Whatever Wednesday

Whatever

"Poo found on every McDonald's touchscreen tested." [Drudge Report, 11/28] Let's hear it for Burger King!"

Criminal Minds

"Woman passes gas in store, then pulls knife on offended customer." [Drudge Report, 11/28]  Consider yourself warned.

Political Potpourri

"Gore to host 24-hour 'Global Warming' special." [Drudge Report, 11/28] . Is it possible to yawn continuously for 24 hours? Inquiring minds want to know.

"Clintons play to hundred of empty seats on first date of tour." [Drudge Report, 11/28] . Speaking of yawning . . . 

Climate Change

"One can believe that climate change is a real concern, with some legitimate science on its side, while also believing there is a range of available policy options that do not conform to the liberal party line & declining to act in a spirit of righteous panic." [Jonah Goldberg *, 11/28] So, you want to know what I think about global climate change?

• It's possible. Earth has gone through a cycle of global climate change before.
• Even if it's possible, I consider it the ultimate hubris to think that we can do anything about it.
• Climate change proponents do themselves no favors by ignoring scientific studies that seem to contradict . . . 
• . . . which is why there are so many climate change skeptics.
• IF we are experiencing global climate change, & IF we take action to enact the global warming treaties that are extant, it would cost trillions of dollars with very little to show for it.

* One of my favorite partisan pundits

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing *

* From Reader's Digest, Nov. 2018

"There's literally no may to know how many chameleons are in your house."

"Tired of boiling water every time you make pasta? Boil a few gallons at the beginning of the week & freeze it for later."

"Cooking tip:  If you put too much water in your rice, toss a few phones in there."

Surreptitious Saturday

Turkeys + Black Friday + Ketchup + Pancakes + Patriotism

Favorite Taglines from Drudge Report (11/14)

"Study: Men with beards more attractive."  Well, duh.

(11/15)

• "TSA Sees Uptick in Travelers Packing Turkey into Bags" Carry-on or checked bags?" Inquiring minds want to know.
• "878,000 Millionaires Added in Year."  Don't bother asking me for a loan. I am not one of them.

(11/17)

• "Walking backwards boosts your memory?" Which is all well & good until you try to walk down an escalator backwards.
• "Consumers Can Track Thanksgiving Turkey's 'Life Story;' Personal Details Including Where He came from?"  This could be the most revolutionary concept for Thanksgiving since the invention of the green bean casserole.

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing *

* SOURCE:  Reader's Digest, Nov. 2018

• "I approximated the Black Friday experience at home by hurling myself into a wall a number of times & then ordering online."
• "What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?"

Criminal Minds

Norfolk Daily News (11/14):  Manager punched over ketchup. Police (in Santa Ana, CA) are seeking a woman who pushed, punched & choked a McDonald's manager because she wanted ketchup. Police . . . said the assault took place around 11 pm. on Oct. 27, when the drive-thru customer entered the restaurant through an employee door & asked for the condiment." I once ordered a Big Mac from the drive-thru, got home, & discovered there were no hamburger patties in it. This strikes me as somewhat more serious than ketchup.

Omaha World Herald (11/16):  "Inmate escaped jail, then had pancakes with mom. An inmate escaped from a Georgia jail with the help of his mom & then went out for pancakes. News outlets reported that 27-yr-old Joshua Gullatt & 54-year-old Kathy Lynn Pence were arrested TUE at an IHOP restaurant."  Employees got suspicious when the 27-yr-old asked for a spork.

Political Potpourri

OWH (11/16):  "Patriotism is a philosophy of national values:  It is a statement that your nation has values that are eternal, true & noble. American patriotism prizes God-given individual rights protected by limited government. Were American to lose God-given individual rights protected by limited government, it would no longer be America." [From "It's not nationalism vs. patriotism," column by Ben Shapiro]

OWH (11/17):  "Libertarian humorist P.J. O'Rourke once said, 'The Democrats are the party of government activism, the party that says government can make you richer, smarter, taller & get the chickweed out of your lawn. Republicans are the party that says government work, & then get elected & prove it.'" Too many of our late-night comedians have gone hyper-partisan. They use their platforms to self-righteously mock Americans who think differently than they do about politics--which further widens our division. [From "Effective wit is becoming a dying art in politics," column by Tom Purcell]

Whimsical Wednesday

There Is No Place Like . . . Missouri

Norfolk Daily News (11/8):  "Alligator found in hot tub. A (Kansas City) Missouri landlord stumbled upon an unwanted house guest while evicting a tenant:  a large alligator in a hot tub. The tenant described the 150 lb. reptile as 'gentle as a puppy.'"  My bet is that this tenant is originally from Florida.

My Favorite Taglines from The Drudge Report (11/13)

• "Lack of sunspots to bring record cold, warns NOAA scientist." Global climate change is responsible for sunspots?!
• "Woman steals live lobster from tank, feels restaurant." This can only be the work of PETL *. * People for the Ethical Treatment of Lobsters

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing *

"My granddaughter wanted a Cinderella-themed party, so I invited all her friends over & made them clean my house."

* Source:  Reader's Digest (Nov. 2018)

Surreptitious Saturday

Today's Thought + Grammar Lesson + Spanking

A PRAYER THAT NEVER CEASES 

“Behold, You delight in truth in the inward being, & You teach me wisdom in the secret heart.” (Ps. 51:6)

“The godly always talk as though they were sinners, as indeed they are; but because they are in the truth, they are loved by God & are in grace.”  Martin Luther Psalm by Psalm, Concordia Publishing House, 2017.

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing

"A linguistics professor is lecturing his class. 'In English,' he says, 'a double negative forms a positive. However, in Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative." A voice from the back shouts out, 'Yeah, right.'" [From Reader's Digest, Nov. 2018]

Spanking

Omaha World Herald (11/6):  "Pediatricians come out forcefully against spanking. The nation's leading pediatricians' group has strengthened its advice against spanking & other physical punishment because of the potential for long-term harm."  My parents spanked, & look how I turned out.

Free-for-All Friday

Politics + Green Bean Casserole + New Crocodile Hunter + SCOTUS

Political Potpourri

Here are some thoughts, following results of the midterm elections on TUE 11/6.

• "Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save." Ps. 146:3
• Voters who chose Democrats because they thought it would help promote civility will be sadly disappointed.
• DT should set the tone for civil discourse.
• By retaining + gaining seats in the Senate, Republicans will continue to have the power to appoint conservative justices to the federal judiciary. Yay!
• Someone once said--& I wish I could remember the source--"All politics is local."

R.I.P.

Norfolk Daily News (11/3):  "Casserole lady. The woman who created a Thanksgiving staple enjoyed by millions--the green bean casserole--has died at age 92. Campbell Soup officials said Dorcas Reilly was the driving force behind the popular dish, made with green beans & cream of mushroom soup & topped with crunch friend onions." This dispels conventional wisdom that it was served up by the Pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving feast.

Criminal Minds

Omaha World Herald (11/7):  "Boy, 11, leads police on high-speed chase--again. Police say an ll-year-old boy in Ohio led officers on his 2nd high-speed police chase in 13 months, this time after his mother took away a video game console." Imagine the mischief this rapscallion could get into if his mom took away his cell phone.

There Is No Place Like Florida

OWH (11/8):  "Man jumps into pool of crocodiles, is bitten. A 23-year-old (St. Augustine) man was bitten after breaking into a zoological park in FL & jumping into a pond full of crocodiles." A new Crocodile Hunter?

SCOTUS *

* Supreme Court of the United States

"For the last half-century, the Left has turned to the Supreme Court to win what it could not in the normal political process. The Court hAs embedded the sexual revolution into the Constitution & 'found" new progressive rights for privacy & dignity, as well as protections against animus *, in a document that mentions none of the above. Conservatives should not seek to overturn Roe because they are obsessed with abortion; they should demand its reversal because it represents a politicization of the S.C. & an abuse of the Constitution to short-circuit democracy in the service of the latest left-wing ideals of the day." [From "The New Supreme Court & Privacy Jurisprudence," by John Yoo & James Phillips, NRO (11/8/18).

* Hostile attitude, according to dictionary.com

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing *

* Courtesy of Reader's Digiest, (Oct. 2018)

• "The only way I'd be scared of a ghost is if one was coming at me wearing a fitted sheet that I thought I'd have to fold.
• "What do you call a group of really tidy witches? A self-cleaning coven.
• "Every time someone says 'I'm aware,' I always wait a couple of seconds in case they add 'wolf.'
• "I hate when boxing announcers say a boxer is 'down for the count.' I don't care that he loves Dracula. I just want to know who's winning."

Mental Health MON - SPECIAL WED edition

This is Part III of my post about bipolar disorders, which I began yesterday. You may recognize some of these symptoms in yourself, in loved ones, in others you know. This disorder is treatable! It usually requires medication & psychotherapy. Rather than self-diagnosis, you should consult a mental health professional. [My source is the Mayo Clinic website.]

MAJOR DEPRESSIVE EPISODE

"A major depressive episode includes symptoms that are severe enough to cause noticeable difficulty in day-to-day activities, such as work, school, social activities or relationships. An episode includes 5 or more of these symptoms:

• "Depressed mood, such as feeling sad, empty, hopeless or tearful (in children & teens, depressed mood can appear as irritability)
• Marked loss of interest or feeling no pleasure in all--or almost all--activities
• Significant weight loss when not dieting, weight gain, or decrease or increase in appetite (in children, failure to gain weight as expected can be a sign of depression)
• Either insomnia or sleeping too much
• Either restlessness or slowed behavior
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt
• Decreased ability to think or concentrate or indecisiveness
• Thinking about, planning or attempting suicide"

Other features of bipolar disorder

"Signs & symptoms of bipolar I & bipolar II disorders may include other features, such as anxious distress, melancholy, psychosis or others. The timing of symptoms may include diagnostic labels such as mixed or rapid cycling. In addition, bipolar symptoms may occur during pregnancy or change with the seasons."

Thought for Today

This is another excerpt that I found especially meaningful in light of today's topic.

GRACE ABOUNDS

“Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to Your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.” Ps. 51:1

“O God, no man or creature can help or comfort me, so great is my misery; for my affliction is not bodily or temporal. Thou alone, therefore, who are God & eternal, canst help me. Have mercy on me, for without Thy mercy all things are terrible & bitter to me.”  Martin Luther Psalm by Psalm, Concordia Publishing House, 2017.

Mental Health MON - SPECIAL TUE edition

Mania + Midterms + Mercy

This is Part II of my post about bipolar disorders, which I began yesterday. You may recognize some of these symptoms in yourself, in loved ones, in others you know. This disorder is treatable! It usually requires medication & psychotherapy. Rather than self-diagnosis, you should consult a mental health professional. [My source is the Mayo Clinic website.]

MANIA & HYPOMANIA

"Mania & hypomania are 2 distinct types of episodes, but they have the same symptoms. Mania is more severe than hypomania & causes more noticeable problems at work, school & social activities, as well as relationship difficulties. Mania may also trigger a break from reality (psychosis) & require hospitalization.

"Both a manic & a hypomanic episode include 3 or more of these symptoms.

• "Abnormally upbeat, jumpy or wired
• Increased activity, energy or agitation
• Exaggerated sense of well-being & self-confidence (euphoria)
• Decreased need for sleep
• Unusual talkativeness
• Racing thoughts
• Distractibility 
• Poor decision-making--for example, going on buying sprees, taking sexual risks or making foolish investments."

TOMORROW:  "Major depressive episode"

PoliticalPotpourri

I'm reasonably certain that you know that today is the midterm elections. I've been trying to avoid political commentary, but I have to comment after briefly listening to NPR on the way back from our TUE morning men's Bible study. A woman, identified as a Northern Virginia suburban mom was asked about her thoughts re:  today's elections. She reported that she's been a Republican & has even worked for prior Republican campaigns. This year she's voting Democrat because "I'm sick & tired of the divisiveness." Seriously? Voting for Democrats will help address our divisiveness? Sorry, but that's laughable. 

My prayer for today has been that we elect & re-elect men & women who fear God. I've prayed for God's Will to be done. I'm also aware that God allows us to suffer the consequences of our behavior. Regardless of who wins control of Congress, we will all feel the consequences. And that's all I have to say about that.

Thought for Today

A JOYFUL ANNOUNCEMENT

“My tongue will sing aloud of Your righteousness.” (Ps. 51:14)

“Remember that the righteousness of God is that by which we are justified, or the gift of the forgiveness of sins. This righteousness in God is pleasant, because it makes of God not a righteous Judge but a forgiving Father, who wants to use His righteousness not to judge but to justify & absolve sinners.”  Martin Luther Psalm by Psalm, Concordia Publishing House, 2017.