Deer Hunting + Cockroaches + Cow-tipping + Dieting
There Is No Place Like . . . Mississippi
"Woman, 101, kills two deer with single shot. A 101-year-old hunter in Mississippi is still at it & even dropped two dear with one shot. Veteran hunter Bertha Vickers made the twofer during her first successful hunt at age 101 . . . After missing four this season, the Morgantown resident said she was determined to bag a deer."Vickers spotted one deer from her hideout, but she remained patient & was rewarded. 'I decided to wait for a bigger one,' Vickers said. 'Before long a bigger doe came out & I shot Then I saw two deer on the ground It shot plum through both of them.'" [Norfolk Daily News, 1/29]
Texas
"A mushy end for the love bugs at the El Paso Zoo. Not in the Valentine's Day spirit? The El Paso Zoo let people name cockroaches after ex-spouses, former friends or anyone else on the nope list. Then on THU, the cockroaches were fed to various zoo animals as part of their meals. The zoo's Facebook page features dozens of graphics showing pink hearts & black cockroaches labeled with various names or initials of people's exes. [Omaha World Herald, 2/15]Oklahoma
"No more 'cow-tipping' shirts at Oklahoma airport. The mayor of OK City has succeeded in his mission to rid the city's airport of 'cow-tipping' T-shirts. Mayor David Holt said the shirts reading 'Nothing Tips Like a Cow' have sold out & won't be restocked. Airport spokesman Josh Rya said FRI that 'the joke has run its course.'" [OWH, 2/23]Dept. of Shameless Joke Stealing *
- "You know you're getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It's like, 'See if you can blow this out.'"
- "Just burned 2,000 calories. That' the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap."
- "The only difference in my life when I'm on a diet is instead of saying 'I ate nachos,' I say, 'I accidentally ate nachos."
- "How much mint do I have to muddle into this mojito for it to count as a serving of vegetables?"
* Courtesy of Reader's Digest, Feb. 2019
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