RIB REPORT

If you followed my recent travelogs, recounting the adventures & misadventures of our trip to Montana & back, you know about my mishap while hiking the Fox Creek Trail in the Sawtooth Mountains in Idaho. I hit a patch of loose gravel, tumbled down an embankment, & had to be pulled back up by Ketchum Fire & Rescue. The result was lots of abrasions & pretty awesome bruises, which modesty prevents me from showing you. I was pretty convinced that I had broken a rib until an x-ray this week revealed I only suffered a bad bruise. God is good!

ROAD TRIP REDUX

With the completion of our road trip to Montana for our niece's wedding in Corvallis & also including traverses across & into S. Dakota, Idaho, & Wyoming, our current tally is 14 road trips. Next on the list? Later this month Lois will join her sisters & two sisters-in-law for Sister Bash in Charleston, SC, while I take a couple days to visit Niobrara & Ponca State Parks in NE. [In hindsight, I should have adopted a New Year's resolution about road trips.] Speaking of resolutions . . . 

2024 RESOLUTIONS REVIEW

> Lose weight. F. Despite this immodest goal, I've gained 2 lbs this year. Too much eating out on our recent road trip.

> Limit myself to no more than 2 cups of coffee per day. C.

> Visit at least 1 national park or monument this year. A+. With the addition of Craters of the Moon NM in ID & Fossil Bluff NM in WY, our total this year is 3.

> Limit my reading to 1 conservative source per day. C.

> Avoid picking fights on Facebook. A. I'm rather proud of myself.

> Walk at least 4X per week. D.

> Finish writing & publishing another devotion book. B. I submitted a proposal to Concordia Publishing House but won't find out their decision for at least 12 weeks.

GPA:  C+

BEST DRINK IN EVERY STATE *

* Source:  Reader's Digest, July/Aug, 2024 [The opinions of this magazine do not necessarily reflect the views of this blogger.] {I'm only including states where family lives.}

Arizona:  Lemonade

California:  Wine [duh]

Colorado:  Hot chocolate

Florida:  Orange juice [also, duh]

Iowa:  Nehi grape

Minnesota:  The Bootleg ["Al Capone & other notorious mobsters sipped this concoction of citrus, sugar, & fresh mint because it packed the right punch to mask the burn of bootlegged liquor."]

Nebraska:  Kool-Aid [actually invented in NE]

North Carolina:  Cheerwine ["This cheerful cherry soda--nope, no wine in Cheerwine--is the official soft drink of the National Barbecue & Grilling Association."]

Texas:  Horchata

WHAT WE'RE WATCHING

Lois & I are watching back episodes of "The Resident," streaming on Netflix. B. I recently finished watching, also on Netflix, a docuseries about the 72 most dangerous animals of Latin America & a docudrama entitled "Wyatt Earp & the Cowboy War." B, C. Now I'm watching a documentary about Hope [not Han] Solo & U.S. Soccer. Too early to tell.

WHAT I'M READING

While we were at the Big Hole National Battlefield in Montana, I picked up "Battlefields of Montana." I just caught up with the "Battle of Little Bighorn." No matter how many times I read about this battle, things never turn out well for Custer & the 7th Cavalry.

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING 

* Courtesy of Reader's Digest, May 2024

"My biology report titled 'Your Intestines:  How Your Digestion Works' was marked down a grade. Turns out I'd forgotten the colon."

"When someone hands me a flier, it's kinda like he's saying, 'Here, you throw this away.'"

TODAY'S AWESOME TRIVIA *

Source:  Uncle John's Awesome 35th Anniversary Reader

"The makers of Post-it Notes claim the correct way to use Post-its is to peel them with the sticky strip running vertically, not across the top."

POLITICAL POTPOURRI FROM THE BABYLON BEE *

* Your trusted source of fake news

> Democrats to replace Kamala on ballot with ABC moderators

> Kamala prepares for debate by googling "What does a president do?"

> Moderators call timeout to huddle & discuss strategy with Kamala

> Nation eagerly anticipates two brightest minds in country meeting in respectful, productive dialogue

The Bee fact checks last night's debate

* Trump:  "Hello, my name is Donald Trump." False. His name is Donald John Trump. While it's unclear why Trump would deliberately withhold his middle name, one thing is certain. Donald Trump is a liar.

* Trump:  Trump supporters didn't kill anyone on Jan. 6. False. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was killed 13 times that day.

* Harris:  "I'm doing a great job." False. She's doing a GREAT job.

* Davis:  "In some states in this country it is legal to kill a baby after its born." False. Well, technically it's true, but it sounds bad. So let's say false.

* Muir:  "Good night." False. It was not a good night, David. IT SUCKED.