Groundhog Recipe + Felonious Children + Profound Political Commentary

It's Groundhog Day

Google "groundhog recipes & go to foodrepublic.com for what sounds like a mouthwatering recipe for this little appreciated source of protein. CAVEAT:  Not a big garlic fan. I would like that out. COMMENT:  I was at Hy-vee just yesterday, found no evidence of groundhog in the meat dept., & was too timid to ask about it.

From My "Whatever" Clippings File

Norfolk Daily News (1/9):  "Airborne nuptials:  Pope marries flight attendants on papal plane . . . " COMMENT:  I confess that I didn't bother to read the rest of the article, but this points to the abuses that Martin Luther attacked back in the day.

There Is No Place Like . . . *

* Source:  USA Today State-by-State (1/25):

• Los Angeles, CA:  "A man who smuggled 3 highly venomous king cobra snakes through the mail in potato chip canisters was sentence to 5 months in prison . . . " COMMENT:  Californians would have been more forgiving if the canisters had been labeled "Low Sodium King Cobra."
• Pierre, SD:  "A state lawmaker wants to require all of his colleagues to be drug-tested to ensure that they're 'clean.'"  

Criminal Minds

USA Today, State by State (1/25):  Madison, WI. "State . lawmakers are looking to legalize children's lemonade stands after one was shut down by Appleton police."  COMMENT:  I can neither confirm nor deny that this move was inspired by Loretta Lynch.

Climate Catastrophes

Minneapolis Star Tribune (1/17):  "Too cold here? Region sees 88 below. Temperatures in Russian's remote Yakutia region plunged to minus 88/6 degrees Fahrenheit in some areas. In the region of 1 million people, students routinely go to school even in minus 40 degrees. But school was cancelled TUE."  COMMENT:  Al Gore was quick to point out, "This is all about meteorology. Citizens of the Yakutia region were quick to point out, "Fly your huge carbon-footprint private jet here & we'll give you a lesson in meteorology.

Political Profundities

Omaha World Herald (12/23):  "Showtime sets release date for Colbert's animate Trump series."  COMMENT:  Because what we need on TV is another forum for overrated, intellectually lazy comedians to earn big money for cheap laughs. I'm just sayin' . . . 

OWH (1/10):  "Fitness chain cuts cable news as part of 'healthy way of life.' Lifetime Fitness has decided to eliminate all national cable network news stations from the RV screens at its 128 fitness centers in the U.S. & Canada. The removed channels include CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, & CNBC, according to the St. Paul Pioneer Press."  COMMENT:  Well done. Now lets cut ALL drive-by news shows on ABC, NBC, & CBS. [And you can't go wrong with TWC.]

Dept. of Shameless Joke Stealing *

* Source;  OWH Breaking Brad by Brad Dickson

• (1/3)  "Omaha police warned people not to ring in the New Year by firing guns. What is this, Hooterville?"
• (1/5) "There are a lot of new laws for 2018. Under a new eminent domain law, in Nebraska Scott Frost can seize your property with no explanation."
• (1/6) "A quick message for Omaha weather people. I don't need to know the 'feels like' temperature anymore. You are clearly sadists who enjoy making people miserable."
• (1/30) "CBS rebroasted the Democratic National Convention on SUN hight--wait, that was the Grammy awards."