Temp Challenge + Political Potpourri You Can Trust

Whimsical WED

I'm not sure that posting a Whimsical WED blog is entirely appropriate during Holy Week, but here goes. I'm going to start w/a . . . 

Leckband Temp Challenge

Today's results are somewhat unconventional for the following reasons. (1) Ordinarily, I only factor in temperatures, since forecasts are notoriously unreliable. (2) I do not have access to my crack team of temp advisors, since I am in the Heritage of Bel Air Managed Care Facility, a few short blocks east & north of my official residence in Norfolk, NE. (3) I officially began my temp check @ 7:45a, CDT, this morning, but began backtracking, due to the wild nature of the forecast, which was already evident due to the anecdotal reports I was getting from family & staff, beginning yesterday morning {TUE 3/22}. (4) I'm using no special formulae, ratios, etc., today. In scientific, meteorological parlance, I am "flying by the seat of my pants." (5) Most importantly, I need not remind you, [but I am anyway] it's my blog.

Rankings based on wunderground temps & forecasts *

• #1, Ventura, IA, 37.6/windchill 32; forecast high 38; forecast 100% 8-12" snow by THU a.m. w/wind gusts up to 50 m.p.h.
• #2, Norfolk, NE,  38.1/34; forecast high 41; forecast 100% 5-8" snow by THU a.m. w/wind gusts up to 50 m.p.h.
• #3, Eagan, MN, 33.8/no wc; forecast high 37; forecast 80% 1-3" snow by end of WED; 80% additional 1-3" snow by THU a.m.; wind gusts up to 40 m.p.h.
• #4, Garrison, IA, 37.9/27; forecast high 41; forecast 80% 1" snow by THU a.m. w/wind gusts up to 40 m.p.h.
• #5, Lincoln, NE, 55/no wc; forecast high 62; 70% less than 1/2" snow overnight w/wind gusts up to 50 m.p.h.
• #6, Beatrice, NE, 53/no wc; forecast high 72; 50% chance snow w/no accumulation.  BALMIEST LECKBAND'S!!

Notes:
Can there even be any doubt re:  today's Balmiest Leckband Achievement? I will admit that the #1 distinction could be subject to some controversy. SEE comments above.
* although a lucrative sponsorship has not yet materialized, & I'm losing patience.

Criminal Minds

Tagline from Drudge Report 3/23:  "Man steals BMW after trying to buy it w/food stamps . . . " [I didn't bother reading the article, & I'll leave it to the reader to decide which is the greater crime.]

There Is No Place Like . . . 

New Jersey!

From Norfolk Daily News (3/19):  "Police buy 250 boxes of cookies from sisters who were berated. Police in New Jersey have bought 250 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies from two sisters who were berated by a woman who said no one wanted what they were selling. 12-year-old Natalie Skolar & her 9-year-old sister Angelina, were selling cookies door-to-door in Scotch Plains when one homeowner began cursing them. [emphasis added]
      "Angelina said the woman shouted that she didn't want to buy cookies before she slammed her door. An employee of the Fanwood Police Dept. saw a FB post detailing the encounter & began passing around an order sheet for cookies. The police dept. said it bought 250 boxes from the sisters." [I can neither confirm nor deny that after eating the cookies the police threw the empty cartons on this woman's lawn, then ticketed her for operating an unlicensed landfill.]

Great Britain?

From Omaha World Herald (3/22):  "UK research ship's name may be 'Boaty McBoatface.' [emphasis added] The name 'Boaty McBoatface' could be given to a $288 million research vessel. The name has emerged as a favorite since Britain's Natural Environment Research Council sought input. A spokeswoman said MON that the council is 'pleased that people are embracing the idea in the spirit of fun.'" [Our friends across the sea are embracing the idea in the spirit of fun about as seriously as I'm embracing the latest news about . . . ]

Global Climate Change Watch

Tagline from Drudge Report (3/23):  "CLAIM: Sea level falling for past six years . . . " [I admit . . . I've reached a point where I'm not sure any credibility can be granted government-sponsored reports re:  global climate change. However, in an attempt to keep my blog "fair & balanced," I also admit that I barely skimmed through the article that followed this tagline. Read it yourself. I dare you!] 

Political Potpourri

From OWH (3/21):  "Prom dresses tailored w/a safety message. The Omaha group behind the in-your-face public health campaign on STDs is displaying prom dresses made of condoms @ Crossroads Mall * & at a Dundee clothing store. The idea, according to the Adolescent Health Project, is to encourage safe sex on prom night . . . The effort aims 'to get people, particularly young people & parents, to talk about healthy sexual relations,' said Brenda Council **, project coordinator of the campaign. 'You see it, & it immediately grabs your attention' . . . 
      "Council ** said such efforts hopefully will encourage young people to abstain from six, 'but if they do engage, we want them to use safe sex practices.'" [Because nothing will inspire our young people to practice "safe sex" at prom time like prom dresses made from condoms . . . right? Right?!"]
** To the best of my knowledge, this Council bears no relation to the aforementioned Britain's Natural Environment Research Council above.
* The LMAHP *** gives Crossroads Mall a NR-17 rating due to it's immoral, unethical & false sense of healthful sex messages. ****
*** Leckband Moral Health Project. ****
**** Immoral, because the only godly, moral sexual relationships take place within a monogamous, heterosexual, marriage relationship; unethical, because the Adolescent Health Project speaks out of both sides of its hypocritical mouth, purporting to "want [adolescents] to use safe sex practices" while displaying wildly prurient condom dresses in public places where teens hang out; & unhealthy, because there's no empirical proof that encouraging teens to use condoms will in fact result in teens using condoms. The message of "safe sex" campaigns has been & always will be "we know you're going to have sex, so make sure it's a fun experience & use condoms, because they never fail, & you'll always remember to use them correctly in the heat of adolescent passion."

More Political Potpourri

Re:  The terrorist attacks in Brussels . . . According to our drive-by media, we should be most alarmed about . . . wait . . . what?  Check out this link.

I am so glad that our Fearless Leader is Willing To Take on Cuba . . . but I'm starting to feel fatigued, both mentally & physically, so check out this link, & do your own heavy lifting.

Re:  "He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" . . . Those of you who follow me at least semi-regularly know that I put a lot of stock in Jonah Goldberg's partisan columns. Well, I'm partisan, too. I find myself rapidly losing stamina, so while I think I'm still thinking somewhat cogently, here's another reminder that it's still my blog & there's really no reason why you shouldn't check him out, because I promise that he makes more sense than most of your favorite pundits. Here's the link, I'm just sayin'.

Re:  "He-Who-Is-Deemed-Irrelevant" . . . Not in a million years do I think the DNC will allow anyone besides "She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" to get the Democratic nomination . . . Yeah, I think the fix has been on from the very beginning, but in a self-delusional, feeble effort to keep my blog "fair & balanced," why not check out this link . . . just to humor me?

Re:  "She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named" . . . I am shocked, shocked I tell you . . . at this link from Brent Bozell! Yes, I know he is partisan. Yes, I am partisan, which you should very well know by know. Yes, I also know that daring you to check out my links is a highly questionable psychological gambit, given your presumably high level of reasoning skills * . . . but it's all I got. I started this entry before 8:00a this morning & it's now after 2:00p. I'm tired. I'm a little--maybe a lot--grouchy . . . & ready to be done. Maybe I'll treat myself to a pain pill soon?!
* Even if you're a millennial.