Fu Fu Coffee + The Delicate Subject of Strong Drink

EXCLUSIVE! HILL FAMILY REUNION 2016

A Recap

Last SUN 4/17, I began what I think will be a series of SUN blog entries that contain guidelines for those planning or considering the Hill Family Reunion this summer in the Twin Cities. As I shared last week, I feel duty-bound to share these guidelines especially for those of the younger ilk; also those who are planning or considering a Hill Family Reunion for the first time. Finally, as I shared last week . . . 

• If you think I misstated or misinterpreted any guideline . . . 
• If you think a guideline is wholly a fabrication of my mind [& remember . . . I have one or more diagnosed mood disorders} . . . 
• If you think I am violating the privacy of this family by divulging family legend or lore that is/was meant to be shared exclusively by, among, & within the extended Hill family only . . . 
• If you are afraid I will forget an important guidelines; and finally . . . 
• If anything in today's blog offends you in any way, shape or form . . . 

. . . start your own blog. [And I mean that w/all due respect.]

GUIDELINES SURE * TO MAKE THE HILL FAMILY REUNION                                AN ENJOYABLE EXTRAVAGANZA FOR THE MAXIMUM NUMBER OF THE EXTENDED HILL FAMILY, WHETHER BLOOD-KIN OR OTHERWISE

5. Sisters will insist on making multiple pots of fu fu *** coffee every day . . . & not necessarily limited to breakfast, brunch, or morning hours in general. [COROLLARY 5.A. Those of us who consider ourselves to be "reasonable" coffee aficionados should be--& I emphasis the phrase "should be" & avoid the phrase "must be"--entitled to make & enjoy at least one pot of bold and/or dark roast coffee per day. **** CAVEAT 5.A. There is no guarantee that whoever is responsible for purchasing supplies will purchase anything other than fu fu coffee, since this task often, but not always, falls to one or more of the Sisters & whomever she delegates to assist her. Therefore, if you, like myself, generally value manly coffee, you should probably bring your own supply.]
6. Which brings me to what may or may not be a delicate subject . . . strong drink . . .  Let's be honest . . . We are all familiar with the legendary exploits of the Sisters at both Sister Bashes & Family Reunions over the years. In fact, according to very reliable but sources who choose [wisely] to remain anonymous, some of these exploits have been documented ***** . . . Wine seems to be the drink of choice . . . red wine . . . though not necessarily limited to dry, red wine, although I may be starting to stray out of my limits of expertise here. Time for:  [CAVEAT 6.A. Liquor is not shunned, but, see relevant comment in GUIDELINE 5.CAVEAT 5.A. COROLLARY 6.A. Some of us frown on male members of the Hill "entourage" ordering & consuming in public and/or concocting & consuming in private aforementioned drinks w/fu fu sounding names, especially if they include little umbrellas & chunks of fruit. COROLLARY 6.B. This does not apply to most martini's, regardless of whether olives are fruit or not, because most martini's are manly drinks. CAVEAT 6.B. Underage drinking is not permitted. CORALLARY TO CAVEAT 6.B. No, I'm not kidding. CAVEAT 6.C. Younger generations of the Hill "entourage" are invited, yea, strongly encouraged, to purchase rounds of drinks for the older generations, since this is guaranteed to endear them to the "right people." CAVEAT 6.D. Did I mention that "cheap" brands of wine and/or other "hard" liquor or distilled spirits are generally not tolerated & may result in Gossip . . . even about someone who is present! SEE GUIDELINE 2., SUN 4/17 . . . What about the old "buy cheap alcoholic brews, tonics, and/or blends & pour them into expensive, brand-name bottles trick?" It's been done . . . It doesn't work . . . There will be too many connoisseurs in attendance. COROLLARY GUIDELINE to GUIDELINE 6.CAVEAT 6.D . . . uh, I'm starting to get confused. The same "guideline" holds true for any coffee that is purchased, fu fu or otherwise.]

* Well, most likely. **
** Somewhat likely.
*** We have used this term--& I guarantee I have spelled it correctly, although, if you check the link, you'll find out that there are alternate spelling variations, to refer to flavored coffee. I fear that we've been under a false impression for years. I took the liberty of checking my "go-to" online dictionary site, and it turns out that this term does NOT, contrary to at least the Hill Family "popular" opinion, refer to "girly" coffee. [Don't believe me? Check out the link for yourself . . . Doubter!]
**** As always, my recommendation is Seattle's Best Dark #5.
***** But we won't mention any names. You/we know who you are.