TURKEY TALES

The only downside about our Thanksgiving celebration was the size of our turkey. Through no fault of our shopper, the turkey was just enough to feed ourselves & our brood of kids & grandkids, so, no leftover turkey for sandwiches. Thankfully, Orphan Grain Train gave me a turkey for Christmas, which Lois prepared on Christmas Day. Since we didn't have to share it with anyone, there was plenty of leftovers for her world-famous turkey noodle soup & for turkey sandwiches. And, yes, I am that shallow.

HEADACHES

WARNING! Shameless plea for sympathy ahead! I suffer from cluster headaches, which are like migraines on steroids. They're called "cluster" headaches, because they tend to come in clusters. I usually get a cluster of clusters twice a year, & I've been getting 1 or 2 headaches every day for the past few weeks. Symptoms are always the same. They start with a pressure or twinge above my left eyeball. If I take medicine right away, they're usually gone within 20-30 minutes. If I don't, they get bad--really, really bad, as in the teeth on the left side of my mouth ache, my left eye waters, & it feels as if an ice pick is being shoved through my skull through my forehead. I just called the neurologist. Sadly, she is booked until April, but I'm hoping she'll prescribe a course of steroids, which often break the cycle. If they don't bring relief for my headaches, at least I'll be more buff.

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE . . . GREENLAND?

"STUDY:  Gene found in people from Greenland makes ice cream as healthy as broccoli." Drudge Report A reason to check out your DNA via ancestry.com.

YULETIDE NEWS

"Oh No! The ghost of Christmas future just showed up & he's wearing a full hazmat suit!" Babylon Bee

"With supply chain issues, families forced to settle for being thankful that God came to earth to save us." Babylon Bee

"Reminder:  Husbands, it's time to start Christmas shopping." Babylon Bee

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING *

* Compliments of Reader's Digest, Sept. 2021

"Why do football players only dance when good stuff happens? Just once I wanna see a QB theow an interception & do a sad, interpretative dance."

"'I ran a half marathon' sounds so much better than 'I quit halfway through a marathon.'" 

"You should be able to play defense at bowling."

TRUE PEACE

"The kind of peace Jesus brought was a personal reconciliation between God and man, not necessarily peace between man and man.  In fact, because of who Jesus claimed to be – the Christ, the Messiah, the one and only Son of God – it elevated conflict and division to biblical proportions between man and man, man and governments, man and learned culture, and between man and his most intimate relationships:  Family.   Some men, cultures, governments, and families can be deeply committed to things that are completely false, and they demand that you fall into line.  Or else.  Love them, then build boundaries.  God comes first . . . 

"Christians are peacemakers, but when you all but force them to defy God’s will, you’ve breached sacred territory.  Under the cover of equity and civil rights, wokeness pressures Christians to put other things first. Christians are instinctively law-abiding people.  But when you force them to obey laws that conflict with God’s immutable laws, don’t be shocked when a more muscular Christianity kicks in . . . 

"The Christmas message should remind us to do the same.  Drop the fear.  Something sacred is being destroyed in America.   With all the ruthless loss, suffering, and death that the woke crowd and their protectors have unleashed on good, hard-working, law-abiding people in this country, now is not the time for a misguided, milquetoast, misunderstood peace." Will Alexander, Townhall