. In any case, I'm assuming that many [most? all?] of my faithful blog followers would love some in-depth news & commentary re:  the Frost Saga. Rather than having to Google "Scott Frost Nebraska" & sift through a plethora of information, I have decided to spare you that ordeal & provide a succinct summary of the mostly likely several gigabytes of information you would encounter. Here's my summary.

• Scott Frost is the new Husker coach.
• Many [most? all?] Husker fans are happy & sleeping better. You're welcome. 

* Cornhusker Blog Lite Coordinating Committee

Conversations w/My Grandkids

I try to establish traditions w/my grandkids, you know, the kind of traditions we remember & savor from our own experiences w/our grand-parents. Bentley, age 4, & I have established a tradition when I drive him to & fro his daycare provider. Our conversation today is indicative. Here goes.
BENTLEY:  I see 'Merican' flags!
ME:  Let's count them.
TOGETHER:  One, two, three . . . thirteen.
ME:  Do you think we got them all?
BENTLEY:  We got them all. There are a lot of 'Merican flags in Norfolk.

G.O.M.E.R. *

• Just a few days ago I slipped a cash gift into the Salvation Army bell-ringer's kettle in front of Hy-Vee West. He responded with "Happy Holidays." I immediately followed with "Merry Christmas." He immediately replied, "Merry Christmas.
• Today (MON 12/4) the checker @ Hy-Vee West wished me "Happy Holidays." I was slow on the trigger & uttered a feeble, "You, too."
• That was my bad. It's flippin' Christmas for goodness sake! It's a national holiday, for Pete's sake! 
• However, I will say that I understand that these people are just following somebody's orders--misguided as those somebodies might be. I will also say that when I remember to reply, "Merry Christmas," I invariably receive a heart-felt "Merry Christmas" in return.

* Grumpy Old Men & Their Elucidating Rants

Road Trip

I am leaving for Garrison, IA, tomorrow (TUE 12/5), on my way to visit Mark, my little brother, & Christy, his long-suffering wife. I'm returning on SAT 12/9, so don't despair. I am taking along my laptop & hope to post at least one blog entry from our Iowanian neighbors.

There Is No Place Like Nebraska

• Here's one more "for the road." When I got up this morning, the temperature was 44. Before the end of the morning the mercury began plummeting & we were on the receiving end of 50+ m.p.h. wind gusts. 
• It's 9:01 p.m. (CST). According to accuweather.com, the air temperature is 25 degrees. The wind chill puts us at 5 degrees. Tonight's temperature is expected to drop to 22 w/a wind chill @ -3.
• We are in a wind advisory until midnight.
• I am grateful that it looks like I'll have dry driving conditions on my trip east.