Think twice before you choose to ignore this post!

Exclusive Hill Family Reunion 2016 News & Commentary *

• As a veteran of more than one or two Hill Family Reunions . . . 
• & having been married to a blood kin of the Hill family for over 40 years . . . 
• & having been acquainted with at least some other blood kin of the Hill family for over years . . . 
• & having heard more than a few anecdotes about both Sister Bashes & Family Reunions that I haven't attended over the years . . . 

I feel duty-bound to begin offering some "insights" about what to expect . . . guidance, if you will, that will help make everyone's experience this summer as pleasurable & stress-free as possible. *
* And by "blood kin" & "extended family" I include the four sisters [you know who you/they are] . . . Two brothers [you know who YOU/they are, & they have my sympathy * . . . brothers-in-law . . . sisters-in-law . . . nieces . . . nephews . . . grand-children . . . anyone else who attends. **
** And I may regret writing that. ***
*** Trust me, as I said . . . It is for your own good!

THE "GUIDELINES" FOR A HILL FAMILY REUNION *

* Amended & adapted from "guidelines" for Sister Bash. **
** I've decided to use the word "guideline" instead of "rule" or "commandment," for fear of offending any of the Sisters, for reasons you will soon read about. ***
*** Today's list is by no means exhaustive . . . My intention is to pick up where I leave off today, then continue next Sunday ****
**** Unless this makes me weary and/or bored, which happens more often than you probably realize *****
***** Or I get death threats or actual attempts are made on my life.

1. Even though this is a "Family" Reunion . . . for all practical purposes, the Sisters are in charge. If any type of potential conflict arises about plans, the Sisters act as the final arbiters. The Brothers do play a role in decision-making, but I don't know if this is how the Sisters perceive things or if any of the rest of us fully understand exactly what this role is. [COROLLARY 1A:  The word "Sisters," when used in the context of either "Sister Bash" or "Hill Family Reunion," is always to be considered a proper noun.]
2. Gossiping or otherwise speaking ill of those not present to defend themselves is "poor sportsmanship," but generally tolerated.
3. There will be multiple conversations . . . going on between & among people, which will occur simultaneously & in the same or extremely close proximity of others. Decibel levels can be dangerously high. You better be prepared for it. [CAVEAT 3.A:  If the level of noise reaches a point where those w/a diagnosed mood disorder find it necessary to seek solitude off by himself, this behavior is to be tolerated! SEE GUIDELINE 2. CAVEAT 3.B: Respect personal space. Getting within about an elbow-to-fingertip length of someone else is a gross violation of a person's space. {Which someone, & modesty forbids me from disclosing who it is, has extensive experience and/or wisdom about.] CAVEAT 3.C:  Don't say you weren't warned . . . If you have fragile hearing to begin with . . . especially those of you [us?!} who are slightly older than others . . . bring & use those foam ear plugs that I think you can purchase pretty cheaply at Walgreen's or Wal-mart . . . neither of which, by the way, have received any promotional consideration for this reference.]
4. Since the topic of conversations has been introduced, I might as well share those topics of conversation that are off limits . . . Politics . . . Global climate change . . . Religion . . . Animal rights [especially endangered species] . . . Sports are generally a safe topic, but if they lead to fisticuffs, the Sisters decide whether such conversations may continue. [SEE GUIDELINE 1. CAVEAT 4.A. This is more of a suggestion than even a guideline . . . Maybe when it comes to some of these topics, if inevitably one of them is opened up & the atmosphere grows heated, one of the "elders" {not limited to "blood kin"} should be deferred to, especially if he lives in a "red" state {sometimes referred to as "a state where reasonable people live."} I'm just sayin'. COROLLARY 4.A. You may feel safe approaching an individual about any one or more of these topics, but you should NEVER do this if you are within earshot of the rest of the group, & you also better make darn sure that you know the other person isn't a crybaby who will probably wither in the face of your insurmountable facts & superior reasoning]. 

* A "GRAND" CAVEAT

This may be of only marginal interest to those who have no connection whatsoever to the Hill family. In fact, for the sake of privacy, I probably should include this DISCLAIMER:
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DISCLAIMER:  The contents of this blog entry are highly personal & not appropriate for "mass consumption except for members of humankind who are connected in some way, shape, or form, no matter how weak the link, to any member of the Hill family, whether a blood relative or otherwise.
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Actually, since it's my blog & I blog for self-therapy as much as anything else, I don't really care whether you read this blog or not . . . I suppose I can trust you to read it, get whatever thrill you might obtain from it, then forget it . . . or maintain your silence . . . [You know, like, "What gets said in this blog, stays in this blog?! Yeah . . . sometimes I really crack myself up.] . . . To members of the vast, extended Hill family . . . I apologize IF any of my revelations in previous, today's, or future Hill Family Reunion entries reveal sacred family legends & lore or hurt anyone's feelings. *
* And, yes, I know that an apology that includes an IF is what is called a "qualified" apology, so it's not really a sincere apology at all, but is mostly meant to soothe the apologist's conscience and/or "put one over" on the gullible "victims." **
** Not that anyone in the extended Hill family is gullible or an intended victim. ***
*** And with that I'm thinking I better quit before I dig myself into an even deeper hole.

Finally, if you are part of the Hill Family, whether blood kin or otherwise, & you feel that I have misstated or misinterpreted a rule . . . made something up out of thin air . . . or you're afraid that I'll forget something important . . . 

. . . feel free to start your own blog.