fitbit update + NLSW anecdotes

It's National Lutheran Schools Week . . . But First . . . 

fitbit Update

I confess that I have been somewhat * slothful in checking my progress on my fitbit lately [for a variety of reasons that are none of your business]. On Wednesday, I got serious again. Temperatures were a little milder. I had remembered to bring my boots back from Sarah's, & Lois had informed me that Sammy has been tearing the stuffing out of the "mattresses" in his kennel, perhaps in protest that neither of us have been taking him out much lately.

In any case, I took Sammy for three walks on Wednesday & totaled around 12,600 steps. Impressed? I also slipped on the ice & fell during our early a.m. walk. Fortunately, I slipped next to the curb & landed in a snow bank, suffering nothing worse than a very sore left shoulder. When I told Lois later that day, she was very solicitous. ** But I digress.
* Very
** Yeah. Right.

It's National Lutheran Schools Week

I had originally planned to be more ambitious, but time * seemed to get away from me this week. Now it's Friday! Whatever. Here are some salient points.

• I am in Lincoln again this weekend, helping Sarah with my grand-daughters. This enabled me to accompany Hadley, my 6-yr-old twinkie **, to VIP Day @ Trinity Lutheran School. ***
• I'm going to share a few anecdotes from my time serving in Lutheran schools.
• Tomorrow my plan is to reminisce about some of the role models I was privileged to have as teachers & peers while attending & serving in Lutheran schools.

Luther North Chicago

From 1975-1980, I taught English & coached at Luther High School North in Chicago. It was my first call out of Concordia Seward. A spring-time tradition involved squirt guns. Student brought squirt guns & sought to victimize each other mercilessly. Teachers & administrators sought to confiscate squirt guns mercilessly. Actually, several professional strategies were employed. One teacher was notorious for confiscating squirt guns, dropping them on the floor & crushing them underfoot. [Yes, this did enrage some students. I admired this teacher.]

        The math department practiced a uniform strategy of confiscating squirt guns & collecting them in a box, which they kept in the math department office. Very impressive! They were also willing to share their loot with their peers. Also very impressive.

        We were not allowed to frisk students for obvious reasons. Also, nobody demanded that students hand over their squirt guns, also for obvious reasons, unless we caught them in the act. One spring a compatriot & I had what we considered to be an ingenious solution. Thanks to donated weapons from the math department, he & I would set our sites on likely suspects, sneak up behind them & squirt them. Inevitably, the hapless victims would draw their weapons, whirl around & open fire on . . . A TEACHER! Bwah-ha-ha!

        With considerable protest, they would surrender their weapons. ["No fair! Entrapment!" Whatever.] We would keep the squirt guns if they were superior to ours or donate them back to the math department.

        One day I got a little carried away. There were a couple of freshmen boys in my reading class that I was 99.9% certain were armed & dangerous. I had my students arrange themselves in a half-circle & take turns reading from a short story. I positioned myself behind the miscreants. I timed my firepower perfectly, nailing both of them in the backs of their heads in a matter of 1-2 seconds. And on cue, they drew their weapons & returned fire. After we all had a good laugh, mostly at my expense, I confiscated their weapons.

        This drew howls of protest from the perpetrators &, in fact, many of their peers, but also cheers from classmates who had been their victims. So what happened, you ask? They snitched on me to our Dean of Students, who visited me, informed me that my behavior was unprofessional, confiscated MY weapon, & ordered me to cease & desist. Spoil sport.

Lincoln Lutheran Junior High #1

During my first year at Lincoln Lutheran [1980-81], I had a wretched group of 9th grade boys. [If any of you are reading this, you know it's true. Be thankful that I'm not naming names.] One day just after school started, I started bragging about my '78 'vette. They laughed in scorn. "No way do you drive a 'vette, they laughed. "It's parked out in front," I countered. "Wanna bet?" Well, of course they did. I don't even remember the bet, but I walked my homeroom outside & showed them the proof. There it was. My 1978 CheVETTE. 

        Naturally, the boys howled in protest. As I remember it, the girls thought it was hilarious. I demanded payment. Once again, I was victimized by snitches who told the principal, who informed me that it would be unprofessional AND unethical to collect such a bet with my students. Spoiled brats.

Lincoln Lutheran Junior High #2

After become principal at Lincoln Lutheran, I started publishing a weekly newsletter called the "Blue & Gold." We sent it home w/students every Thursday. One year the Thursday edition happened to fall on April 1. Here's what I did. ****

• I made the masthead much bigger, changed the font, & changed the name to the "GLUE & BOLD."
• I featured the date--April 1--prominently under the masthead.
• My lead article informed parents that we had leased 10 acres of our property to a company to use as a nuclear waste facility. At the time, this was a hot topic in Nebraska, because a company was trying to open such a facility in Boyd County.
• My 2nd article announced that Lincoln Lutheran would be instituting uniforms the next school year, & it went on to describe the uniforms in detail.

Lois was a stay-at-home mom that year, I think with our youngest. By the time I got home, she had several messages from irate parents. Their children were angry & demanding that their parents let them transfer to other schools next year so they wouldn't have to attend Lincoln Lutheran & wear the dreaded uniforms.

For the record, I didn't get a single phone call protesting the leasing of our property for a nuclear waste facility. [If you are reading this & you were one of those parents, see **** below.]

* And effort

** It's a term of endearment. Seriously!

*** For the record, during the time we lived in Lincoln [1980-1993], Lois taught @ Trinity, & our 3 children--Nathan, Sarah, & Rachel, attended Trinity until Lois & I accepted calls to Hawaii in 1993. Our grand-daughters have been attending Trinity & have been blessed with some of the same teachers that their mother had. This year Hadley's kindergarten teacher is one of my former students from Lincoln Lutheran Junior High.

**** Yes, I am still proud of myself.