Exclusive political content + English vs Math majors + Ugly vegetables

whimsical Wednesday

Political Whimsy

I was on hiatus during the time of both the RNC & DNC, which was a burden . . . Not that I didn't follow the news & commentary--which may have been a mistake. [SEE my mental health MON 8/1 blog.] I continued to read newspapers & follow my favorite partisan pundits on-line. For example, here are taglines from the Drudge Report (7/28). [I didn't bother to read the articles.]

• "CLAIM: DNC Swaps Bernie Fans With Paid Seat Fillers . . . 
• "Fake Unity . . . 
• "Protestors Drown Out Former Obama CIA Director . . . 
• "'Godfather' Mocked at DNC, Given No Speaking Spot . . . 
• "Chaos Outside As Protestors Shove Police Blockafde, Breach Perimeter Fence . . . "
• "Obama Refers to Himself 119 Times During Hillary Nominating Speech . . . "
• "Passing the Baton...And $20 Trillion in Debt . . . "

This was all highly amusing to me, since it stood in stark contrast to what was generally being highlighted in the "drive-by media" and network news & commentary.

Re: "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Yet-Still-Got-Nominated"

From Lincoln Journal Star (7/26):  "DT * plans to fund super PACs targeting Cruz & Kasich. DT plans to create & fund super PACs aimed at ending the politifcfal careers of Ted Cruz & John Kasich should either run for office again, a source familiar w/DT's thinking told Bloomberg News . . . " [This source could neither confirm nor deny whether Trump understands that his opponent in November will be HC, * not TC * or JK. * ]

From my favorite partisan pundit's weekly newsletter, the "G-file," via the Drudge Report (7/30):  "I'm not going to revisit all my reasons for why I reject the idea that I should, out of partisan loyalty, transform myself into a pliant hack for a party whose nominee not only has contempt for me, but far more importantly, for most of the things that led me to wear the Republican label in the first place . . . I'm not going to let the GOP make me a liar for DT & I'm not going to let my contempt for DT make me a liar for HC. They are both awful, & if HC wins, my conscience will be clear, because the people responsible for that loss will be the ones who let this thin-skinned & bullying poltroon hijack the party in the first place." [If there's one criticism I have of JG, it's his inability to come right out & "call 'em as he sees 'em."]

* I've decided . . . perhaps temporarily . . . that I lack the physical & emotional stamina to type out the acronyms.

Re:  "She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Yet-Still-Got-Nominated-at-Least-in-Part-Because-of-Fraudulent-Machinations-of-Party-Officials-in-Cahoots-with-the-Mainstream-Media"

Also from LJS (7/26):  "DNC speakers defend HC. First lady M.O. stepped into the presidential election MON w/a forceful, impassioned defense of HC, casting her as the only candidate who can be trusted as a role model for the nation's children . . . "

TIME-OUT FOR AN EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW!

Thanks to my crack team of political reporters & commentators, * I am able to bring you this [barely] redacted transcript of an exclusive interview w/my C.T.P.R.C. [*] & M.O.

My team:  To clarify, Mrs. O, you stated that HC is the "only candidate who can be trusted as a role model for the nation's children?"

M.O. Absolutely.

My team:  Would that include standing by her husband in the wake of irrefutable allegations of sexual improprieties, possibly including rape, & publicly intimidating, along with aiding, & abetting the trashing of some of these women's reputations, including but not limited to accusing them of lying & insinuating that they were women of low moral character?
M.O. Uh . . . yes?
My team:  And would such role-modeling include the acceptance of ungodly fees from Wall Street cronies & humongous corporations, all the while castigating them for their greed?
M.O. Uh . . . OK?
My team:  And are our children to adopt as a role model someone who knowing told lies to the families of those killed in Benghazi, then called these same families liars when they disputed what she told them?
M.O. Uh . . . Where's my Secret Service entourage?
My team:  Wait! One last question! Does a role model hire the woman who publicly acknowledged her role in "stacking the deck" against her political opponent?
[Sounds of scuffling & sound equipment being trashed.]

News to Hearten English Majors

From Omaha World Herald (5/8);  "Professor's math didn't equal airplane threat. An Ivy League professor said his flight was delayed because a fellow passenger thought the math equations he was writing might be a sign he was a terrorist . . . " [Well, boo hoo hoo, Mr. Math Major. I have yet to run across any similar drama re:  English majors. * ]
* And I promise that it wasn't me who turned in this quasi-terrorist.

Food for Thought

Also from OWH (8/1):  "Produce vendors reveal the ugly truth. The future of produce is ugly:  Twisted, blemished, mutated & deformed, to be specific. That's because an increasing number of grocery chains & crop-sharing services have begun stocking & distributing fruits & vegetables that were once deemed unfit for sale based solely on appearance. To be clear, these goods aren't damaged or rotten or distasteful. If a chef chopped them up & served them in a souffle', most consumers would never know the difference. The goods' banishment from shelves was purely produce prejudice." 

• [Sorry, but I WOULD KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
• Asparagus, brussel sprouts, beets, & a few other nasties have been & will continue to be banished from my plate.
• I would include broccoli, but I occasionally compromise my standards & swallow it in microscopic portions, usually when it's mixed in with stir-fry.
• If this be prejudice, so be it . . . & I will do my best to convince my grand-children to carry on the tradition.]

There Is No Place Like . . . California!

Also from OWH (6/23):  "Amid uproar, Special Ed's Brewery changes its name. Special Ed's Brewery, which saw its name & slogans go viral amid complaints that they were insulting to special needs children, has changed its name effective immediately . . . " [Requires no comment.]

Wednesday Whimsy:                                                                             

Dept of Comic Strip Dialogue Which I Found Especially Whimsical

From "Pearls Before Swine" OWH (7/28)

Pig:  Hey, Goat. This is my pal, Linda. She's never been promoted & her employer doesn't appreciate her attempts to break the glass ceiling.

Goat:  They're sexist?

Linda:  I work in a greenhouse.

Pig:  She just can't stop throwing rocks.

Linda:  It's fun to break those little panes.

Goat:  I get it. Stop.

Ditto, OWH (7/27)

Rat:  If you could have a conversation with one person, living or dead, who would it be?

Pig:  The living one.
- - - - -

Pig:  You must think I'm really stupid.