Leckband Soiree vs Hill Family Reunion + My Feenawmuhnul Vokab

Leckband Family Summer 2016 Soiree

The Virgil Leckband branch of the Leckband family tree is also having a family event this summer. What it lacks in scope & sequence--compared to the Hill Family Summer Reunion--it makes up for in, well, I'll be giving that some thought.

The ostensible reason for this soiree is the occasion of my brother's 20th anniversary in the pastoral ministry, serving the dual parishes of St. Mark-Garrison & Zion-Shellsburg, both in Iowa. Ostensibly * this would also be the occasion of my sister-in-law Christy's 20th anniversary serving as "pastor's spouse" in the dual parishes of St. Mark & Zion. Don't believe that this is a significant role? Ask any pastor's wife.
* My word of the day. **
** Modesty inhibits me from mentioning that yesterday (7/16) Lois alerted me to a Facebook quiz:  "How Large Is Your Vocabulary?" I scored 29,800 words, putting me in the top .16%. ***
*** Fortunately for me, my lack of social restraint compels me to mention this.

Cogent Non-Trivialities re:  the Leckband 2016 Summer Soiree

There are significant differences between Leckband Soiree's & Hill Family Reunions.

1. First of all, it helps if you do NOT view this as a rivalry. One is NOT better than the other. *
2. Leckband Soiree's are demographically smaller, since we do not have the plethora of familial members & camp followers that is characteristic of the Hill Family gatherings.
3. Just because the Leckband Soiree will include two LCMS seminarian-trained church workers & six graduates from schools of the CUS, one should not think of the Leckband Soiree as being more spiritual. [One of these trained seminarians graduated from the "other" seminary, but I can neither confirm nor deny that he requires our women-folk to cover their heads before joining any conversation of a Biblical nature.'
4. We DO have to be careful how we discuss religious matters, since one or two of [whose name I will refrain from mentioning ** ] us belong to another synod ***.
5. Despite my close to 30,000 word vocabulary, which places me in the top .14% ****, there will be at least two "scholars" present who presumably have a working knowledge of Greek. This will put me at a disadvantage since--especially if they start throwing "fake" Greek words back & forth at each other, coupled with knowing glances--since no one else including me will know the difference.
6. As the oldest [ouch!] Leckband present, I SHOULD proudly wear the crown of Patriarch. However, knowing the clientage in attendance, I seriously doubt as to whether I will be accorded the proper respect.
7. Politics is a worthy topic of discussion, although two caveats must be taken seriously. {a} Once again, someone who shall not be named has taken a rather dangerous path down the progressive pathway to perdition. {b} I will enter this soiree without advance knowledge as to whether anyone has joined the "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named' retinue.
8. One thing we DO have in common with the Hill Family Reunion . . . We do NOT hesitate to talk about those family members & camp followers who are not present to defend themselves.
9. There will NOT be a plethora of exotic beer, fine wine, and/or other products of a distilled nature. Hopefully, there will be one or more bottles of wine produced at the winery of my grand-parents former home in Ocheyedan, IA. *****

* Well, one is possibly a little less DYSFUNCTIONAL than the other. I'll leave it to my readers to decipher which one I am referring to.

** It's Nathan. SEE previous comment re: my lack of social restraint.

*** I'll give you a hint . . . It's one of the 168 Lutheran synods common to the Twin Cities area.
**** Have I mentioned that before? Not that I want to make a big deal about it, despite the invidiousness it may cause.
***** Nickname:  "Home of the Highest Point in Iowa Not Located on a Former Hog Lot"

A Brief History of Garrison, Iowa *

Garrison ** supposedly was named after the famous abolitionist, William Lloyd Garrison. According to my impeccable, unimpeachable sources at the Small-Town Iowa Legacy Institute of Forensic Science ***, there is some controversy about the actual origin of the town name. Some favor the town being named after Horace "Bubba" Garrison, originally a member of the Amanda Colonies, a lesser known off-shoot of the Amana Colonies.
      The Amanda Colonies held much of the same beliefs as the Amana Colonies, except there was a strict prohibition against serving "family-style" meals. "Bubba" Garrison was controversial because he insisted on wearing plaid coveralls & voted for Abraham Lincoln in the first, documented Iowa caucuses. Shunned for his unconventional beliefs & practices, Bubba emigrated to what is now the Garrison area & homesteaded a modest plot of ground, rumored to be the current site of the parsonage of the LCMS church. 
      Legend has it that on stormy nights, the ghost of Bubba can be seen, wandering the streets of Garrison, moaning, "Pass me the green beans! Pass me the mashed potatoes!"

* I apologize in advance IF this feature offends anyone. 
** Nickname:  "Home of the Miracle Library Lady"

*** STILIFS