News for runners + Monkey selfies + There is no place like . . .

Whimsy

Excerpt from Norfolk Daily News (11/17/15):  "Four extra miles & all they got was a t-shirt. They ran an extra 4 miles on their half-marathon. And for their extra pain, they're getting a T-shirt. Organizers offered runners commemorative T-shirts Tuesday as part of an apology for inadvertently extending the weekend Standard Chartered Bangkok Half-Marathon by almost 7 kilometers (4 miles) . . . " ["My parents ran the Standard Chartered Bangkok Half-Marathon + 4 & all I got was this lousy t-shirt."]

Also from NDN (11/23):  "Amish man finishes marathon in 3 hours. An Amish man turned heads as he whizzed by fellow runners at a recent marathon--not because of his speed but because of his unusual racing attire. Twenty-two-year-old Leroy Stolzful finished the 26.2 mile Harrisburg Marathon on Nov. 8 in just over 3 hours & 5 minutes, all while wearing his community's traditional clothing. Stolzful said he's used to running in slacks & suspenders & he believes he would have run closer to a 3-hour marathon if he hadn't started out so fast." [I'm told that this is a fairly common issue for marathoners who wear suspenders.]

Excerpt from Omaha World Herald (11/10/15):  "Holiday cups put Starbucks in hot water. Lack of any Christmas message on chain's drink containers inspires a protest movement. Some say Jesus Christ healed the sick & died to redeem humankind. Little is said about His views on the Pumpkin Spice Latte. Still, secular coffee-maker Starbucks has come under fire from some Christians who say the company isn't prepping hard enough for Jesus on its understated holiday cups. The problem? Political correctness, according to one evangelical.
      "'I think in the age of political correctness, we become so open-minded our brains have literally fallen out of our head,' Joshua Feuerstein said in a widely viewed anti-Starbucks rant on Facebook titled 'Starbucks REMOVED CHRISTMAS from their cups because they hate Jesus.'" [Yes, I, for one, am a Christian who, amidst the news of Planned Parenthood selling aborted baby body parts & ISIS slaughtering Christians, am appalled, appalled, I tell you, at the generic coffee cups Starbucks has unveiled this holiday * season!]
* Thanksgiving & Christmas season! I meant "Thanksgiving & Christmas season!

Criminal minds

Also from OWH (11/14):  "Allegations throw wrench into dispute over 'monkey selfies'. The saga of some 'monkey selfies' snapped 4 years ago in the Indonesian wilderness using a camera borrowed from a nature photographer seems to never end. PETA is now suing on behalf of a macaque named Naruto for copyright on the photographs, seeking 'all proceeds from the sale, licensing, & other commercial uses of the Monkey Selfies' to fund conservation efforts.
      "But defense papers filed late last week say that the animal rights group can't prove that Naruto, a male, is the actual monkey who took the famous pictures . . . " [Meanwhile, rumor has it that lawyers are looking into the possibility of a class-action suit aimed at stopping the use of selfie stick-wielding monkey maniacs, causing countless injuries to tourists in Indonesia.]

Political Tuesday . . . Special WED edition

Also from OWH (11/30):  "Billions pledged for climate initiative. As world leaders gather in Paris for historic climate talks, a coalition of governments & private investors is preparing to launch a major research initiative that seeks to pour billions of dollars into an urgent search for solutions to global warming . . . " [Because Lord knows we wouldn't want to spend billions of dollars ending millions of deaths by malaria & chronic diarrhea in 3rd world countries.]

Food for Thought

Also from NDN (11/17):  "Expensive meal. Four young men got more than a meal when they killed & grilled a timber rattlesnake * in western Maryland--they were hit w/fines of $200 each in court. Online court records show the men from Glen Burnie, MD, pleaded guilty in district court in Cumberland to possessing or destroying the rattlesnake. It's a state-protected species . . . " [I realize this could also easily fit the category of "Criminal Minds."]
* Tastes like chicken. **
** C'mon, who could resist? Besides, it's my blog.

There is No Place Like . . . 

Maryland?!

Also from NDN (11/18):  "Wildlife workers free hungry bear from can. In an episode reminiscent of 'Winnie the Pooh,' Maryland state wildlife workers used an electric hand saw to remove a milk can that was stuck on the head of a bear. Dept. of Natural Resources spokeswoman Karis King said the wildlife response team was called to a rural location near Thurmont to rescue an adult male black bear w/his head stuck inside a metal milk can." [I'm not sure I get the connection between an electric hand saw & Winnie the Pooh, but KUDOS to Maryland wildlife workers anyway.]

Nebraska!

Also from OWH (11/25):  "Durham tree a tall order for decorators. When you pull out your ornaments to decorate your Christmas tree, imagine if it were 40' tall. That's the job facing crews who each year tackle decorating the tree at Omaha's Durham Museum. Think ornaments the size of basketballs. Like a lot of lights on a tree? The Durham's has 1,200, plus more than 700 ornaments . . . You think your fresh-cut tree drinks up a lot of water? The bottom trunk of the Durham's spruce is suspended in a round horse trough, & the monster tree soaked up more than 50 gallons the first day. [Not to put too fine a point on it, California, but we choose not to waste our water resources by watering the lawns of celebrities' estates. I'm just sayin.']

Leckband Temp Challenge w/o Comment *

{Ratings based on NOAA web site @ 7:13a (CST); all temps in F.}
#1:  Ventura, IA:  25/17 wind chill
#2:  Eagan, MN:  28/no wc
#3:  Garrison, IA:  31/23
#4:  Beatrice, NE:  33/24
#5:  TIE! Norfolk & Lincoln, NE:  34/25
#7:  BALMIEST HONORARY LECKBANDS! Wichita Falls, TX:  34/27

NOTES:  (1) It's not often that Beatrice beats out Norfolk. KUDO's to Matt & Carolyn. (2) My crack team of consultants insisted on making David & Carmen Honorary Leckband Temp Challenge Members today, since it is Carmen's birthday! And look who won a special designation?!

* Not quite truthful, but it's my blog.