HIP HIP HOORAY!

No more pain meds, including Tylenol. That's progress, right? I'm walking more outside. Today I did 1,111 steps, so I still have a ways to go. I plan on going to Bible study & church tomorrow morning. We're going to Whiskey Creek [note product placement] for supper with friends tomorrow night. I'm hoping to make it into work for a short while on MON, & maybe even make it to Men's Breakfast Bible Study on TUE morning. Who da man?

WHAT I'M READING

I started reading "Doc," by Mary Doria Russell, a fictionalized biography of Doc Holliday.

WHAT WE'RE WATCHING

I usually watch one or two videos of The History Guy on YouTube every night. If you enjoy history, you should check it out. His topics are diverse, informative, & entertaining. The other night I watched "The History of Toilet Paper." I also started watching "Halo," a series on Paramount+. And Lois & I are watching Marvel movies, in chronological order, with our grand-daughter Brianna. So far we've watched Captain American, Captain Marvel, Iron Man 1, &, last night, Iron Man 2. We've seen some of these before, but it's been awhile, & they're still entertaining. I think tonight we're watching Iron Man 3.

BEST STATES TO HAVE A BABY *

* Source:  Fox News Online 8/11

Massachusetts, Vermont, Rhode Island, Minnesota, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Washington, D.C., Hawaii, Utah.  WORSE STATES:  Florida, Nevada, Oklahoma, West Virginia, Arkansas, Georgia, Louisiana, South Carolina, Mississippi, Alabama.

CRIMINAL MINDS

"FL woman arrested for hurling uncooked steak at boyfriend of 20 years, police say." FNO 8/11

"Skunk sprays suspected church burglar before deputies make arrest, sheriff says." FNO 8/11

"I was working at a 7-Eleven when a man tucked four six-packs of beer under his arms & bolted without paying. I called the police, then went home when my shift ended. The next day, the police came to the store with a suspect in tow They asked the clerk working then, "Is this the man who stole the beer?" The perp shouted, "How would he know? He wasn't here when I ran out the door." Reader's Digest, Feb 2022

POLITICAL POTPOURRI

"Democrats declared winners of congressional softball game after scoring 15 runs in secret extra inning played at 2:00 a.m." Babylon Bee

"FBI raids Nicolas Cage's home after tip he has Declaration of Independence." BB

"Mar-A-Lago search arrant claims Trump had acquired all six infinity stones." BB

HERE'S TO YOUR HEALTH

"STUDY:  Posture affects how stomach absorbs medicine." Drudge Report, 8/11

"STUDY:  More intensely you exercise, bigger & strong brain grows." Drudge, 8/12

8 Best Fruits for Your Health (FNO 8/13)

Blueberries, apples, mangoes, bananas, pears, kiwis, oranges, avocados (yes, technically a fruit), COMMENT:  I eat an apple & banana almost every day. Lois loves avocados. Our AAL guy in Hawaii had an avocado tree in his backyard. When they ripened, you could hear them thumping against his roof. He would deliver sacks of avocados to our home.

MORE BREAKING NEWS FROM BABYLON BEE

"Hilarious, fun, loving dad who knows everything turns into lame, boring moron the moment boy turns 14."

Desperately needed projects funded by the Inflation Reduction Act

> $45 billion for the establishment of a new federal agency to find out why Biden fell off his bicycle. (Experts believe it may be linked to climate change.)

> A requirement that all American nuclear missiles must be solar-powered by 2030.

Things the FBI Found in Donald Trump's Safe

> The kickstand for Biden's bike.

> A note that reads, "You FBI guys are low IQ. Sad! Not good!" (Found in a safe within a safe).

> Little tiny shampoos which were stolen from the White House bathroom.

Job Requirement for New IRS Agents

> Maintain a high level of fitness necessary to perform a chokehold until a tax delinquent is subdued and/or dead.

> Must derive pleasure from human suffering.

> Comfortable with firing squad-style executions.

> Cheered for Agent Smith in "The Matrix."

> Must hate children.

> Previous water-boarding experience.

DEPT. OF SHAMELESS JOKE-STEALING *

* Compliments of Reader's Digest, Feb 2022

"After ordering a sandwich at a deli, I remembered I wanted to split it with my wife, so I asked the clerk to cut it in fourths. "Too late," he said, handing me the sandwich. "I already cut it in half."

"A customer complained that their fries tasted too much like potatoes."

"A customer got huffy with me because she didn't know that saber-toothed cats are extinct & thought our museum would have a live one on display."

Today's Dad Joke

"A ham sandwich walked into a bar & ordered a beer. The bartender said, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."