SINCE YOU ASKED

A headline in yesterday's Norfolk Daily News:  "Jussie Smollett guilty verdict is latest in polarizing political cases." It didn't have to be so. When his claims that he was assaulted by two racists wearing MAGA hats were first publicized, politicians, including our future president, immediately chimed in, proclaiming their horror. Even our then-president chimed in. And the drive-by media? Of course they did everything they could to echo Smollett's claims. [Just like they did re:  Kyle Rittenhouse?] Well, the trial thoroughly debunked his claims. Evidence was conclusive. He perpetuated a hoax & suffered the consequences. So, when are those politicians & the media going to admit that they were wrong?

"Not again:  Smollett claims he was assaulted by two prison guards in MAGA hats." Babylon Bee

YULETIDE NEWS

"Christmas cookies by the numbers:  Guess how many cookies Santa eats on Christmas Eve . . . The number of cookies eaten by Santa on one night every December in America is estimate at 300 million, according to no less an authority than Paul Deen, host of Fox Nation's 'At Home with Paula Deen.'" Fox News Online

TRENDING

"Bible now includes warning that it may contain spoilers for 'The Chosen.'" Babylon Bee

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE  . . . FLORIDA    

"FL woman charged with DUI after driving through golf course in wild police chase." Fox News Online

. . . BOSTON

"Boston University student newspaper editorial argues 'outright abolishing' campus police might improve safety." Fox News Online

. . . CALIFORNIA

"And, to show what happens when you defund the police, destroy the morale of your officers and threaten them with vaccine mandates that result in them quitting their jobs, arrests in Los Angeles in 2021 so far compared to 2019 are down 34 percent. The criminals have gotten so bold that even progressives living in gated and walled mansions in Beverly Hills are starting to wake up and demand more police protection.

As we know, calls for more law and order by liberals are rare. But that’s what happens when the nice shops in your nice neighborhood – the ones on Rodeo Drive, for example – get hit by the smashers and grabbers." Michael Reagan, Townhall

RIGHT TO LIFE

"The case for life is pretty simple: It is wrong to intentionally kill an innocent human being. Pro-life advocates are happy to engage abortion-choice advocates on these issues, but they are not interested. This is especially true when they own the levers of government. Why debate when they have everything to lose and nothing to gain?" Marc Newman, Townhall

POLITICAL POTPOURRI

"Biden sends two guys holding horse reins to help defend Ukraine Border." Babylon Bee

"Beto surges to the lead for governor of TX in poll of Californians." Babylon Bee

OMICRON

Here's Everything You Need to Know about Omicron, compliments of Babylon Bee

> It was originally to be called the 'Xi Jinping created COVID in a lab' variant but was renamed so as not to offend China.

> Omicron was ultimately named after its inventor, Bob Omicron, who works at the Wuhan Institute of Virology.

> Everyone who gets Omicron has a 100% chance of dying someday at some point in the future. Not necessarily of COVID, but of something. It's a guarantee.

> Has killed far fewer people than Democrats lockdown policies so far.

> Omicron is far worse than other variants, unless you count deadliness, contagiousness, & severity of symptoms.

> Studies have found that people who are concerned about Omicron are 729% more likely to be scared little whiny babies.

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING

"According to a new study, going to bed too early or too late may disrupt the body's natural rhythm & increase the risk of cardiovascular disease. So, just to be safe, let's randomly change our clocks twice a year for no reason." Late Night with Seth Meyers, latelaughs, Norfolk Daily News, 12/10