Whimsical WED...THU edition

A PSA + Plagiarism for a Good Cause + Go Big Red!

From Omaha World Herald (10/25):  "Beware 'Halloween hand' & other scary injuries. If you value your fingers, be careful as you carve up the household jack-o'-lantern. One slip of the knife & you could wind up in the hospital with 'Halloween.' During OCT & NOV 2013, more than half of the estimated 4,400 Halloween-related injuries involved pumpkin carving, the Consumer Product Safety Commission reported." COMMENT:  This PSA may have come too late for some of you. If your spouse & children have started calling you "Stubby," I apologize.

Dept. of Shameless Joke-Stealing

From "Breaking Brad," Brad Dickson in OWH (10/16):  "I saw an online article called 'How to Have the Most Unpopular House on Your Block for Halloween.' Putting up a 10x20' 'No Soliciting' sign & barbed wire works for me."

Ditto (10/16):  "Another popular (Halloween) costume:  the remote control. A note to mothers:  Don't send Dad trick-or-treating with your kid dressed as a remote. Dad will come home alone. 'Where's Jennifer?' 'I lost her.'"

There Is No Place Like Nebraska (Today Mississippi comes in 2nd)

From OWH (10/17):  "708,000 people traveled to watch eclipse in Nebraska. The day that the moon cast Nebraska into darkness proved a bright spot for the state's economy. The AUG 21 solar eclipse had an estimated $127 million economic impact from lodging & travel spending across the state, according to a study done for the Nebraska Tourism Commission. The study . . . estimated that more than 708,000 people traveled to watch the eclipse in NE . . . "  COMMENT:  Unlike the hundreds of thousands of eclipse viewers in the Pacific Northwest, Nebraska events did NOT include bowing to the sun god & praying for the sun to return.

From Lincoln Journal Star (10/19):  "Cornhuskers' rooftop bees hunker down. Lincoln's high-rise beehives are getting for winter. More than half of the 60,000 bees on top of the Cornhusker Marriott will soon begin dying, making room for the youngest generation to carry the lives into spring . . . The Cornhusker launched the sideline business--it plans to sell the honey & also use it in pastries--in May, after hosting an artist-in-residence who used beeswax in her paintings . . . "  COMMENT:  We were at this hotel last week for the Nebraska District LCMS Professional Workers Conference. This explains the buzzing in our ears, which we attributed to a mass outbreak of tinnitus. 

Ditto (10/19):  "NU to help hurricane relief. The NE & Mississippi State men's basketball programs are squeezing in an exhibition game, & they're doing it for a great cause. The schools announced WED that they will meet in a 1:00p charity exhibition game SUN in Starkville, Mississippi. Admission to the game is free, but the American Red Cross will be collecting monetary donations to benefit Hurricane Irma relief efforts . . . "  COMMENT: First of all, consider a donation to Orphan Grain Train. [Google us @ ogt.org.] Unlike the Red Cross, 97% of your donation to us will go directly to victims of the hurricane. And KUDOs to Mississippi. FAKE NEWS? You decide. My crack team of blog detectives could neither confirm nor deny a rumor that a fund-raiser between the Yellville AR Gobblers & a local celebrity team--including the Turkey Trot "Technicians"--will be hosting a charity event to cover legal costs in defending a lawsuit by PETT.*
* People for the Ethical Treatment of Turkeys. **
** This lame "quip" will allegedly seem funnier if you read my last blog entry.