whimsical wed
There Is No Place Like . . .
China? No, Wait . . . Nebraska!
From Norfolk Daily News (12/5): "Chinese firm starts building a full-sized Titanic replica. Construction on the world's 1st full-sized Titanic replica has started in China, a country w/a well-documented fascination w/the tale of the ill-fated ocean liner . . . " [?Fake News Release Follows? You be the Judge.]- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
EXCLUSIVE NEWS RELEASE FROM CORNHUSKER STATE BLOG!
{Norfolk, NE 12/8} Hot on the heels of a report that a Chinese firm has started constructing a full-sized Titanic replica, a Norfolk, Nebraska firm has announced that it will soon begin construction of a full-sized replica of the Great Wall of China. Recalling a campaign promise by President-elect Trump to "build a wall around Nebraska to protect it from Bill Clinton, start-up construction company Build-a-Wall Depot plans to surround the state with a full-size replica of the Wall of China. "I see this as a win-win for the citizens of the Cornhusker State & the new president," said a spokesperson who asked to remain anonymous. "Mr. Trump gets to keep another campaign promise--one that undoubtedly won him the electoral votes from our great state. And our citizens are guaranteed protection from a serial sex deviant, probably paid for by the money our country will save by not having to protect polar bears in the Arctic."- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
From Lincoln Journal Star (12/8): "53 Huskers receive academic honors. 25 NE FB players were named to the Academic All-Big 10 team WED, including 4-time selections Sam Cotton & Brandon Reilly . . . To be eligible . . . students must be letter-winners, are in at least their 2nd academic year at their institution & carry a cumulative GPA of 3.0 or higher . . . 10 NU VB players received Academic All-Big 10 honors, including seniors Kadie Rolfzen, Amber Rolfzen & Justine Wong-Orantes . . . [You think a 3.0 GPA is not that impressive? First, any idea how many hours a student-athlete puts into athletic practices, conditioning, competing? Second, NE athletes tend to major in engineering, pre-med, nuclear science; unlike Iowa athletes, who tend to major in subjects like remedial basket-weaving . . . I'm just sayin'.]
Japan?
From Omaha World Herald (11/30): "Turns out it was a bad idea to put 5,000 dead fish in ice at skating rink. A Japanese amusement park has closed its ice-skating rink after public outrage over the rink's key feature: 5,000 dead fish frozen into the ice itself . . . [If I made a comment involving sushi or sashimi, I would be accused of racism . . . & I am NOT a hater!]Bracing for Retirement: Scenario #7
I've recently posted that my early retirement plans seem to be coalescing around March, 2017. I've also noted that I may need some supplemental income to support the lavish lifestyle that Lois & I have become accustomed to.So here's another scenario, this time inspired by "Sotheby's new forensic lab will help it identify fake art." Also from OWH (12/6): In a bid to fight art fraud, Sotheby's announced MON that it had chosen a forensics firm whose founder once helped the auction house belatedly identify a $10 million painting as a fake . . . "
PRO'S:
I'm guessing that this career could be pretty lucrative . . . Also prestigious . . . It could add to the number of abbreviations after my last name, addressing the "friendly" competition with my daughter, whose name I won't mention. [A clue is offered below.]CON'S:
This may require an additional degree and/or training and/or certification . . . which could mean additional expense on my part . . . Sotheby's is associated with Great Britain, & the British drink their beer warm.CONclusion: Little or no liklihood of this scenario coming to pass.
Criminal Minds: Special Christmas Edition
Also from OWH (12/2): "Beaver inside store sees fake trees, loses it. A badly behaved beaver took a shot at holiday shopping. The beaver was apprehended at a Dollar General store in Charlotte Hall, Maryland, the St. Mary's County Sheriff's Office said, apparently after approaching the selection of decorations & artificial Christmas trees & trashing the place . . . " [First, I didn't excerpt the rest of the story, since it made no mention of how the beaver go into the store. Second, relax, you P.E.T.B. * fanatics. "A deputy, with help from store employees, blocked the rodent in the aisle until animal control workers arrived. 'It walked up to the warden, {who} put the catch pole on it & removed it from the store,' said Tony M, the county's animal control supervisor." Second, actually, it looks like I did. Excerpt the rest of the story, that is.]* Guess for yourself what P.E.T.B. stands for!
Wild World of Wacky {Deceased} Celebrities
Also from NDN (12/3): "Big Mac creator. You probably don't know his name, but you've almost certainly devoured his creation: two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun.Michael James 'Jim' DeDelligatti, the McDonald's franchisee who created the Big Mac nearly 50 ears ago & saw it become perhaps the best-known fast-food sandwich in the world, has died at home in Pittsburgh. DeDelligatti, who according to his son ate at least several 650-calorie Big Macs a week for decades, was 98 . . . " [When I read this to my daughter, who shall remain anonymous, * last FRI morning, her comment, which was actually pretty funny, was, "Did he die of heart disease?" **]
* It was Sarah.
** What, you say? The apple doesn't fall very far from the tree? I'm not sure if that is a compliment or not. ***
*** Remind me to tell you the story about the time I stepped up to a McD's counter & absent-mindedly ordered a Whopper instead of a Big Mac. ****
**** After a few days to think about it, heart disease is not hilarious.
Political Whimsy
Also from LJS (12/9): "State Electors Won't Be Straying . . . Elector John Dinkel of Norfolk said most of the messages urging him to vote against Trump have come from out of state. Roughly 1/4 were from Nebraska residents, he said, while most others originated in CA, NY, & other progressive coastal states. 'They range from extremely polite to pretty aggressive,' said Dinkel, who owns a farm implement dealership. 'Some people are almost hysterical.'" [First, John is a personal friend of mine. Secondly, he attends the same church as I & I've always known him to be a man of strong Christian convictions, so out of respect for that, I will choose not to make witty yet possibly snide comments about the adjectival * phrase "progressive coastal states" or add further clarification to the adjectival * "hysterical."]* I'm a secondary English major--don't doubt me on this one.
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