Anniversary Odyssey + M.O.A. Musings

Hill Family Summer Reunion 2016 Exclusive                                                Special 41st Wedding Anniversary Odyssey Edition

Those of you who were expecting exclusive Hill Family Summer Reunion 2016 Exclusive Information may be disappointed. Instead of the exclusive facts about the Twin Cities that I originally promised, I decided to continue my Wedding Anniversary Odyssey Edition. I apologize IF you feel betrayed.

Odyssey Highlights::SAT 6/4

• Laura made a biscuits & gravy casserole for breakfast. It was delicious. [WARNING! DIGRESSION FOLLOWS!!] I am a biscuits & gravy kind of guy, which is pretty amazing, considering that we never had biscuits & gravy when I was growing up in Concordia, MO. I am always disappointed when the complimentary breakfast bar @ a hotel is lacking in biscuits & gravy cuisine. Casey's, believe it or not, * has delicious biscuits & gravy available for take-out. Hy-Vee also serves a delicious biscuits & gravy entree.

* Seriously, believe it or not. I don't care . . . It's my blog.

• I made a solo trip to Mall of America . . . despite my apprehension about possible terror threats made by P.E.T.N. * I accomplished all of my goals. {1} Found & purchased both the St. Paul Pioneer Press & Minneapolis Star-Tribune [a hopelessly "progressive" newspaper, while pales in comparison to my favorite home-town newspaper, the Norfolk Daily News.] {2} Took advantage of the plethora of culinary choices @ the one-&-only, original Food Court. {3} Ordered & enjoyed Chinese food & read my two newspapers, carefully marking articles for later use in future blogs. {4} Circumnavigated two full circuits of the Mall, thereby surpassing my pathetic fitbit step-count on FRI 6/3. {4} I can neither confirm nor deny that I enjoyed a "healthy," frozen yogurt-based confection while finishing the Pioneer Press.

* People for the Ethical Treatment of Norwegians

WHY I LIKE VISITING MALL OF AMERICA

I typically loathe most shopping expeditions, so it follows that I typically loathe most shopping destinations. Not so re:  M.O.A. Here are a few things that I enjoy about M.O.A.

• People watching. I saw a guy who looked amazingly like Biff [from the "Back to the Future" movie franchise] . . . so much so that I was tempted to walk past him another 20 yards, turn around & yell, "Hey, Biff!" just to see if he'd respond. Fortunately, I possessed enough self-control to realize that if I yelled "Hey, Biff!" I would undoubtedly engender multiple responses from multiple mall-walkers, not just Biff . . . Then there was the lady who looked like the villainess . . . can't remember her name . . . that was a constant thorn in the flesh for the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers . . . Plus a multitude of men, both young & old, that reminded me why I STRONGLY dislike the current male fashion trend of short hair, long, shaggy, uneven, unkempt beards . . . C'mon, fellas! Where's your pride?!
• Plethora of shops & restaurants. There must be a dozen shops that sell nothing but ties . . . at least one shop that sold a myriad of bees-wax products . . . A cheese shop that always offers free samples [As usual, there were too many people lined up, so I had to pass.] . . . A shop that advertised over 100 types of spicy sauces [Also offering free samples, but I was still full from lunch] . . . Bubba Gump's . . . Rainforest Cafe . . . Tony Roma's . . . Buffalo Wild Wings . . . A & W Root Beer . . . Cry Me a Liver [Didn't strike me as all that appetizing.]
• Cleverly named shops. "Minn-A-So-DUH" . . . "Mess-o'-Pot-Tamia" [They sold kitchenware, not medicinal pot.] . . . Forever 21. [OK, that's not clever . . . It's just dumb. Who would want to be "forever 21?" Plus, I observed a plethora of people in this store--I had to walk through it to get to & from the parking garage--who were anything other than 21-years-old.]
• M.O.A. Nostalgia. I saw my first Jackie Chan Movie [Rumble in the Bronx] at the movie theater in Mall of America. I was Principal at the Lutheran High School of Hawaii. I was on a trip to the mainland & had detoured to the Twin Cities so I could interview a couple of teacher candidates from Concordia St. Paul. Due to a mix-up in communication, the candidates I had planned to interview were on music tour, so I had extra time on my hands. The luxury hotel where I lodged [By "luxury hotel," I mean Motel 6.] was right across the freeway from M.O.A. My love affair with martial arts movies in general & Jackie Chan movies in particular had its origins on this trip.
• My favorite itinerary at M.O.A. back in the day? Glad you asked . . . {1} Stop & buy newspapers. {2} Find a Starbucks. Order latte' #1. Read newspaper #1. {3} Find a Gloria Jean's. Order latte' #2. Read newspaper #2. {4} Find a Barnes & Noble. Buy a Wild West or Civil War Times magazine. {5} Find a Caribou Coffee. Order latte' #3. Start reading my magazine. {6} Find Food Court. Order Chinese food. Continue reading my magazine.

Where was I? Oh, yeah . . . Odyssey Highlights::SAT 6/4

• After I returned to Nathan & Laura . . . and Calvin's! . . . I took a nap while Lois & Laura made a shopping trip to Ikea [Motto:  "We're the store that sells a plethora of faux Scandinavian items at outlandish prices . . . & you have to find a way to fit them into your car, take them home, & put them together yourself. Bwah, hah, hah!"] & Nathan "baby-sat" Calvin.
• After the girls returned home, we "freshened up" [By "freshened up," I mean, I put on a clean shirt.], then treated Nathan & Laura to supper @ Houlihan's for their anniversary [June 2] . . . The food was delicious . . . Laura had some kind of chicken breast, stuffed w/an exotic cream-cheese based filling . . . Nathan had Yankee pot roast [Although I was raised south of I-70, I do not take offense @ "Yankee" pot roast . . . I'm not a hater.] . . . Lois had some kind of flatbread with toppings that included  squash, zucchini, bacon, & sweet potato [As a rule, I do not like sweet potatoes, but I digress.] . . . I had panko-crusted shrimp . . . Calvin was very well-behaved, even though there was no kids' menu . . . I almost forgot . . . We also shared a pitcher of red sangria.
• By the time we got home it was time to wind down.

Today's Agenda . . . Pretty Low-Key

• I got up early again today, if for no other reason than to enjoy some quality time with Calvin, especially before his grand-mother gets up & I lose first rights to him . . . The little boy wakes up around 5:00 a.m., happy, smiling, chattering . . . all without the benefit of a few cups of dark roast coffee . . . truly amazing!
• Laura is giving him a bath, which he enjoys . . . sounds of laughing & cooing are coming from the bathroom . . . I'm already feeling a little sad that we'll be saying good-bye later this afternoon . . . Is there a place for sentiment in my blog? Of course there is, because . . . It's my blog!
• We'll go to church this morning, have lunch with Nathan & Laura [Not at church, as far as I know] . . . and Calvin! . . . then hit the road sometime early in the afternoon.
• Our destination is Sioux City, where we'll spend the night . . . Lois promised that we could eat supper @ Red Lobster, since we have a gift card [Crab legs!] . . . She has shopping plans tomorrow . . . I have an appt w/my doctor in Dakota Dunes . . . Then it's back to Norfolk.