Leckband Cornhusker State Blog: Reasons to rejoice...bemoan...+ fizzle...

special TUE edition . . . mental health MON

reasons to be [at least mildly] happy [or better]

Election Results

You might surmise that I woke up on WED 11/9, heard Lois report the presidential election results to me [She was quicker to her cell phone than I was.], I felt a huge wave of relief. Well . . . yes & no.
I was admittedly very relieved that "She-Who-Should-Have-Been-&-Still-Probably-Should-Be-Indicted" was NOT elected to be our next POTUS. Anyone with a lick of common sense should NOT have supported this woman's election [I'm sorry IF I offend you, but it's still MY blog.]
On the other hand, I have pointed out ad nauseum * that I could not & would not endorse "He-That-I-Cannot & Will Not Endorse." Our country is in for a challenging transition & a challenging four years.
* There I go again, flaunting my multi-lingual skills ad nauseum.

I paid $1.99/gallon for gas at Hy-Vee on MON 11/14, clearly a sign that the fossil fuel's market is on the uptick after the results of last week's election, right?

An upside to my "sabbatical" has been an opportunity to spend more time helping out w/my grand-daughters in Lincoln & my 3-year-old grandson Bentley. I got to take care of him for about an hour-&-a-half yesterday morning (11/14), & he actually brought over a couple of books for me to read. One was "Blue Hat, Green Hat," by Sandra Boynton, & I'll bet I read it to him a dozen times. He laughed hysterically whenever we got to the turkey w/the "oops" caption. [You really gotta read it to appreciate it.] I finally convinced him to let me read a book entitled "Farm," whose protagonist was a duck, after which we watch a couple of baby duckling videos on YouTube before his mother Rachel came back to pick him up. Ahhhhh.

Road trip update

A couple of weeks ago when I was on one of my excursions to Lincoln, helping provide limo service for my daughter Sarah & my grand-daughters Brianna (12) & Hadley (7!!!), I took a road trip to Rock Creek Station State Historical Site near Crete. Lois & I first visited it during the summer of 1978, when we camped our way from Chicago to southwest Kansas, where her parents lived. At that time RCS only consisted of a historical marker on the highway & one small, restored building.
We've been back a couple of more times, but it's been quite a few years. Now there are many restored buildings. For those of you who enjoy the history of the Old West, as I do, Rock Creek Station is where James Butler Hickock, aka "Wild Bill," may have killed his first man. I say "may," because there is some reason to believe that he may have shot down a man in Springfield, MO, previously. Whatever. Google it & do your own research.
It was a very enjoyable hour or so that I spent on site. Also brought back a lot of pleasant memories.

Lutheran High School VB championship

Congratulations to our sister LHS--Concordia Lutheran in Omaha--who won the State C1 championship last weekend in Lincoln. They came from behind in all three sets and won the final set 37-35, after being down 34-35. No, your eyes are not deceiving you. The final scores does look like a football score.
I feel compelled to mention that 75% of LCMS high schools in Nebraska have won State VB championships. Can our friends in the public or Catholic school systems match that record? I believe that I am safe in calling this a victory for all LCMS high schools in the state!

My positive health update

I had my regularly-scheduled appt w/my P.A. today (11/15). My hemoglobin A1c result was shockingly within the normal range, especially considering that I've steadily continued to gain back the weight I lost up to & immediately following my hip replacement in the early spring . . . I also found out that I do NOT have a recommendation to get x-rays or an orthopedic referral or PT for my right knee . . . yet. More on that later.

Internet provider & news about television

This is heeeuuuge! After having access to cable and/or satellite tv since the early 1990s, dating back to your time in Lincoln, NE, continuing thru our time in Hawaii & on thru our recent history in Norfolk, NE, we have had access to cable and/or satellite TV. Well, as of about two weeks ago, we cut the proverbial [I've been waiting forever to use that cliche'.] umbilical cord & dropped our satellite TV service. When we signed up for our "bundle" 2 years ago, part of it was predicated on the fact that our cable package had risen exponentially & we just weren't watching as much network & cable TV as much as we used to. However, I still felt that we needed access to weather & news because of my responsibilities as head administrator at LHNE.
So we dropped our cable provider & signed up with a satellite provider, which also meant a new Internet provider. We bundled, which also meant a new landline connection & high-speed Internet. We have had two years of NO decrease in prices, NO improvement in service, steadily deteriorating Internet services, AND NO land line. That's right . . . when we got our original hardware in the mail, we found that when we connected the infamous "green cable" to our new server, we couldn't get access to our new landline. [Again, something I felt that I still needed as head administrator at Lutheran High, if for no other reason to have a listing in the phonebook.] If we connected the green cable, we couldn't get access to high-speed Internet [which turned out to be a laughable concept]. We made numerous phone calls to both parties. Each party blamed the other.
Eventually we gave up & decided that we did NOT need a landline, so we called to cancel the landline service. Sorry, we were told. You signed a contract for bundled services, so opting out of a landline was not permissible. Wait . . . what? We couldn't have a landline through no fault of our own but would still have to pay for it?
A month or so ago, when we had endured increasing frustrations w/our Internet service--again--we called our provider--again. We were told that the problem was our server--not our fault--& they would mail us a new server at no charge. We waited over a week w/no results, then called again. We were told that, no, it wasn't the server. A technician was sent to our house. After spending an hour on the problem, we were told that the problem all along was that from the very beginning the landline(s) service had been sent to ALL of our landline connections, not just one. Again, NOT OUR FAULT, yet we paid for the landline that we never got to use for two years!
We discontinued our Internet provider also. We now have a new Internet provider. Knock on wood *, we have had two weeks of almost flawless service, our rate has dropped dramatically, & we are on a month-to-month contract! CAVEAT EMPTOR! **
* CAVEAT: Lutherans traditionally do not accept this as a legitimate doctrinal practice.
** There I go, flaunting my multi-lingual skills . . . again!

Reasons to be [at least mildly or more] despondent

My mental health update

For the last couple months I've continued to struggle w/my depression. I attribute part of it caused by continued uncertainty re: my status over my disability. To recap, in Nov. 2014, I began a long-term disability because of my mood disorders(s), administered by Liberty Mutual on behalf of Concordia Plan Services. This status was subject t periodic review. At the very end of July I was notified by LM that I no longer met the criteria for disability, despite recommendations by my mental health providers, but was entitled to appeal. [This happened to me once before; I appealed & my appeal was upheld.] Not only did I lose my disability payments, I also lost my health insurance w/virtually no time before I could file the appeal.
This situation drug on until late September. I had already begun to experience a relapse in my mood disorders; this situation only served to exacerbate symptoms. Finally, I was notified in late SEP that my formal appeal had been received, & my temporary health insurance had been restored at least thru the end of NOV.
Approximately one week ago I was notified by CPS that LM did NOT in fact forward my paperwork to their Appeals Division, despite what they told us on the phone & notified me via a formal letter. The good news? CPS has informed me that my temporary health insurance has been extended until the end of 2016, barring some extraordinary circumstance. The bad news? LM could still notify me at any time that my claim has been disallowed.
If/when my claim is disallowed, my temporary health insurance will lapse at the end of that same month. Barring any other legal recourse, I will most likely have to start dipping into my CRP, while postponing--hopefully--Social Security payments. I will also have to begin covering my own health insurance premiums. [CAVEAT: I understand many of you--especially on some type of Obamacare--have been struggling w/health insurance premiums for some time & this will only get worse after 12/31.]
So, once again, this has only served to exacerbate my symptoms of depression & anxiety, & so I ask for your prayers; also your prayers for my spouse, who is long-suffering & shouldn't have to put up w/all this stress on account of me.

My physical health update

I mentioned above that I got good news this morning (11/15) about my hemoglobin A1c results--completely baffling to me, since I have been on a "self-proscribed" carb diet [otherwise known as "eating for comfort"], which typically accompanies my depressive cycles, for the last month or more. And I'm not facing any PT or surgical procedures for my knee--at least in the near future.
On the other hand, my walking routines have taken a severe hit, & I don't see that changing much for the better until my knee issue resolves. I'm supposed to start on an anti-inflammatory. My PA's suggestion was Aleve x2 per day. Any comments about that? Okay, I think that's enough pity party for one day, don't you?

FIZZLING? DROP & ROLL?

This is a continuation of the notes from my sectional at the Lutheran Education Association National Convocation at Grand Rapids, MI, last month. I tried to provide some insights re: the strong similarities between burnout & depression symptoms; also to provide some strategies for relief & reasons to hope.

MORE INSIGHTS [& my comments]

Depressed people may avoid social situations that require emotional energy. [I did. I became somewhat of a social recluse & was probably seen as being anti-social.]
They may pour most energy into work (leave home early; stay at work late). [Guilty!]
They may return home /little or no energy left for spouse & family. [Guilty!]
It may feel like he or she is trying to avoid you (this could be true).
A personal relationship might make a difference (or not). [If you have a close relationship w/the person, he/she might be embarrassed to share feelings w/you.]
Listen respectfully (watch your body language). [Just because a person is depressed doesn't mean he/she can't recognize body language like frequently looking at your watch & rolling your eyes.]
Refrain from giving advice. [First, you most likely aren't a professional mental health provider. Secondly, if you know anything about mental health therapists, you know that they mostly listen instead of advising. True?]

IF THEY WON’T SEEK HELP [& my comments]

More likely than not even after multiple appeals
Easily leads to frustration, possibly resentment (or worse). [You may give up after being repeatedly rebuffed. Hang tough!]
Family is affected greatly, so make this part of the appeal. [ I.E., "Do it for your family! Or, "Your family is hurting!" I personally don't see anything wrong w/using guilt to prod someone into seeing a professional, BUT I am not a mental health specialist.]
What happens to a spouse if the other member of a couple is affected? A spouse may{?} require help.) [I would say that a spouse almost CERTAINLY requires help.]
Tough love [You may need to tell a co-worker or close friend that it's time for an intervention. MORE ON that below. I will say that I strongly regret that I did NOT insist that one of my colleagues did NOT follow my advice & see a mental health specialist when I suggested that he/she might be suffering from clinical depression.]
“Speaking the truth in love.” [This is scriptural, but it does NOT give you the right to be mean-spirited. Again, remember that you are most likely NOT a mental health specialist, so telling someone that he or she is clinically depressed is NOT your call. Recommending that someone needs to see a mental health professional MAY BE your call.]
An intervention [In my case, it took a surprise mtg w/my pastor, the District President, the District Executive for Education, my wife, & I think the president of my BOD. That tends to get a person's attention, but it was needed, because at that point I still thought that I could straighten things out on my own.]

TAKE SUICIDAL THOUGHTS SERIOUSLY! [& my comments]

This includes self-destructive thoughts. [Example: "I want to kill myself, & I have a plan." But it also includes apathy re: death, as in, "I really don't care whether I live or die. Maybe people would be better off if I was dead."]
Some personal experiences. [I don't recall ever wanting to kill myself, but I can relate to feeling totally apathetic about living or dying. I've also experienced two suicides of students at my Lutheran High School--truly a devastating event for all involved that may cause long-lasting feelings of guilt for survivors.]
This is very likely a “reportable” action if you are a church worker. [You may be legally bound to report any self-destructive comments or knowledge of self-destructive comments and/or behaviors of a student or any other minor to the authorities if you are a professional church worker. Examples: a student confides in you that he/she is contemplating suicide; you read in a student's journal that he/she is having suicidal thoughts & feelings; a student confides in you that a close friend is hoarding pills for a suicide attempt. Even if you confront this student & he/she denies it, I believe a contact w/a parent is an absolute must.]
Self-reporting. [If YOU experience thoughts of self-destruction, this is a classic symptom of clinical depression, & you owe it to yourself & your loved ones to seek treatment! And, FYI, yes, I have reported feelings of apathy re: living or dying to my mental health providers.]

IF YOU THINK YOU MAY BE SUFFERING FROM DEPRESSION * [& my comments]

* I shared these w/you previously:

Make an appointment w/your pastor, a counselor, a physician to tell them what’s been happening in your life. Let them know how many things have been very difficult for you & you don’t seem to be getting better.
Try to follow their recommendations.
Arrange follow-up visits, especially if the symptoms of your illness are continuing to leave you feeling discouraged & defeated. [Your issues didn't all appear overnight; your recovery isn't going to happen overnight.]
Spend time w/positive people you find encouraging, uplifting, compassionate.
Reduce time w/”stinky” people who are routinely negative, unkind, or unpleasant. [This sounds harsh, but faculty workrooms & mtgs can be nasty locations for people suffering from mood disorders.]

CONTINUED

6. Try to take comfort in Word & Sacrament

7. John 16:33 “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in Me. Here on earth you will have many trials & sorrows. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” (Jesus]

8. Trust that God or Father, who created you; Jesus Christ, who redeemed you by His death & triumphant resurrection; & the Holy Spirit, who through Word & Sacraments continues to bring you God’s gifts, will continue to bless, keep, sustain & comfort you throughout each of these difficult days & even to eternity.

TRUTH & HOPE FROM SCRIPTURE * [& my comments]