whimsical wednesday

DISCLAIMER re: MY INCREASING USE OF LINKS!  Treat them like I often treat Drudge...Check them out, look at the "tag," to see what amused me, then decide whether it's worth your time & effort to actually follow-through. It won't hurt my feelings. After all . . . first & foremost, I still blog mostly for my own self-therapy.

WHIMSY

Recent fortunes:  Here are some beauties gleaned from the last batch of fortune cookies I enjoyed. Is it my imagination, or is the quality of fortunes diminishing?

• "Po Says: Friends are like cookies, they are always good to have around."
• "Po Says: The 4 greatest words are all you can eat."
• "Po Says: You will be invited to a panda party. Be sure to bring enough dumplings."
• "Failure is the tuition you pay for success." [Now that's more like it!"]

Tagline from Drudge Report (4/16):  "College students struggling to read entire books . . ." [In their defense, who has time to read books when you're spending most of your time protesting, because you have hurt feelings about all those college buildings named after dead white guys?]

Obsessed about body odor? Check out this source:  Link to "A brief history of body odor," via Drudge via Jonah Goldberg (4/16).

We had one of our best income tax results that we could remember this year. None-the-less [As a secondary English major, I cringe at using that word, but it's my blog.], I felt obligated to publish the following from the Omaha World Herald's Go Magazine (4/14):  "4 Cocktails to Drink on Tax Day." 

• "Income Tax Cocktail. This on-the-nose drink from Liquor.com was adapted from 1935's 'Old Mr. Boston Official Bar-Tenders Guide.' > 1/4 oz. dry vermouth > 1/4 oz. sweet vermouth > 1/4 oz. gin > 3/4 oz. orange juice > dash Angostura bitters > Pour all ingredients into a shaker. Fill w/cracked ice,shake, & strain into a cocktail glass." [Of the 4 cocktails, this looked like the most exotic but didn't sound appealing to me at all.]
• "Tax-atini. FlicksAndFood.com offers this twist on a lemon drop, in case you're dropping a whole lot of money on your taxes. > 1 1/2 oz. vodka > 1/2 oz. orange liqueur > 3/4 oz fresh lemon juice > 1 tsp superfine sugar > Add vodka, orange liqueur & lemon juice into shaker w/ice. Shake & pour in a sugar rimmed glass. Garnish w/twisted lemon peel." [Martinis have always been one of my favorites. Some cocktails you drink for effect; some for taste. Martinis you drink for effect.]

WACKY WORLD OF WAYWARD CELEBRITIES *

*This may become a new, regular feature. What do you think? **
** I guess I really don't care, since--I remind you again--it's my blog.

Another tagline from Drudge (4/14):  "Katy Perry wins a victory in battle to buy nuns' convent . . ." [I didn't bother to read the article.]

Remember David Hasselhoff? You might be interested in this link via Mental Floss via Drudge via Jonah Goldberg (4/16).

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

I think when we were gathered in Las Vegas for Blake & Teresa's nuptials several Thanksgiving holidays ago, David & I & whatever kids we had with us in the car stopped & had burgers & fries at a Five Brothers. It was everything I had hoped it would be . . . & more! Check out this link about someone who had a craving for Five Brothers that couldn't be stifled by any stinkin' business hours. It comes via "abcNew" via Drudge via Jonah Goldberg (4/16). [This entry could just as easily have qualified for Criminal Minds and/or There Is No Place Like . . . "] 

CONVERSATIONS W/MY GRANDSON BENTLEY *

Rachel: Who's the boss?
Bentley:  Daddy!
Rachel: Do you want to sleep with Daddy tonight?
Bentley:  Mommy's the boss.

* Parents:  Rachel & Derek Broders; age 2, turns 3 this summer. Conversation:  SAT 4/16 @ our house while the 3 Broders were paying us a social call.

CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR

Also from OWH (4/5):  "April Fool's prank nets arrest, multiple chargest for G.I. man. A Grand Island Man was arrested on numerous counts after a failed April Fool's prank. G.I. Police Capt. D. Elliott said Daniel W., 49, was arrested early SAT morning after he entered the Arby's restaurant on S. Locust St, wielding a gun. Just before midnight, W. entered the restaurant & demanded money from the employees, 4 of whom fled & called the police. Hearing the commotion, the restaurant manager came out & recognized W. as a restaurant employee [emphasis added]. W. explained that his actions were an April Fool's prank, Elliott said. 
      "W. then left the restaurant & attempted to drive away but was stopped by police . . . arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence, 4 counts of terroristic threats, 3 counts of child abuse (his 3 children...were in the vehicle w/him), 3 counts of driving under the influence w/children in the vehicle & possession of drug paraphernalia for a marijuana pipe found in the vehicle . . . Elliott said the gun that was displayed during the fake robbery was a BB handgun."  [My guess? W. will not qualify for B.K. Employee of the Month.]

Dialogue from Baby Blues comic strip in OWH (4/6):
"Dad:  What's wrong with Zoe?
Mom:  Some of her older friends have been teasing her.
Dad:  About what?
Mom:  C'mon. You know what preteen girls are like.
Dad:  I do?
Mom:  Think piranhas in training bras."
[Although I have personally never taught this grade level, my spouse has, & I have heard enough anecdotes to say w/authority that this comic strip conversation rings absolutely true.]