Surreptitious Saturday

Alarming News

"Some hotels to drop mini shampoo bottles. The fight to save the seas from plastic waste may mean the end for mini botles of shampoo & other toiletries that hotel guests love to stuff into their luggage." --Omaha World Herald 7/31 COMMENT:  You mean I might be forced to start buying my own shampoo & conditioner?!

Trending

"STUDY:  Optimistic people sleep better, longer . . . " Drudge Report, 8/9

"Why Can't We Return To How Peaceful The World Was Before Guns?"  Babylon Bee, 8/8

"Struggling Chemistry Teacher Takes To Life Of Crime Manufacturing Plastic Straws To Sell On Streets Of Santa Barbara" ditto

"Ocasio-Cortez Severely Burned After Accidentally Touching Book On Basic Economics" ditto

"Study Shows Leading Cause Of Gun Violence Is Those You Disagree With Politically" ditto

"Dems Criticize Trump For Not Taking Ownership Of The Sinking Of The Titanic" ditto

"Woke Polar Bear Apologizes For Being White" ditto

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing *

* courtesy of Reader's Digest, June 2019

From "Lies My Siblings Told Me

• "My brother told me that every time it rained, God was crying because I was so ugly."
• "Just days before my brother's third birthday, I let him in on a secret: 'Do you know what happens when you turn three? You turn into a girl.' His eyes grew big. 'It's true. It happened to me. It happened to Mom.' For the net few days, whenever Mom mentioned his birthday, he burst into tears."

Political Potpourri

The fact that the country is so concerned about bigotry and violence is good, because it’s a sign that our tolerance of such things has shrunk. All I’m doing is asking that people take a breath, count to ten, and put it all in some perspective. --Jonah Goldberg, National Review Online 8/9

As long as Trump resides in the White House, the media can never concede that any condition other than a state of emergency obtains in the United States of America. --Kyle Smith, ditto

Donald Trump’s opponents often do more to help him than his supporters ever could. While the president undoubtedly has his hardcore fans — a base that relishes his Twitter antics and won’t abandon him no matter what policies his administration manages to settle on — he also benefits tremendously from the fact that a host of Democratic politicians, along with the progressive pundit class, have reacted to his presidency primarily by behaving in a steadily more unhinged manner with each passing month. --Alexandra DeSanctis, ditto

Ever wonder why rich people seem the most hysterical on the subject? Ever notice that it's the highest-paid people on TV who are the most determined to convince you white supremacy is America's biggest problem? Why is that? Simple: Every minute you spend angry about race is a minute you're not thinking about class — which, of course, is the real divide in this country. Working-class people of all colors have a lot more in common with each other than they do with some overpaid MSNBC anchor. If you were allowed to think about that long enough, you might start to get unauthorized ideas about economics. That would be disruptive to a very lucrative status quo. So they whip you into a frenzy of racial fear so that it never enters your mind. It's a diversion. Everyone else hates each other. They get to keep their money. Pretty tricky. Unfortunately, it's destroying the country. This is the path to civil war. --Tucker Carlson & Neil Patel, Townhall 8/9

It is both wrong and illogical to blame the acts of the mentally disturbed on the politicians that espouse similar views. This standard is well maintained when it comes to liberal politicians. But not when it comes to Donald Trump. When it comes to Donald Trump, all principles of decency and journalistic integrity go out the window because it fits the Left’s false narrative of President Trump as a maniacal fear mongering racist. --Paul Curry, ditto