Anniversary Whimsy + Promposals + Asparagus "Rant"

41st Wedding Anniversary Odyssey Whimsy

If you have followed me on FB for sometime, you may recall that last summer Lois & I enjoyed our 40th Wedding Anniversary Odyssey by treating ourselves to a grand trip out West. Our stops last summer included:

• Scotts Bluff National Monument in Nebraska
• Ft. Laramie
• Grand Tetons National Park
• Yellowstone National Park
• Little Bighorn Battlefield National Historic Site
• Wall Drug in Wall, SD
• A plethora of other sites & historical markers too numerous to mention

This year's Wedding Anniversary [Our anniversary was TUE 5/31, by the way. *] Odyssey is more modest in scope & sequence. Our tentative schedule includes:

• TUE 5/31:  We left Norfolk, NE, yesterday around 11:00a, enjoyed lunch in a small-town cafe, **, & spent the night at the The Historic Lodge of Forest City, ***, which will be our home base in the aforementioned City.
• WED-THU 6/1-2:  We plan to spend our days in & around Forest City, Ventura & Clear Lake, IA, where--besides exploring state parks & the many anticipated attractions of what we expect to be "Lake Okoboji Lite"--we will get to visit our niece & her family; also my brother & sister-in-law, who will be traveling from Garrison, IA. ****
• FRI-SUN 6/3-5:  Our odyssey will conclude in grand fashion with a weekend in the Twin Cities, where we will most assuredly enjoy a weekend w/our newest grand-child, Calvin, born to our Son Nathan & Daughter-in-Law Laura on 1/22/16; before returning home to Norfolk.

* Forget to send us a card . . . a modest gift . . . an immodest gift? No worries! It's definitely not too late. I have something special in mind for Lois . . . Personally, I have everything I need, just being married to the little woman. So, send your checks, made out either to "Paul Leckband" or "cash," & I'll let you know what she received as a late anniversary present from "us."

** We do our best to avoid fast found & other franchise-oriented restaurants on our road trips. Last night we ate at Shooterz(?) in Forest City. I enjoyed the "all-you-could-eat" pasta bar . . . & all I could eat was one serving of shrimp & faux crab meat pasta w/a plethora of vegetables . . . I've really lost my edge . . . But I digress.

*** That's right. We didn't settle for just any lodge . . . We're staying at the "historic" Lodge!

**** Nickname: "The Town That Time Forgot . . . or Neglected . . . or Ignored." I can never remember for sure . . . Except that it has a splendid library, due almost entirely to the ceaseless & energetic efforts & expertise of my sister-in-law, Christy. *****

***** While in college, I worked in the libraries of St. Paul's College, Concordia, MO; & Concordia Teachers College in Seward, NE . . . but once again, I digress . . . & once again I'll remind you that it doesn't matter to me, because this is my blog.

Why Forest City, Iowa?

Excellent question!

1. "On the afternoon of May 2, 1890, a large meteor exploded over Winnebago Co. Sightings were reported as far away as South Dakota. The Forest City Meteor, as it came to be known, showered an 8-sq.-mi. area w/meteorites, many of which are now displayed in museums across the country. The largest piece weighed 81 lbs." [Source:  AAA Tourbook: North Central]
2. As Lois & I walked the hiker-biker trail along the Winnebago River, adjacent to The Historic Lodge grounds last evening, alas, we countered no signs of any meteorites. *
3. We've never stayed in Forest City before.
4. We're only 20 minutes from Ventura. **
5. I give all the credit to my bride of 41 years *** for researching likely places to stay & finding this lodge . . . this HISTORIC lodge, which boasted a fairly reasonable rate & where we enjoyed a very tasty, homemade coffee cake, compliments of their continental breakfast buffet this morning. 

* We did, however, encounter many signs of rogue geese evidence, forcing us to be extra vigilant during our stroll of over one mile.

** Town motto: "Western Gateway to Clear Lake--Lake Okoboji Lite."

*** Of wedded bliss!

Criminal Minds . . . Special June 1st Edition

From Norfolk Daily News (4/15):  "Not appropriate. A Des Moines school district spokesman has confirmed that 9th-grade girls hired a male stripper to perform at their school's synchronized swimming club's annual banquet. District spokesman Phil Roeder said the Roosevelt H.S. principal will decide whether the girls violated school policies & punishment is merited. A father of one of the team members said the girls employed the stripper as a joke, & that the stripper didn't totally disrobe." ["Why Our Country Is Going to Hell in a Handbasket" Dept: {1} "Will decide WHETHER the girls violated school policies." {2} "The girls employed the stripper as a joke...the stripper didn't TOTALLY disrobe."]

Also from NDN (4/26):  "Suing over soup. A Texas lawyer upset that he wasn't provided a cup of soup during a recent meal has notified a restaurant owner that he'll sue if not reimbursed the $2.25 for the soup . . . (The lawyer) said the soup was listed on the menu as part of a Saturday special. He said the restaurant offered no discount or substitution when it ran out. The lawyer argued the menu amounts to a contract with the customer & (the owner) violated the terms of the contract.
      "But the restaurateur said the menu makes clear the soup comes with a meal 'while supplies last.'" [Dept. of Imaginary Brain Conversations:  "Business has been really slow. How can I get some free publicity? I know just the ticket! Hmmm. I wonder why business has been really slow?"]

From Omaha World Herald 4/27): "Promposals add to the parent-paid tab. U.S. parents are accustomed to being treated like human cash machines during prom season, spending close to $1,000 to guarantee that a h.s. dance doesn't become an emotional catastrophe. [The first time my wife & I helped chaperone a prom, she spent part of the evening in a restroom, attending to a young lady who was repeatedly throwing up because she--the young lady, not my wife--came to prom drunk, then swallowed some pills that a friend gave to her. Eventually, paramedics had to be called. This was NOT an LHNE prom by the way.] A hundred bucks for tickets & hundreds more for fancy clothes--even the corsage costs $20. And before any of that begins, your kids wants $300 for a promposal. Wait, a what?
      "A promposal is an elaborate invitation to prom--a concert that first gained Web traction in 2011 & now is an institution alongside limo rentals & after parties . . . 
      "Students who experience a promposal are sometimes on the receiving end of an outrageous, & often complex, feat of planning. One promposal that went viral involved the purchase of Kanye West's popular sneaker, the Boost. Another promposal, less expensive but much more difficult to pull off, involved Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz reading a promposal script on behalf of a teenager. [Apparently this self-less act of charity did nothing to boost "He-Who-Resembles-a-Lutheran-High-Government-Teacher's" campaign.] For the rest it can be expensive cosmetics, Beyonce' tickets or even a puppy. One thing they all have in common is that parents are picking up some, or all, of the tab.
      "Promposal spending varies around the country:  New England families w/teenagers come in a $431 per proposal, compared w/$342 in the West, $305 in the South & $218 in the Midwest. Promposals are so prolific that they're becoming the most expensive part of the event.
      "Total spending on prom--including the cost of clothing, transportation, tickets, food, photographs & the after party--is down since 2013, when it was $1,139 . . . In 2014, it fell to $978 & again last year . . . to $919.
      "Conventional wisdom would assume that wealthier families spend more on proms & promposals . . . but families making less than $25,000 per year spend $1,393 o proms, compared w/families that earn more than $50,000 spending just $799 . . . [Dept of Imaginary Conversations:  MOM: The dryer just stopped working, the dog is having convulsions, & we just got a 2nd notice from the bank about our delinquent mortgage payments. DAD: What do you expect from me? I make less than $25,000 per year! TEENAGE SON: Hey, Dad! Can I have $1,393 for a promposal, prom tickets, tux, flowers, pictures & limo? DAD:  Sure, son. The cash I've been saving for your little sister's 8th grade graduation tattoo is in a tin can underneath the bed in the spare room. SON:  What's a tin can?]

Also from OWH (5/5):  "Chemist who worked on drug cases was usually high. Investigators say a former chemist who tested drugs for MA police departments was high almost every day she went to work for 8 yrs, potentially putting thousands of criminal convictions in jeopardy . . . "  [Also qualifies for "There Is No Place Like Massachusetts" . . . And I had to check twice to make sure this wasn't a news item from our neighbors in CO.]

Also from NDN (5/10): "The FL man who threw an alligator through a drive-thru window is now throwing himself on the mercy of the court . . . James was arrested in FEB on charges that he threw the 3 1/2 ft gator into a Wendy's last OCT . . . James told WPTV he is sorry for throwing the alligator & said it was a stupid stunt. He had found the gator by the side of the road. . . . No one was hurt by the gator, which was captured & returned to the wild. [A spokesman for PETAFSR * called it a long-awaited victory for animal rights. A spokesperson for the alligator said, "My client really likes Wendy's chili."]
* People for the Ethical Treatment of Alligators Found by the Side of the Road

Also from NDN (5/17):  "Thrill-seeking alarms. Police said 4 central PA volunteer firefights called in 5 false alarms earlier this year because they enjoyed the thrill of riding in fire trucks . . . The suspects were all probationary members w/fewer than 90 days of service w/the fire department." [Apparently they hadn't reached that stage in their training re:  maintaining a balance between "thrill-seeking fire truck rides" & professional ethics.]

Also from OWH (5/19):  "Asparagus, freedom at stake in case of U.S.A. v. Ol' Doc. In the beginning, before the warnings, the tickets, the surveillance cameras, the arrest & the federal trial--before he fought the law & lost--Ol' Doc Stratbucker just wanted to grow vegetables. He wanted to grow one vegetable, specifically, a spring veggie that he thinks is often raised badly in NE . . . And he wanted to do it on a particular plot of ground, a thin piece of land that runs along a dead-end minimum maintenance road a couple of miles outside Ft. Calhoun. 
      "'Everything about that ground make it particularly advantageous to grow asparagus,' Stratbucker says. 'And that's what I wanted to do.' Everything made it advantageous, except one thing:  This piece of land is owned by the federal government, the courts say.
      "It's part of the Boyer Chute National Wildlife Refuge, thousands of acres set aside to protect fish, wildlife & habitat along the Missouri River."

• [Ordinarily I am one of the biggest opponents of big government. {Or is it one of the biggest proponents of small government? I've been working on this blog for too long this morning. My leg is falling asleep, & I am having trouble maintaining  my focus . . . Who just said, "How can we tell the difference?'!}
• In this particular instance, I can't say I'm opposed to government intervention in the case of "Ol' Doc's" blatant disregard of government property, which, I might add, is property paid for & maintained by my tax money.
• Where might this end? Sweet corn grown on top of Mt. Rushmore? Strawberries grown on Last Stand Hill on the Little Bighorn Battlefield? And I LIKE sweet corn & strawberries.
• Listen carefully, "Ol' Doc" . . . You get no sympathy from me. You don't like how you're being treated by Big Brother? Move to Canada, where I'm sure there are hundreds of thousands of acres set aside by the Queen Mother to protect asparagus. And why do I have this sneaking suspicion that you are a supporter of "He-Who-Has-Become-An-Ever-Growing-Thorn-in-the-Flesh-of-She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named?"]
• DISCLAIMER:  I hate asparagus.]