2024 RESOLUTIONS REVIEW

I understand that you may have no interest whatsoever in my review of my New Year's resolutions, but it's a helpful barometer for me, so here goes.

* Lose weight:  A.  I've lost 3 lbs this year. Nothing to brag about, but still.

* Limit myself to no more than 2 cups of coffee per day:  C.

* Visit at least 1 national park or monument this year:  A.  We visited Castillo de San Marcos in St. Augustine, FL, with Lois' sisters Kathy & Anita in FEB.

* Limit my reading to 1 conservative source/day:  C.

* Avoid picking fights on Facebook:  B.  I'm pretty pleased with myself. Recently I read a post by someone who posited that it was unfortunate that the shooter failed to take out President Trump. It took a heroic effort, but I didn't respond.

* Walk at least 4X/week:  D+.  I've been severely hampered by neck pain although I did get in 4 walks this past week. Today I have an appt with a neurosurgeon, & I'm hopeful there are some solutions.

* Finish writing & publishing a devotion book: C. I finished writing "Buzzwords," another 365-day devotion book, but I'm having the dickens of a time finding a publisher. 

GPA:  B-

ROAD TRIP PROGRESS

We've made 13 road trips thus far, with 5 more on the horizon. Our most recent one was our annual grandkids' weekend, this year in S. Dakota, outside Sioux Falls. Toward the end of this month we're headed to MT for our niece's wedding, & we'll include some side trips.

CRIMINAL MINDS

"Man arrested for spaghetti attack on mother." Drudge Report

TODAY'S TRENDING HEADLINES 

"Referee warns Olympic women's boxing finalists not to punch each other in the testicles." Babylon Bee

"Facebook renamed more accurate 'Keeping-track-of-people's-birthdays-book.'" Ditto

"Jesus explains to disciples that they are always sheep in His parables because sheep are really, really stupid." Ditto

POLITICAL POTPOURRI

"Kamala bravely fields hard-hitting questions from reporters about where she got that adorable blouse." Babylon Bee

"Biden says if Trump was such a great president, how come he couldn't stop 9/11." Ditto

TODAY'S TRIVIA *

* Source:  Uncle John's Awesome 35th Anniversary Bathroom Reader

"Those who know say that leopard urine smells like popcorn." 

"In 2015, President Barack Obama legalized private asteroid ownership."

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING:

* Compliments of Reader's Digest, May 2024

"Good moms let you lick the beaters after making brownies. Great moms turn them off first."

"Whatever you do, give 100%. Unless you're donating blood."