Whimsical WED soon to go on hiatus!

Whimsical Wednesday::Whimsy

From St. Paul Pioneer Press (3/6):  Exclusive for my daughter-in-law Laura, whose birthday is THU 3/10. * You will be sharing a birthday with: "Actor Church Norris (76)...Actress Sharon Stone (58)...Actor Philip Anthony-Rodrigues (48)...Actor Jon Hamm (45)...Country singer Carrie Underwood (33)...Actress Olivia Wilde (32)...Country singer Rachel Reinert (27)...Actress Emily Osment (24). [I have thoughtfully highlighted those celebrities whose names mean absolutely nothing to me but may mean something to someone of a, shall we say, younger generation?]
* I doubt if I'll have a chance to blog tomorrow, since I have a Nebraska State Gamblers' Assistance Program [GAP] Legislative Breakfast in Lincoln, followed  by a Commissioners' Mtg. This means I will leave home by or before 5:00a & probably won't get back until 6:00p. By then I will be exhausted from helping spend the people's ** money on behalf of problem gamblers.
** That would mostly be people who recklessly toss their money toward the Nebraska State Lottery, from which our Commission gets a percentage of the proceeds, from which we help fund providers who provide *** counseling for problem gamblers.
*** After all, what else would providers do, right? 

From Norfolk Daily News (2/19):  "St. Patrick Day--myth or fact? 

• Many assume St. Patrick was an Irishman by birth, but he wasn't. He was born in Wales & kidnapped by pirates, raiders of sorts, & taken to Ireland. [According to Leckband family lore, he actually emigrated to Wales from the Schleswig-Holstein area of Germany.]
• March 17 is the day St. Patrick is remembered, but it isn't his birthday like many believe. The celebration is actually on the day of his death. It's fitting  because an Irish wake is a time viewed as a celebration of life rather than a time for grieving.
• St. Patrick is given credit for driving the snakes out of Ireland, though his job wasn't very hard as there weren't any snakes to begin with . . . 
• The original color associated w/the holiday wasn't green, it was blue. Irish/American police officers walked in the parade, so it was a natural color choice. It was later changed to green." [Also, according to family lore, there is some dispute as to whether it was the O'Leckband clan or MacLeckband clan that shortened the family name & "Germanized" it when they emigrated to America, in order to avoid bigotry & prejudice against the Irish.]

Dog Owner Odyssey

I've blogged before of the challenges we face with Sammy & his dog encounters. I think I've stumbled * upon the best strategy yet.
      There is almost always advance notice of a potential encounter. Sammy has a way of perking up, even before the other creature starts it's obnoxious yelping. I immediately start talking to Sammy in a calm & soothing voice, which has always been included in my strategy, but now my words take on a specificity that here-to-for ** has been lacking. My "pup talk" *** proceeds along these lines:
      "Don't pay any attention to that dog, Sammy. That dog is a loser. That dog is pathetic. That is a little dog. We built a fence around your back yard just to keep undesirable dogs like that one out of our 'country.' And, Sammy, look at the size of that dog's paws? See how little those paws are?"
      This conversation with Sammy has been put into practice a few times. The jury is still out.
* I seem to be doing a lot of that lately. An indication that the time for my hip replacement draws closer? Less focus as I walk? Whatever.
** Is that even a word?
*** A play on words..."Pup talk"..."Pep talk"...Get it?

Hotel Review:  What It Takes to Get My 4-Star Rating

Having just spent a couple of nights in a hotel in Eagan/St. Paul, MN, on the occasion of our new grand-son Calvin's baptism on SAT 3/6, I decided to reflect on what it takes to get my highest hotel recommendations. However, since I am receiving no remuneration for this potential product placement, I will not reveal the source of our lodging. You will have to contact my spouse or my youngest daughter or her spouse to solicit that information.

• In-room coffee maker:  This no longer matters to me, assuming the hotel has coffee available in the lobby and/or breakfast area, but kudos are in order if it offers coffee that is labeled bold & whose taste matches the label. This hotel met my standards.
• Shower control:  Don't you hate it when the adjustment to the shower has a hair trigger, i.e., there is like a gazillionth-of-a-centimeter difference between scalding hot & arctic cold? So you spend 20 minutes trying to adjust the temperature of the shower while avoiding hypothermia & 3rd-degree burns?! This hotel's shower control was wonderful, so this hotel met my standards.
• Generous supplies of soap, shampoo, conditioner:  Some of you already know that I "collect" hotel soap, shampoo & conditioner. I especially appreciate soap that is larger than that which matches the size of one piece of frosted mini-wheats. Not only did this hotel's soap size impress, the maid's cart was always placed strategically, allowing me to take advantage of, shall we say, auxiliary personal hygiene supplies. This hotel met my standards. [I have some reason to believe that some hotel chains have me listed on a "hotel soap gatherer" watch list.]
• Obnoxious "mother earth" placards:  I'm all for being a good steward of the earth's resources, but I find it hard to stomach placards spread all over a hotel room & bathroom, encouraging me to hang up my used towels & let the maids know not to change my sheets, all for sake of "saving mother earth." This hotel had a minimal amount of placardage(?), so this hotel mostly met my standards.
• Ease in connecting to wireless network:  The wireless connection page booted right up & all we had to do was type in our room # & last name. However, we had to do it multiple times, so this hotel somewhat met my standards.
• Newspapers:  I expect a local newspaper; not just a USA Today. [I have an ongoing love-hate affair with USA Today, which I've blogged about before. SEE below.] This hotel had both a USA Today & St. Paul Pioneer Press available, so it met my standards.
• Biscuits & gravy:  In order for a breakfast bar to totally meet my standards, there must be an offering of biscuits & gravy. Sadly, I had to make do with oatmeal [granted, there was a nice selection of additives], waffles, some sausage, scrambled eggs, & assorted pastries. And the eggs tasted suspiciously like "not real" eggs. This hotel did not meet my standards.
• RATING:  3 stars out of 4.

Political Potpourri 

From Lincoln Journal Star (3/4):  "Details announced for Bill xxxxxxx in Lincoln. Former President Bill xxxxxxx will campaign for his wife, XXXXXXX XXXXXXXX, on FRI afternoon in the Great Hall at Lincoln Station. [Mostly I just wanted a chance to check out this newest label:  "He-Who-Is-Married-to-She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named."]

From Omaha World Herald (3/4):  "'I wasn't being held hostage' at XXXXX rally, Christie says. Anyone worried that NJ Gov. Chris Christie was being held hostage by XXXXXX XXXXX as he stood, seemingly shell-shocked, behind the GOP presidential front-runner on Super TUE, apparently can rest easy.

    "'No, I wasn't being held hostage. No, I wasn't sitting up there thinking, 'Oh, my God, what have I done?'' Christie said THU. 'I don't know what I was supposed to be doing. All these armchair psychiatrists should give it a break.'" [YOU may not have been shell-shocked, Chris Christie, but "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" still has the ability to reduce at least some of us to shell-shock by what comes out of his mouth.]

From SPPP, column by John Kass (3/4):  "Toilet paper shortage, an unwelcome symptom of socialism. The problem with socialism, Margaret Thatcher is credited w/saying, is that you eventually run out of other people's money. But the late Mrs. Thatcher--heroic conservative P.M. of Great Britain--was too well-mannered tp tell people what actually comes next. So I'll have to do it.

      "After socialists run out of other people's money, the people eventually run out of something almost as precious as money:  Toilet paper."  [I felt obligated to include this "caution" for those of you who still find themselves attracted to "He-Who-Is-Deemed Irrelevant."]

There Is No Place Like . . . 

Iowa?!

From Destination: Clear Lake, Your 2016 Official Visitor Guide of the Clear Lake Area Chamber of Commerce:  "Instagram Like a Pro." What follows are 10 helpful hints shared by Alicia Schmit, a "freelance writer & photographer from north central Iowa. [Not all that long ago, my niece & her family moved to Ventura, IA, located on the west end of Clear Lake. My nephew-in-law serves as pastor of an LCMS church there. I anticipate we will visit the area, sooner or later, so on my recent trip to Eagan, MN, I picked up a couple of visitor guides to the Clear Lake Area.
     I've only browsed carefully through one, & my first impression is that it's similar to the Iowa Great Lakes area, only on a smaller scale. I included this excerpt because--SURPRISE--in the midst of articles one would expect--describing fishing, camping, where to stay, special events & celebrations, some music history {Hint: "The Day the Music Died"}, where to eat, shopping opportunities, natural history, & more . . . lo & behold, there was a page devoted to . . . wait for it . . . wait for it . . . Instagram!

Minnesota!

From SPPP (3/4):  "Donate good, get out of parking fine. Stillwater drivers can avoid paying parking tickets w/a donation of nonperishable food items to the city's 'Food for Fines' program this month." [I've visited Stillwater. It's a quaint little town filled with history & wineries; and, had I known, I would have considered a side trip on our recent excursion to MN, just so I could (a) park illegally; and (b) get credit for a "good work" during Lent by paying my fine w/a can of non-perishable sardines.]

Mississippi?

Tagline from Drudge Report (2/27):  "Mississippi Gov. Declares 'Confederate Heritage Month' . . . " [Dude *, seriously? Confederate Heritage Month?!]
* Once & Awhile I like to use the current "lingo" to relate to my younger readers. **
** And once again, sometimes I crack myself up.

New York?

From SPPP (3/4):  "Shutdown of nuke plant: birds' fault. Bird poop was the likely cause of a Dec. shutdown at a nuclear power plant outside NYC, according to the operator." [I can neither confirm nor deny that it took a lengthy investigation to rule out poop from anti-nuclear demonstrators.]

Oregon?

From OWH (2/27):  "Oregon city fires landscape goats over cost & smell. When 4-legged landscapers made an appearance in OR's capital, the move was popular w/park visitors. But officials are giving them the boot. Salem officials say the city's pilot project employing goats to remove invasive specials cost nearly 5X what they would have spent using conventional methods. And that's not the only drawback: Officials noted that the city had to clean up the 'heavily fertilized area' left behind by the goats." [DEPT. of IMAGINARY CONVERSATIONS:  Salem City Mayor: "How can we take care of invasive plant species, save money, & please the large population of environmentalists who live in our city?" Consultant: "Easy. We employ goats, which will also please the large population of animal rights' activists." Mayor: "All in favor." City Council: "AYE!" . . . Weeks later. Representatives of environmental & animal rights groups:  "We appreciate what you've tried to accomplish on behalf of Mother Earth & our brother & sister animals, but our brothers & sisters stink! And they don't make our visits in & among Mother Earth aesthetically pleasing. Get rid of the goats. Humanely, if possible." Mayor & Council: "Okay."

Nebraska!

From NDN (3/3):  "Podcast discusses skunks. Problems w/skunks? Or wanting to know more about skunks? That's the topic addressed by John Wilson, a NE Extension educator in Burt County. The interview was conducted by Susan Resigner, WJAG farm director." [While YOUR state is busy worrying about Confederate heritage, bird poop & nuclear power plants, & stinky goats, OUR state is busy informing its citizens about . . . skunks!

My Love/Hate Affair w/USA Today

I've blogged before about my love/hate affair w/this publication. Specifically, I've wondered about the crack team of investigators who leave no stone unturned in their quest to report the story of greatest interest(?) from each of the 50 states. *  > I have speculated re:  their criteria. > And I have expressed mild(?) envy that I have never been invited to join this team. > Knowing that I am a newspaper junkie, I cannot think of a better dream job that to spend my days browsing through a plethora--plethora I tell you!--of state periodicals, gleaning the most interesting & newsworthy items to share w/a national readership. **

• "Connecticut, Groton: Officials at the Naval Submarine Base will enforce do-not-feed policy to combat a feral cat problem...Officials say anyone caught feeding the felines will face disciplinary action." ["Why did you get 30 days in the brig? Because you let suspected terrorists sneak through your guard post? "No. I was caught feeding friskies to feral felines."]
• "Idaho, Payette: Police believe 4 teenage boys set fire to their high school principal's house in retaliation for being suspended . . . " [I feel sorry for these boys, because nobody ever suspects the faculty & staff.]
• "Montana, Bozeman: 3 students in Belgrade middle & high schools were diagnosed w/the mumps." [Of course I feel sorry for these kids, but in the same USA there was a feature story about grizzlies losing their endangered status & being eligible to be hunted in states adjoining Yellowstone National Park. Shot dead vs mumps? Hmmm.]
• "Texas, Austin: The Freedom from Religion Foundation is suing Gov. Abbott over the removal of a mock nativity scene from the state Capitol featuring the founding fathers, Statue of Liberty & Bill of Rights . . . " [Nothing says freedom from religion like displaying a mock nativity scene that features our founding fathers, including the well-documented deist, Thomas Jefferson. ****

* And District of Columbia.

** Similar to my blog posts, I assume. ***

*** Sometimes I crack myself up.
**** I recently finished reading his biography by Jon Meacham, & this fact is confirmed.