NOTE: This blog entry contains material of a graphic nature & may not be suitable for younger readers.
Here I am, sitting in my plush 8th floor room in the Grand Kahler Hotel, sipping, no, make that gulping, as directed, the tasty solution that I've been given in preparation for my--& I don't know any other way of euphemizing * this procedure--colonoscopy, scheduled to begin at 10:15 tomorrow. More on that--maybe--later.* If that's not a real word, it should be, & I want credit for it.
Today's tests, consultations, & other appointments went very well. Unfortunately, I woke up before 4:00a, & couldn't bet back to sleep. [I was so excited about my colonoscopy tomorrow.] I finally gave up & got up at 5:00 & began my morning routine. My first appt was a chest x-ray at 7:00a. My last appointment was a wellness consultation, which got over around 4:30p.
A Trek
After I picked up this charming beverage [vintage 2018, if I'm not mistaken], I went back to my room, mixed up the solution, & stuck it in the refrigerator--part of my deluxe accommodations. ** Actually, they did upgrade my room to a king size bed. The room I was scheduled for is part of a renovation. I have a TV [which I haven't turned on yet], microwave, fridge, coffee maker, & two quaint additions that date this hotel. There is a bottle opener fastened to the door frame inside the bathroom. There is a pull-out clothesline which you, well, pull out & across the top of the bath & shower stall. Remember when the only amenities to be found in hotel rooms were clean sheets? But I digress . . .
Because of the sub-arctic blast we've been experiencing [We were in a wind chill warning for much of the day. More on that later.] I thought that it behooved me to head over to the parking garage & drive my sports car--& who's to say that it's not?--around, if for no other reason that to make sure the battery wasn't dead. The good news? The car started just fine & I drove it to the top of the parking garage & back down just to be sure. The bad news?
On my way to the car I walked right past it w/o noticing it at the end of Level 3 & meandered--in the frigid temperatures--all the way to the end of Level 4 before back-tracking & finding it. Secondly, it turns out that you have to exit all the way down to ground level, pay, then return. Meanwhile, the inside of the car approximated the outside temp, which my car's thermometer registered at 2 above zero. Next, after fumbling around for a credit card that the automated cashier would accept, I drove around the block. I drove around several blocks. I couldn't find my way back.
Meanwhile, the car is still excruciating cold, & I finally had to pull over & put in the coordinates. That led me back to the parking garage. I had to park at the end of Level 4, which was a full level away from the entrance to the Grand Kahler Hotel. By the time I got back to the room, I was thinking I might have to schedule an appointment tomorrow w/the MCFBD. *
* Mayo Clinic Frostbite Department **
** My fingers thawed out, so no appt was necessary, &, yes, I was wearing gloves while I was outside, but I had to keep taking them off & putting them back on while I fiddled w/my credit cards, map app, key card . . . But yet again I digress . . .
Pardon me while I freshen my drink . . . Aaah. Hey, this stuff isn't as bad as the stuff I remember from last time. One glass to go, & then I can mix up the solution for tomorrow morning & put it in the fridge. *
* Inquisitive minds might be wondering if I got those directions right. Yes, I did. I have to repeat the process tomorrow morning, starting at 7:00a.
License Plate Update
A bonus at having to spend way more time walking & driving in the parking garage than I had planned was the opportunity to add more license plates to my score sheet. I added CA, AZ, GA, MA, MD. At this rate, between Lois & me, we might have all the states covered by this fall. [We finished 2017 two states short: Hawaii & Rhode Island. I'm keeping my fingers crossed . . . metaphorically, since Lutherans don't believe in luck.]Weather Report
When I got up this morning, I knew we were in a wind chill advisory most of the day, so I decided to do a quick Leckband Temp Check, & I was shocked by the results. Based on data from the NOAA at 5:21a, (CST): #7, Garrison, IA, 3/wind chill -11 . . . #6, Eagan, MN, 1/-16 . . . #5, Rochester, 2/-18 . . . #4, Beatrice, NE, 1/-18 . . . #3, Lincoln, 0/-18 . . . #2, Norfolk, NE, -3/-25 . . . #1, Ventura, IA, -5/-28. So, Garrison, IA, you were the Balmiest Leckband this morning at 3/-11! * Norfolk could only muster a 2nd place finish at -3/-25. * Ventura took home the (frozen) bacon. ** It sucks to be you.
G.O.M.E.R. *
* Grumpy Old Men & Their Eloquent RantsBecause of the instructions I received in the mail, I had to begin prepping for my 10:15 procedure already last evening. For supper I had Ritz crackers. Since I got up this morning I've had one apple juice & 3 cups of chicken broth. Fortunately, I can drink all the coffee I desire, as long as I don't sully it with cream. *
* If they would have had gatorade in the coolers in the Executive Health Lounge, I could have had that, too. On the upside, it's only fair to let you know that all the food & beverages in the lounge are free. **
** On the other hand, I had to turn up my nose at a delectable array of mouthwatering salads & deli sandwiches. AND I had to watch other patient sitting in the lounge, scarfing down the free food, taunting me . . . I think. ***
*** I've begun hallucinating about the steak I'm going to have tomorrow night. This may be a side effect of the MoviPrep(c) or it may be entirely psychosomatic.
So now I get to settle back, relax, & wait for the fun to begin. [I warned you about the graphic content in today's entry!] Maybe I'll do some channel-surfing. Aloha!
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