Anxiety + Perfectionism + Climate Change + Twinkies

mental health MON

Mental Health Update

• I'm still waiting for a resolution of my health insurance "quandary." The company administering my long-term medical disability notified me at the very end of July that I no longer met the criteria for this disability. That meant my health care plan was terminated, effective 8/1/16. I didn't get their official letter until the first week of August, so I couldn't file an official appeal until AFTER my health plan had expired. I can get temporary health coverage while my appeal is being examined, but as of SUN 9/11, when I picked up a prescription, I also had to pick up the cost, i.e., the company administering my disability apparently has NOT notified CPS of my appeal yet . . . which I filed at the beginning of August. I realize that I shouldn't be anxious about this--given that there are many who struggle w/the costs of health care--but for someone with a general anxiety disorder, this is adding to my general anxiety.
• Walking Sammy continues to be a benefit for me. If you suffer from any type of mood disorder, I am NOT recommending that you get a dog. I AM recommending that you walk or take time for some other type of physical activity every day. It's a proven strategy for counteracting depression & anxiety.
• I continue writing devotionals for Orphan Grain Train--also helping out with some letter-writing--& I continue w/my weekly blogging, which I have tried to limit to three posts per week. Writing continues to be self-therapeutic for me, although I've struggled recently with staying on-task [because I've had more trouble w/my OCD symptoms as my general anxiety symptoms have multiplied recently.] *
• Next month is the national Lutheran Education Association (L.E.A.) Convocation in Grand Rapids, MI. After I "voluntarily" took leave from LHNE--but before I went on long-term medical disability--I applied for & was accepted to lead a sectional re:  burn-out. So, I've started working on my presentation. I think I have some worthy insights to offer. On the other hand, I won't pretend that this doesn't create more anxiety for me . . . but I will persevere.

* I continue trying to be transparent because {a} I blog for self-therapy; {b} I hope my mental health MON entries might be of some use to others; & {c} it's my blog, so, yes, it's all about Paul.

More about Perfectionism *

      "Understanding the difference between healthy striving & perfectionism is critical to laying down the shield & picking up your life. Research shows that perfectionism hampers success. In fact, it's often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, & life paralysis. Life paralysis refers to all of the opportunities we miss because we're too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect. It's also all of the dreams that we don't follow because of our deep fear of failing, making mistakes, & disappointing others. It's terrifying to risk when you're a perfectionist; your self-worth is on the line." [emphasis in original]

MY COMMENTS:  I can strongly relate to this on at least two levels.

1. Perfectionism can lead to a self-deception, i.e., "Perfectionism is a positive character trait that SHOULD be cultivated." What's wrong with striving to be perfect?
2. Perfectionism is intrinsically linked to OCD. In my case it led to accumulating an ever-growing TO-DO list on Microsoft Outlook, because there were too many important things that I just couldn't begin because the perfect time wasn't there to begin, then devote to them . . . And I couldn't cross things off my list, because I might forget something important & fail, which also added to my general anxiety.

* SOURCE:  The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene' Brown (Hazelden), 2010.

G.O.M.E.R. *

From Omaha World Herald (9/8):  "Team changes routine to nix anthem protest. The Washington Spirit (soccer team) prevented Seattle midfield Megan Rapine from kneeling during the national anthem by altering its pregame ceremonies. The NWSL team moved up the anthem, playing it while the teams were off the field . . . " [Thereby allowing one person to deprive all other players the opportunity to display their respect for those whose service & sacrifice to our country is represented by our flag.]

OWH (9/9): "MTV bets on bawdy women w/two new comedies . . . " [Because what we need on TV are more bawdy comedies . . . &, no, I didn't waste my time reading the article.]

From Norfolk Daily News (9/10):  "DiCaprio unveils film. "Leonardo DiCaprio has unveiled his climate change documentary 'Before the Flood' at the Toronto International Film Festival, saying the film is intended to 'give the scientific community a voice.' [First, I'd say the main-stream media has given the mainstream scientific community as much voice as it needs. Second, because we need well-respected climate change expert Leo DiCaprio to add his voice to the mainstream climate change debacle? **]

* Grumpy Old Men & Their Elucidating Rants
** Why do I call it a debacle? Just to be clear, it is MY contention that there has been so much dissembling on one side that it is virtually impossible to grant any credibility to anything they put out about climate change . . . or at least reasons behind climate change & strategies for reversing it. I'm just sayin'.  

Reasons to be Anxious

Taglines from Drudge Report (9/12):  [I lacked the mental & emotional energy to read the articles.]

• "China/Russia War Ready . . . 
• "US military: Iranian behavior getting worse in Persian gulf . . . 
• "N Korea ready to conduct another nuke test . . . 
• "ISIS female fighters vow to attack West . . . "

Reasons to be Optimistic & Confident

Psalm 121:1-2:  "I will lift up my eyes to the hills from where my help comes. My hep comes from the Lord, who made heaven & earth."

More Reasons to be Optimistic and/or Light-hearted

OWH (8/13):  "Partnership produces Deep Fried Twinkies. The deep-fried Twinkie is jumping from the state fair to the home freezer. Hostess Brands, the maker of lunchbox greats including traditional Twinkes & Ho Hos, on FRI launched Deep Fried Twinkies that marks its first foray into frozen foods. The cream-filled snack in vanilla or chocolate is the result of a year-long collaboration between Hostess & Walmart, as both companies look to spark food sales w/innovative products . . . " [If you read my recent NE State Fair entries, you know that I--regretfully--passed up multiple opportunities to sample deep-fried Twinkies.]

Dept. of Favorite Comics' Dialogue

OWH (8/26) "Pickles":
Gramma: Coloring books aren't just for children anymore.
Gramma: More & more adults are discovering the calming, soothing effects of coloring.
Grammar: And it's been proven to lower a person's level of anxiety.
Nelson (grandson): You're coloring outside the lines, Gramma.
Gramma: I AM NOT!!!!