whimsical wed...special tue edition
WED Whimsy . . . on THU!
From Omaha World Herald (8/22): "5 things that shouldn't be in your wallet. [Along w/my helpful commentary.]- "Social Security card. [I agree! I kept mine in my wallet(s) for years until I wised up & put mine in a secure place "off-site."]
- "Birth certificate or passport. [I've never had a passport & the thought of carrying my b.c. in my wallet never crossed my mind . . . until now.]
- "Extra credit cards. [Over the years I have steadily whittled down the # of credit cards in my wallet.] *
- "PINS & passwords. [I confess . . . I carry the PIN # that gets me access to my daughter's house . . . also to my grand-daughter's day-care.] **
- "Checks." [My spouse generally doesn't allow me to carry the checkbook with me; she would notice if checks were missing from it. Besides . . . wouldn't this defeat the purpose of a debit card?] ****
* What's in YOUR wallet?
** I also carry the license plate #'s for both vehicles, since whenever I'm asked by a hotel clerk for this information, I can't remember it & have to retreat to the parking lot. ***
*** And I carry a list of all my meds, too. I figure that if I ever suffered a medical emergency, EMT's would look in my wallet for my I.D. & find this list.
**** The one & only PIN # that I never forget, probably because it's the same one I've used since . . . none of your business.
Criminal Minds
Also from OWH (7/11): "Steal a rock from Gettysburg & risk the wrath of its curse . . . " [I've been to this site once--a side trip while attending a Hill Family Summer Reunion in Virginia. As a Civil War buff, I was awe-struck, but also frustrated, since I didn't get to spend nearly as much time there as I would have liked . . . Where was I? Oh, yeah . . . Not to worry about any curse on me {I can't speak for the rest of the Hill family.} "Take only pictures. Leave only foot prints." That's my motto. * ]
* I can neither confirm nor deny that one of The Sisters has a Civil War-era cannon in her front yard.
Food for Thought
Ditto OWH (8/17): "Coffee make you too jittery? There's a green alternative. Matcha tea has been touted as a superfood because it's high in antioxidants & vitamins. But most who drink it have a simpler mission: It's their morning cuppa. A majority of Americans drink at least one caffeinated beverage per day, but the side effects can be pleasant . . . For those people, (Vandana Sheth, a registered dietician for 18 yrs), recommends trying matcha. Matcha is green tea leaves crushed into a fine, electric green powder. Whisk the powder into warm or hot water, & it dissolves into a frothy drink . . . A normal serving of matcha contains less caffeine than coffee, around 70 mg compared w/coffee's 100 mg . . . " [Electric? Frothy? This is heresy . . . & I'll bet money that it's trendy among . . . wait for it . . . Millennials!]
Wonderful Wide World of Wacky Celebrities
Ditto (8/22): "'Brady' star makes huge profit selling house she bout at 11. Jan may have always played second fiddle to older sister Marcia on 'The Brady Bunch,' but she may be tops when it comes to real estate investing . . . actress Eve Plumb, who played Jan on the 1970s sitcom, has sold a Malibu beach house for $3.9 million, 47 years after buying it for $55,300 in 1969, when she was 11 years old." [I always felt sorry for Jan.]
There Is No Place Like . . .
Vermont?
From Sioux City Journal (8/10): "Oxen help move historic school house to original site. With dozens of oxen leading the way, a historic schoolhouse has been relocated to the original spot where a prominent African-American scholar & legislator was once its schoolmaster . . . The 105-ton timber-frame school building was moved MON up a hill by an engine on the back of a barge-like rolling platform that filled both lanes of the narrow country road. The 44 oxen, well, they were there more for show & to give the 900 or so onlookers a feel of what it might have been like to move the house back in the day." [I can neither confirm nor deny that 11 of those onlookers were members of P.E.T.O. * ]
* People for the Ethical Treatment of Oxen
Minnesota?
From Minneapolis Star Tribune (6/5): "We call it invasive; they call it lunch. A herd of goats is blissfully living in Purgatory. That is, in Minnetonka. The 22 goats are feasting away this summer on buckthorn & garlic mustard at Purgatory Park, part of the west metro suburb's experiment to see if the voracious creatures can help combat the spread of invasive species." [You say that this excerpt is dated? I say that news about goats is NEVER dated." * ]
* I also say that this is MY blog.
Political Whimsey or Whimsy *
Re: "She-Who-Should-Be-A-Convicted-Felon"
"As has been confirmed for the umpteen-billionth time this week, SWSBACF is corrupt & deceitful. She & her husband operate as if they are some medieval royal family, above the petty rules & customs that govern the little people. It's why I've been calling them the Medicis of the Ozarks for so long. If you don't think they are aloof, entitled graspers & grifters, it's probably because you haven't been paying attention . . . " *** Either spelling is acceptable, according to dictionary.com.
** SOURCE: From my favorite partisan pundit's column, "Hillary's Advantage: She's Boring, No Shocking," via Drudge report on 8/12, also posted on 8/12.
Re: "He-Who-Is-Not-Boring"
"HWINB is not boring. It's possible to love him or hate him, but nobody can be indifferent to him. When you drive past a part of town that has been blighted & run down all your life, you don't slow down to look at it. But if an 18-wheeler loaded w/bovine manure jackknifes on the highway, sending the cargo in all directions, whether you're horrified or amused, you've just gotta slow down to take a gander. This rubber-necking magnetism largely explains HWINB's primary victories, but it also explains his probable general election defeat. Enough primary voters loved the spectacle, but general election voters are apt to recoil at such a spectacle in the Oval Office." ** SOURCE: From my favorite partisan pundit's column, "Hillary's Advantage: She's Boring, No Shocking," via Drudge report on 8/12, also posted on 8/12.
Dept. of Cause & Effect
From Norfolk Daily News (8/18): "Target cuts outlook & profit forecast. Target Corp. cut its profit forecast & a key sales outlook WED as it saw fewer customers in its stores & acknowledged it didn't push the 2nd part of its 'Expect More, Pay Less' slogan."From OWH (8/20): "Amid policy backlash, Target to add single-stall restrooms. Target is preparing to spend $20 million in coming months to add single-stall bathrooms in its stores, the company said this week. The move is meant to accommodate shoppers concerned about the retailer's policy of allowing customers & employees to use the bathroom that corresponds to the gender they identify with. 'Some of our guests clearly are uncomfortable w/our policy, & some are really supportive," Cathy Smith, Target's CFO, said during a conference call w/reports." [Allow me to rephrase Ms. Smith's comments for her: "Some are really supportive . . . a gazillion are uncomfortable & are staying away from our stores in droves."]
BONUS FEATURE: Dept. of Secret Conversations!
SETTING: Conference room at major, mainstream media office.CNN: Gentlemen, the question remains, have we done enough damage control over our POTUS' ill-advised vacation at the expense of the massive flood catastrophe in Louisiana?
CBS: What was he thinking?
ABC: Remember how we laid into George W. for his fly-over after Katrina?
NBC: Some of our finest investigative journalism!
ALL: Hear! Hear!
MSNBC: He should have been impeached!
CNN: What are you even doing here? Get us some coffee . . . & pastries. Lots of pastries.
CBS: Well, at least he finally made it to Baton Rouge & promised massive federal assistance.
ABC: But not before HWINB beat him to the punch.
NBC: Shut your mouth!
ALL: A cynical, strategic, campaign ploy!
MSNBC: (while handing out coffee & pastries) Nothing more than a photo-op!
ALL: Shut up!
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