Suspenseful Saturday

Time + Beer for Lent + Joke-Stealing + Resolutions Review + Service

Criminal Minds

"Men share bulletproof vest--& gun injuries. Two Arkansas men have been arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault after police say they shot each other while taking turns wearing a bulletproof vest . . . A police affidavit says the two men are neighbors & were drinking on a deck SUN when Ferris told Hicks to shoot him with a .22-caliber rifle while Ferris wore the vest. The affidavit says the shot left a red mark on Ferris' chest & that he was angry because it hurt The affidavit ays Hicks then put on the vest & Ferris 'unloaded the clip' into his back, causing bruises.' [Omaha World Herald, 4/4] Key phrase:  "were drinking."

Man' Best Friend

"Dog owners much happier than cat owners, survey finds" [Drudge Report, 4/6]

Time

"Time, like money, is something you have to make. You have to carve it out from the portion you've been given. You want to be so fully immersed in joyful, replete & curious hours that eventually, without your even realizing it, time will tap you on the shoulder, hand you a hat & remind you that the party' over." [Column by Gina Barreca, Norfolk Daily News 4/2]

Suspense

• "America Godless? Number of people with no religion soars . . . " [Drudge, 4/5]
• "Man only drinking beer for Lent--loses 33-lbs . . . " [Drudge, 4/6]
• "Drunken online shopping is big business--especially for Amazon . . . " Debby Witt' Monday Links, 4/1]

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing *

* Reader's Digest, 4/2019

• "I was gonna tell a time-traveling joke, but you guys didn't like it."
• "I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of jail, but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition."
• "RIP boiling water--you will be mist."

Resolution Progress Report

Here's the status of my New Year's resolutions.

• Not to read any partisan diatribes re:  the 2020 elections. 90%
• Add to our list of National Park visits & cross something off our bucket list. We're due to visit Teddy Roosevelt & Glacier National Parks in SEP.
• Lose 10 lbs. Only 15 lbs to go.
• Treat Sammy with more patience. 70%
• Help put out all our Christmas decorations. Waiting for Thanksgiving break.
• Work out at least 3X per week. I've been averaging less than 1 time per week, although I took a 20-minute walk yesterday.
• Continue spending an hour or so each day in "quiet time." 100%
• Write a devotion book for the 2019 Orphan Grain Train Convention. I'm working on the final draft.
• Receive a DNA report from Ancestry.com. Although I mailed in my DNA sample at the end of December, I've yet to hear back from them.

SERVICE

"What shall I render to the Lord, for all His benefit to me? .  . O Lord, I am Your servant." (Ps. 116: 12,16)

"The psalmist, however knew there was nothing he could ever do to repay God for His faithful, steadfast love. He sought instead to dedicate himself to a life of serving that would bring praise & honor to God's glorious name."
[Psalms for Lent, Jane Wilke, Creative Communications for the Parish, 2018]