Jokes...Chick-Fil-A...Resolutions Check...Mental Health...Wine Delivery

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING *

* courtesy of Reader's Digest, April 2020

• "A market researcher approached me & said, 'Can I ask you ten questions?' 'Go on,' I said. 'Question #1:  Have you ever blacked out?' 'No.' 'And finally, question #10.'"
• "'Doc, I can't stop singing 'Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.'"
• "You want proof baseball players are smarter than football players? How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?"

TRENDING *

* courtesy of Babylon Bee

• "China: 'We've Completely Cured Coronavirus & Everything Is Fine Here & No One Is Allowed to Check"
• "Quarantined Journalist Really Starting To Annoy Family By Calling Them Racists All Day"
• "Chick-Fil-A Temporarily Changes Slogan To 'Eat Fewer Bats'"
• "Government Accidentally Shuts Itself Down With Ban On Non-Essential Businesses"
• "Pastor Caught Lip-Syncing Sermon"

ERRATA

Yesterday I posted that our Alaskan cruise had been cancelled. It was thoughtfully pointed out to me that is has NOT yet been cancelled. If it's still on, we will be given the option to re-book it for sometime in 2021.

RESOLUTIONS CHECK

1. Write a 365-day devotion book. Finished. Now I have to decide whether to try & have it published.
2. Average one road trip per month. We've had 4 road trips since Jan. 1, but the coronavirus may severely affect our ability to fulfill this resolution. [We already cancelled a trip to Minnesota. We do plan a road trip to Lincoln over Easter break. Contrary to what I wrote in yesterday's post, our Alaskan cruise has NOT yet been cancelled. We will be given the option to re-book for next summer. We'll try to take a scaled back road trip this summer.]
3. Add to our National Park & bucket list. Our plans for an Alaskan cruise & visit to two National Park in July are seriously jeopardized.
4. Lost at least 10 lbs. As of 3/30/20, I've lost 2 lbs. I am somewhat encouraged.
5. Work out at least 3X per week. I'm doing physical therapy 3X per week, but I'm not sure this qualifies. [I did walk around the block with Lois & the dog on Sunday. And I walked 2 miles yesterday with Lois, Rachel & Bentley.]
6. No Politics in my Mental Health Monday blog. It's challenging, but I'm working on it.
7. Receive a DNA report from Ancestry.com. Nothing happening so far.
8. Cut back on coffee. I'm averaging 2 cups of coffee per day. Self-quarantining is helping.

STAYING MENTALLY STRONG *

* Norfolk Daily News 3/27

•  Access reliable information sources.
• Seek information mainly to take practical tips to prepare your plans & protect yourself & loved ones.
• Share reliable information. Rely on & share trusted sources of information about the causes of outbreaks from reputable sources like the CDC.
• Keep connected.
• Keeps things in perspective. Keep informed but don't focus on factors you can't control.
• Practice self-care. Exercise regularly, keep regular sleep routines & eat healthy food.
• Be mindful of assumptions about others. Someone who has a cough or a fever does not necessarily have coronavirus.
• If you are feeling overwhelmed with emotions such as sadness, depression, anxiety, or feel like you want to harm yourself or someone else, talk to a mental health provider.

LAUGHTER 

"Neil Diamond posts a fireside rendition of 'Sweet Caroline' with its familiar lyrics tweaked to say, 'Hands...washing hands.' A news anchor asks when social distancing will end because 'my husband keeps trying to get into the house.' And a sign outside a neighborhood church reads: 'Had not planned on giving up quite this much for Lent.' Are we allowed to chuckle yet? We'd better, psychologists & humorists say. Laughter can be the best medicine, they argue, so long as it's within the bounds of good taste. And in a crisis, it can be a powerful coping mechanism."  Norfolk Daily News, 3/28

BIG PHARMA 

"Yes, they make money doing ti, but the profit motive is the reason why they exist in the first place. There's a reason we introduce more new therapies than any country in the world. When faced with what' been called a once-in-a-generation pathogen, would we rather have a robust commercial drug industry or not? Brilliant, creative people scattered throughout companies & universities working to be the first to a solution or not? Investors looking to back promising research or not? If your answer to any of these questions is 'no,' you are probably a socialist, a populist firing at the wrong targets or someone incapable of doing basic cost-benefit calculations."  Rich Lowry

POLITICS & CORONAVIRUS

The government is a giant, lumbering idiot. Sometimes we need a giant, lumbering idiot. Almost always, we do not. And those who have used this pandemic response -- one of the rare times we need a giant, lumbering idiot to intimidate people into preventing mass infection of one another, and to borrow the money necessary to redress the injuries thus incurred -- as a rationale for a government-run "new politics" should have their heads examined.  Ben Shapiro, Townhall

CORONAVIRUS

"Delivery dog offers curbside wine pickup"  Drudge Report
"90-year-old dies, after refusing ventilator: 'Keep this for the younger'  Drudge Report