DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING *

* courtesy of Reader's Digest, July/Aug 2020

"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."  Joan River  I used to jog regularly when we lived in Hawaii. There was never a reason to use weather as an excuse not to.

"Yo mama is so old, when she was young, rainbows were black & white."

TRENDS & COMMENTARY 

* "Pope urges believers to pray that A1 & robot 'always serve mankind." Ditto

* "Device puts music in head--no headphones required!" Ditto  Lois could have saved buying me earphones for our dating anniversary.

* Girlfriend keeps referring to herself as 'wife-elect' despite no official word from boyfriend." Babylon Bee

* Man on deathbed deeply regrets not spending more time arguing on Facebook." Ditto  I've tried very hard to quit arguing on Facebook.

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE . . . FLORIDA

"Meet George Jetson? Orlando unveils plan for first flying car hub." Drudge, 11/12  We're hoping to visit FL in February.

THERE IS NO PLAACE LIKE . . . MINNESOTA

* "MN Gov warns about talking too loudly." Drudge Report, 11/12

* Minneapolis violence surges as police officers leave department in droves." Drudge, 11/13  I have a great idea! Let's defund the police, then hire social workers to replace them!

POLITICAL POTPOURRI

* "New Bible features removable Romans 13 for when you don't like the president." Babylon Bee

* "Top officials:  2020 election most secure in US history." Drudge, 11/13  And COVID-19 is no more harmful than the common cold.

* "Septic tanks arrive in Washington to begin refilling swamp."  Babylon Bee

"So here we are in the wake of the most contested election in memory, and Trump may be officially declared the loser — even after he won his struggle to stop America’s leftward drift."  Victor Davis Hansen, National Review Online, 11/12/20

"Yet, despite its tremendous success, the United States is struggling to maintain its highest ideals. Hyperpartisanship and tribalism have a vice grip on the country and are wreaking havoc. If we don't get a grip on our current circumstances, the country we know may cease to exist for future generations."  Armstrong Williams, Townhall, 11/12/20