Music Torture + Criminal Masterminds + Grilled Cheese

Whimsical Wednesday

Whimsy

From Norfolk Daily News (1/29/16):  "Music is torture. An instrumental rendition of the University of Iowa fight song has been playing for several hours every day since last summer over speakers mounted on a vacant building in the city of Niagara Falls. And it's driving the neighbors crazy. The music starts in the mid-afternoon & repeats in about 50-second loops for the next 7 hours before turning off. The owners of a restaurant directly across the street from the building said they have been told by police that the music's volume & the time it's being played don't violate any city noise ordinances . . . " [Things could get ugly between Iowa & New York.]

Also from NDN TV Week 'late laughs' (1/29):  "From The Late Show w/Stephen Colbert: Someone has stolen Abraham Lincoln's hands. A museum in Kankakee, IL, has reported that their plaster mold of the Great Emancipator'd hands was taken in DEC. Do you know what this means? They've got his fingerprints. Somewhere out there is a thief that can unlock Lincoln's iPhone." [This from the Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing.]

Tagline on Drudge Report (2/2/16):  "NO SHADOW: Groundhog 'Predicts' Early Spring' . . . [I am typing this at 5:45p on TUE 2/2. It's been snowing off & on since sometime overnight. We've been in a blizzard warning since 9:00p last night, which has been continued into WED a.m., 2/2. School was cancelled today, so Lois got a snow day, & it's been cancelled tomorrow. Our street has not been plowed; neither has our driveway, for we are snowed in. Are you feeling the whimsy?]

Criminal Minds

Also from NDN (1/8):  "Not stupid. A Rhode Island police department is reviewing its policy on using FB after a complaint about a quote from the movie 'Forrest Gump' that was included in announcing an arrest. Warwick police arrested an 18-yr-old & a juvenile SUN on the department's parking lot on misdemeanor charges that the two were taking hubcaps off a marked police car & trying to steal equipment . . . police posted a mugshot of the older teen on the dept's FB page with the quote, 'Stupid is as stupid does,' a line from the movie. The suspect's brother told the TV station that police shouldn't have called his brother stupid. The dept removed the photo & replaced the quote w/"You can't make this stuff up." [Fortunately, I have no such policy restricting my FB posts . . . STUPID!]

From Lincoln Journal Star (1/27/16):  British principal says no to parents in pajamas at school. The principal of a primary school in northern England wants to impose a dress code--not on students, but on their parents. She's tired of them wearing pajamas & slippers when they drop off their offspring at school each morning . . . " [Those slovenly Britishers . . . oh, wait. As I was walking into a Lincoln Hy-Vee Store on Saturday night, I encountered a man wearing a hoodie & pajamas. I don't think he was wearing slippers.]

Also from LJS (1/29):  "Teacher arrested in jail escapes." [What was the teacher doing in jail when he/she was arrested? And how did he/she escape from jail? Inquiring minds want to know?] *
* I suppose I could have/should have read the whole article. **
** Actually, I did. The story concerned the teacher who helped the 3 prisoners escape from the jail in CA.

Another tagline from Drudge (2/2):  "MAN ACCUSED OF TRYING TO SELL DRUGS IN TRAFFIC COURT." [No point in reading this article.]

Food For Thought

From Parade Magazine (1/10/16):  "Grilled Cheese Goodness. 86% of American adults love grilled cheese; 32% of grilled cheese loves have sex more than 6 times a month; 53% prefer cheese only--no add-ons; 41% say American cheese is their favorite sandwich filler, followed by cheddar (33%). 

• [I love grilled cheese sandwiches but always struggle w/scorching the bread.
• The best cheese ever for grilled cheese sandwiches was the government-surplus cheese that we used to get back in the day.
• I hope my inclusion of the 32% statistic doesn't endanger this blog's PG-13 rating.]

There is No Place Like . . . 

Florida

Also from LJS (1/26):  "Needed a dip. A crocodile apparently decided a morning dip in a Florida Keys swimming pool was just the thing. Monroe spokeswoman Becky Herrin said an Islamorada homeowner recently reported a croc in his pool. A photo provided by the the sheriff's office shows the large reptile floating languidly in the shallow end of the pool. Herron said the animal was about 8' long. [I am counting the days until the next family reunion in FL.] *
*And, yes, I know that St. Petersburg, Ft. Walton Beach, & Islamorada are separated by a few miles of ocean.

Colorado?

Also from LJS (1/29):  "Illegal drug traffickers set up in CO. Seeking a safe haven in CO's legal marijuana marketplace, illegal drug traffickers are growing weed among the state's sanctioned pot warehouses & farms, then covertly shipping elsewhere & pocketing millions of dollars from the sale, according to law enforcement officials & court records consulted by the AP." [Illegal drug traffickers getting involved in the CO marijuana marketplace? Whoever would have guessed that?]

Nebraska!

Also from NDN (1/28):  "Accordion box prompts evacuation. A suspicious package that turned out to be an accordion in a box led to the evacuation of 900 students & staff members from a Grand Island school." [Having played a part in developing LHNE's emergency response manual, I am fairly certain we drew up plans for an accordion box evaluation. I don't remember if we ever had an accordion box evacuation drill.]

From Omaha World Herald (2/2):  "Hotels fill up w/guests, who can fill up on cookies. Not to fear, the Doubletree downtown will have 10,000 chocolate chip cookies on hand for hotel guests who may be stranded downtown during the storm." [Amid all the hoopla * of the Big Snowstorm out East last week, I don't recall any neighborly gesture like this taking place. I'm just sayin'.]
* I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to use that word. **
** Well, I CAN tell you, but I choose not to.

Political TUE . . . on WED!

Also from LJS (1/29):  "Trump:  Had to skip it. (Dateline Des Moines) Donald Trump opened a THU rally coinciding w/the final GOP debate for MON's IA caucuses by telling supporters he would have preferred to be at the debate, but had no choice but to skip it after promising a boycott." ["He who shall not be named" may be having 2nd thoughts this morning. I'm just sayin'.]

Also from OWH (1/29):  "DiCaprio, Pope discuss environment. Actor Leonardo DiCaprio brushed up his Italian to greet Pope Francis at the Vatican Thursday, discussed their shared concern over the environment & gave the pontiff a check for his charitable works." [Oh, how I long to be privy to a conversation between these two intellectual heavy-weights re:  the subject of global warming.] *
* That comment was probably unnecessarily mean-spirited. **
** I apologize IF I offended anyone.

More Taglines from Drudge (2/2)''

• "POLL:  91% of American's Aren't Worried About 'Global Warming' . . . " [SEE next tagline & comment.]
• "Paris Treaty Will Cost At Least $12.1 Trillion?" [Unless they are millennials & have actually taken the time to ponder who will have to foot the tax burden for this monstrosity of a treaty.]
• "CHICAGOLAND:  Homicide highest rate in 15 years . . . " [What say you, my good friends living in Chicago?]