Search for Authenticity + Reasons for Anxiety . . . the Doldrums

Mental Health MON

An Excerpt . . . My Commentary

From The Gifts of Imperfection...Your Guide to a Wholehearted Life, by Brene' Brown (Hazelden), 2010. {From Chapter 10, Cultivating Authenticity} NOTE:  Boldface sections were added by me.
      "I also found that men & women struggle when their opinions, feelings, & beliefs conflict w/our culture's gender expectations . . . When looking at the attributes associated w/masculinity, the researchers identified these as important attributes for men:  emotional control, primacy of work, control over women, & pursuit of status. That means if men want to play it safe, they need to stop feeling, start, earning, & give up on meaningful connection. [In the interest of true confession, I would say that all too often I succumbed to the primacy of work & pursuit of status. Emotional control? I've always been a pretty emotional guy. Control over women? I've often wondered what that would be like.]
      "The thing is . . . authenticity isn't always the safe option. Sometimes choosing being real over being liked is all about playing it unsafe. It means stepping out of our comfort zone. And trust me, as someone who has stepped out on many occasions, it's easy to get knocked around when you're wandering through new territory. [I agree. I like to be liked, & that didn't always serve me well, as a father, teacher, and/or administrator.]
      "It's easy to attack & criticize someone while he or she is risk-taking--voicing an unpopular opinion or sharing a new creation w/the world or trying something new that he or she hasn't quite mastered. Cruelty is cheap, easy, & rampant . . . [As a secondary educator, I came to see how cruelty seemed to come so naturally to adolescents. However, I refused to accept it as something that just was natural & had to be tolerated. Cruelty does not need to be tolerated.] 
      "As we struggle to be authentic & brave, it's important to remember that cruelty always hurts, even if the criticism are untrue . . . The problem is that when we don't care at all what people think & we're immune to hurt, we're also ineffective at connecting. Courage is telling our story, not being immune to criticism. Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection . . . [Maybe that's why I've always been inherently suspicious of people who give the impression that they truly don't care what other people think. It's one thing to take action contrary to what other's desire for the sake of what's right, but to not care whether other's are hurt by it or not? Hmmm.]
      "I believe there's even more risk in hiding yourself & your gifts from the world. Our unexpressed ideas, opinions, & contributions don't just go away. They are likely to fester & eat away at our worthiness . . . Caution:  If you trade in your authenticity for safety, you may experience the following:  anxiety, depression, eating disorders, addiction, rage, blame, resentment, & inexplicable grief. [Italics in original.]
      "Sacrificing who we are for the sake of what other people think just isn't worth it. Yes, there can be authenticity growing pains for the people around us, but in the end, being true to ourselves is the best gift we can give the people we love." [I need to chew on this a little more. Isn't Jesus' call to be willing to sacrifice all for our friends mean being willing to sacrifice who we are for the sake of what other people think?]

Reasons for Anxiety?

From Readers' Digest 'Laugh Lines' by Jim Gaffigan (Dec 2015/Jan 2016):  "I hate when I try to order a salad & when my mouth says, 'I'll have a Double Quarter Pounder w/Cheese.'" [No...this doesn't really make me anxious. I just wanted to include something I thought was pretty funny...an example of shameless joke-stealing.]*
* As I've often said before, it's my blog.

Also from Readers' Digest {World of Medicine} (Sep 2015):  "Tylenol Mutes Pain--and Feelings. Researchers at Ohio State University had 80 college students take either a 1,000 mg dose of Tylenol or a placebo pill. An hour later, participants rated 40 photographs designed to provoke positive or negative reactions. Those who'd taken acetaminophen gave more muted responses for all images. The drug alters the brain in various ways, but researchers continue to study exactly why the medication blunts emotions." [I'd been taking hydrocodone, prescribed by my p.a., at night, off & on, since early November when I started experiencing chronic pain in my left hip. Eventually I started using it less & less because it didn't seem to make much of a difference. Then I read this . . . Someone w/a chronic anxiety disorder doesn't need to read something like this.] *
* Not that I'm looking for your pity. **
** But I could be.

Reasons for Doldrums

From Omaha World Herald column by Tom Purcell (1/30/16):  "My case of winter doldrums began in January 2009 . . . Weeks after President Obama had campaigned on hope & change, he signed an $830 billion 'stimulus' bill into law under the guise that it would have a significant impact on reducing the unemployment rate by funding 'shovel-ready' jobs.
      "Well, it didn't do much to spur job growth, but it shoveled plenty of you know what. We borrowed nearly $1 trillion to fund some awfully nutty projects. According to The Wall Street Journal, '$783,000 was spent on a study of why young people consume malt liquor & marijuana. Some $92,000 went to th Army Corps of Engineers for costumes for mascots like Bobber the Water Safety Dog. And $219,000 funded a study of college 'hookups' . . . 
      "My winter depression has been exacerbated by the worst economic recovery since WW II; massive increases in my insurance premium because of Obamacare; the unbelievable mess that our failed leadership is causing in the Middle East; the worry that as baby boomers retire in giant numbers in the next 10 years our entitlement costs are going to explode; & the overwhelming sense that our country is adrift w/nobody at the controls.
      "It makes me so depressed I want to pull my covers over my head & pretend that our problems don't exist--just as our political leaders are doing in Washington." [I could have saved this for a Special Edition of Political TUE in an upcoming Whimsical WED blog, but I'm saving room for some other excerpts. As far as you know.]

From Norfolk Daily News (2/15/16):  "Tie votes probable in key court cases. "Here are some questions & answers about the effect on the court of the death of its conservative icon & longest-serving justice;

• " . . . It may sound harsh, but Scalia's votes & draft opinions in pending cases no longer matter. Veteran Supreme Court lawyer Roy Englert said that 'the vote of a deceased justice does not count.'
• "What happens if there is a tie? The justices have two options. They can vote to hear the case a 2nd time when a new colleague joins them or they can hand down a one-sentence opinion that upholds the result reached in the lower court without setting a nationwide rule. When confirmation of a new justice is expected to happen quickly, re-argument is more likely. In this political environment, the vacancy could last into 2017.
• "How does Scalia's death affect specific cases? It deprives conservatives of a key vote & probably will derail some anticipated conservative victories in major Supreme Court cases, including one in which labor unions appeared headed for a big defeat. Next month's Supreme Court clash over contraceptives, religious liberty & President Obama's health care law also now seems more likely to favor the Obama administration."  [I am sad for Justice Scalia's family. I am in the doldrums over his death because of the effect it may likely have on Supreme Court decisions in the near future & on what action I expect the POTUS to take re:  a nominee.] 

Or Not

Also from OWH (2/10):  "In weight-loss battle, men's brains may give an edge. All's fair in love & war--but not in dieting apparently. If you've ever wondered how it is that men can cut out a few desserts & quickly drop 10 lbs while women tortuously calorie-count their way to incremental weight-loss, a new animal study may have the explanation:  It's in the brain.
      "POMC peptides, a class of hormones that regulate body weight, act differently in female mice than in male mice, according to a collaboration of researchers across 4 continents . The difference appears to make it harder for female mice to lose weight." [Sometimes I just report the news. It doesn't need any further commentary.] *
* Remind me to tell you my Weight Watchers story sometime.