Special THU Edition!! Whimsical WED
I'm not feeling very whimsical today . . . The killing hadn't even stopped in Orlando before both appointed & self-appointed spokespeople of all ilks started politicizing it. * So, my heart wasn't in it yesterday, which is why I couldn't summon the emotional energy to post a blog entry. I'll try again today, even though it's almost 4:30p (CDT). **** Which, I might & will add, was as predictable as She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named achieving her party's nomination to run for POTUS. **
** Further exclusive political news & commentary will be reserved for my frightful FRI blog entry.
*** Quick reminder . . . I blog for self-therapy . . . Purposely looking for the whimsical is one among a plethora of activities that may be helpful for someone who suffers from chronic depression. ****
**** DISCLAIMER: I am NOT a mental health specialist.
There Is No Place Like . . .
Alaska?
Norfolk Daily News (4/26): "Not dangerous. Authorities said the green water flowing in the Ketchikan Creek that caused some panic & drew a response from multiple agencies was the result of a prank . . . Officials have determined that the dye dumped into the water on WED is non-toxic. Ketchikan police talked to the man responsible for the dye, but he was not arrested or cited." [This item also qualifies for Criminal Minds . . . My guess? He was not arrested or cited because he was an "undocumented" citizen . . . & I am NOT a hater!"]Brazil?
From USA Today-Weekend Edition (4/22-24): "'Wish I was in Dixie'--in Brazil; town embraces Confederate flag; Santa Barbara D'Oeste, Brazil. Bruno Lucke is a 9-yr-old w/a sweet smile, a love of soccer & his own YouTube channel. He also wears a cap w/the Confederate battle flag emblazoned on its peak. This city of more than 180,000, an hour's flight from Rio de Janeiro, site of this summer's Olympic Games, is perhaps the last place you'd expect to find the most controversial symbol in American history. It adorns everything from belt buckles to bumper stickers among the Fraternidate Descendecia Americana, an organization that celebrates the emigration of a group of defeated Southerners to Brazil after the Civil War 150 years ago. Yet in Santa Barara d'Oeste there is no negative association w/the flag that many Americans see as a symbol of slavery & segregation . . . " [I'm a little surprised that we haven't seen demonstrations @ the Brazilian embassy in Washington, D.C. . . . maybe I just missed them.]California?!
Omaha World Herald (6/10): "El Nino's epitaph: Not quite enough to refresh CA. This year's monstrous El Nino nicknamed Godzilla by NASA, is dead. It heated up the globe but didn't quite end CA's 4-year drought . . . " [I've mentioned in previous blogs that I grant NASA little or no credibility to NASA anymore, based on the impeccable credentials of my sources re: anything climate-related . . . I still feel for my familial connections in CA.]Also from NDN (4/12): Goat guest. Police said a goat apparently needed a caffeine fix when it wandered into a Starbucks in Northern CA . . . " [As someone whose on-again-off-again caffeine dependence is decidedly on the ON side of the spectrum again these days, I totally sympathize with the goat . . . It is my hope that Starbucks did the right thing . . . DEPT. of Imaginary Headlines: "CA Starbucks First to Keep Live Goat on Site for Unique Goat Milk Latte's & Cappuccino's."}
Also from NDN (4/25): "Averting train crash. Riverside authorities say a quick-thinking police helicopter crew shined its spotlight to alert a train's crew of a car on the tracks, narrowly averting a collision." [I can neither confirm nor deny that the driver of this car fell asleep due to caffeine-withdrawal while on his way to take a selfie. SEE related story which follows.]
Also from OWH (4/27): "Whale provides really smelly selfies. The massive, reeking carcass of a whale rotted TUE at a popular CA surfing spot, luring dozens of gawkers while authorities decided whether to tow it out to sea or cut it into pieces & load them on trucks . . . " [I can neither confirm nor deny that authorities were also intimidated by a small but very vocal & boisterous group from P.E.T.R.W.C. * . . . Also, isn't it just like Californians to drop all they're doing--probably even in the middle of changing a baby's diaper or helping a little old lady cross the street--drive possibly hundreds of mile, just to take a selfie of a rotting whale carcass? Don't you people have rotting squirrel carcasses in your neighborhoods & deer carcasses along your highways, just like Nebraska?
* People for the Ethical Treatment of Rotting Whale Carcasses
Also from OWH (4/29: "Whale on CA beach sent to landfill. Crews used earth-moving equipment THU to begin removing a massive gray whale carcass from Southern CA's San Onofre State Beach . . . " [According to my highly reliable but unnamed sources, P.E.T.R.W.C. demonstrators reluctantly unchained themselves from the rotting whale carcass only after officials assured them that a shrine at the site of the rotting carcass would be left intact AND that the carcass would receive a dignified burial, supervised by an indigenous shaman, at an EPA-approved landfill . . . located in Nevada.]
Colorado?
Also from NDN (4/26): "Wandered off. "A greater one-horned rhino was able to leave part of its enclosure at the Denver Zoo & wander into a yard occupied by staff & volunteers . . . " [My impeccable yet unnamed sources can neither confirm nor deny that zoo employees were negligent due to the effects of suspicious, toxic "clouds," masquerading as air pollution.] ** One could & should argue that this IS a form of air pollution.
Florida?
Omaha World Herald (4/29): "Zoo defends decision not to kill tiger that attacked keeper. A FL zoo is defending its decision to tranquilize rather than kill a rare Malayan tiger that had attacked a keeper & was preventing rescuers from giving her aid . . . " [Nobody would have questioned a zoo's decision to kill a rare tiger if it was thought that any human being's live was in danger, would they? Would they?! . . . Wait . . . what?!]Hawaii?
Lincoln Journal Star (5/20): "Shark study seeks to explain bites. "New research related THU shows tiger sharks naturally favor waters near Maui that are close to some of the Hawaii's most popular beaches for humans . . . " [I may not be a marine biologist, & I didn't read the rest of the article, but let me summarize the talking points, which were undoubtedly articulated after months of expensive research conducted by highly-skilled government operatives. Here goes {1} Tiger sharks have been swimming in waters near Maui for centuries. {2} Popular beaches for humans are inhabited by a lot of, well, humans. {3} If you put a large number of humans into close proximity with a fair number of tiger sharks, the probability of shark bites will increase. There now . . . that wasn't so hard to figure out . . . & I'll bet I could have come to that conclusion without expending a lot of effort & without expending a lot of tax dollars . . . I'm just sayin'.]I found this link while browsing the Drudge Report on TUE 6/14 . . . Link re: snow on Mauna Kea. [Lois & I have visited Mauna Kea & driven past the foot of this extinct(?) volcano. One time when I flew out of Maui, as the plan banked around Mauna Kea [or it might have been Mauna Loa] to make the turn back toward Oahu, snow was clearly covering the peak of the volcano. I don't remember what time of year it was.]
South Dakota?
Also from OWH (5/3): "Fireworks linked to pollution at Mt. Rushmore. "Past fireworks displays at Mt. Rushmore National Memorial are the likely source of a pollutant found in water on the memorial grounds . . . according to a government report released MON . . . " [My first question would be, "Is this conclusion based on research by NASA? My comments? I'm glad you asked. Fireworks & Mt. Rushmore go together like "He-Who-Is-Now-Absolutely-Positively-Irrelevant-But-Was-a-Great Distraction-for-a-Long-Time" & a love for all things Venezuelan.]
Massachusetts?!
Also from OWH (4/18): "Rescued calf is companion for blind cow who lost pig. A calf that spent several days on the loose in MA is now a companion for a blind cow who recently lost a pig playmate. The cow, Baby, lives at the Don't Forget Us Pet Us animal sanctuary in Darmouth . . . " [According to my highly esteemed yet anonymous sources, there was great rejoicing among the protestors linked to P.E.T.B.C. * & P.E.T.R.C.C. **]* People for the Ethical Treatment of Blind Calves
** People for the Ethical Treatment of Rescued Calf Companions
Also from NDN (4/26): "To die for. The owner of a new wester MA ice cream shop said his delicious dishes are 'a taste to die for.' That's because Petros Murices is opening his ice cream parlor in a former funeral home in Chicopee." [No further comment needed.]
NEBRASKA! *
* Most of these items need no further comments from me. **
** Most . . . but not all.
Ditto OWH (5/31): "For his 9th birthday, Nebraskan takes leap of faith--from 2 1/2 miles up. Grand Island. Jumping out of a plane for the 1st time is a big step. Before he abandoned a plane 2 1/2 miles up, though, Marvin Donner wasn't concerned . . . "
Ditto NDN (4/26): "Omaha police have announced the death of a squirrel that hung out around police headquarters & had his own Twitter following . . . "
Ditto OWH (4/30): "Choir branches out to help plant pine tree. Members of Bancroft Elementary's 5th & 6th grade choir planted a tree FRI . . . "
Ditto OWH 6/13): "Ride is a showcase of Nebraska's beauty. 425 people take part in the 740-mile bicycle trek, battling heat & wind . . . " [What say you, RAGBRAI partisans?]
Countdown to 2016 Hill Family Summer Reunion
For those to whom it matters, * the 2016 Hill Family Summer Reunion begins 14 calendar days from today on THU 6/30. in the Twin Cities.
* Hill family members, both familial ** & camp followers
** Just a friendly reminder that I qualify as a familiar member. IF I choose to post an entry about the Hill Family 2016 Summer Reunion this SUN 6/19, I will try to remember to refresh your memories.
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