Guaranteed to be free from political commentary

CLEVER GRAND-KIDS, EXOTIC FOOD,  & OHIO vs NEBRASKA 

ADVENTURES WITH MY GRANDSON #1

We get face-timed by Kelvin (2-yrs-old in JAN) fairly often. He's got his parents--at least one of them's--sense of humor. I'd like to think that he's inherited this from his Papa Paul, too.
LAURA:  "Calvin, show Papa & Grandma what you can do. Say "kuh kuh Calvin."  
CALVIN:  "Kuh, Kuh, Mommy."
LAURA:  "Say kuh, kuh, Calvin."
CALVIN:  "Kuh, Kuh, Daddy."
LOIS:  "Say Grandma."
CALVIN:  "Papa."

ADVENTURES WITH MY GRANDSON #2

Conversation #1, on the way to preschool yesterday.
BENTLEY (age 4):  "Where's my backpack?"
RACHEL:  "Uh, oh. I forgot it at home. Mommy's sorry."
BENTLEY:  [Gives Rachel some serious stink-eye.]
RACHEL:  "Mommy's sorry, Bentley."
BENTLEY:  [Stink eye continues all the way to Helping Hands pre-school.]
RACHEL:  "I love you, Bentley. Tell Mommy you love me."
BENTLEY:  [More stink eye.]

Conversation #2, Papa & Bentley at Hy-Vee. I'm pushing him in a kids' shopping cart. He informs me that it's his favorite color. That would be red.
BENTLEY:  [As we walk down the candy aisle, he points at several sacks of candy.] "Papa, I want that!"
ME:  "No."
BENTLEY:  [As we walk down the cookie aisle, he points at several packages of cookies.] "Papa I want those, Papa!" [Now he's getting fussy.]
ME:  "No. I already have treats at home. We don't need cookies either." [Now he's really pouting.]
BENTLEY: "I want those!" [He points at a package of sanitary napkins.}
ME:  "No!"
BENTLEY:  "Why?"
ME:  "Your mother can explain why."

FOOD FOR THOUGHT

From Omaha World Herald (10/14):  Headline. "Burgers surprisingly good even though they don't contain meat."  COMMENT:  "Liar!"
Ditto (10/13):  "Older folks are coffee drinkers. Who drinks the most coffee? Older people. Percentage of people, by age, who reported having consumed a coffee beverage within the past day:  Ages 13-18, 37%; Ages 18-24, 50%; Ages 25-39, 63%; Ages 48-59, 64%; & Ages 60+, 68%.  COMMENT:  Hey, millennials & Generation X-ers. How does it feel to be coffee weenies?
Ditto (10/13):  +Headline+ "These burgers get protein from insects. Swallow deeply, pinch the the nose & repeat the mantra: 'Tastes like beef, tastes like beef.' Then bite into the burger of rice, chopped vegetables, spices & mealworm larvae. The Swiss supermarket chain Coop, to a bit of domestic hoopla, has begun selling burgers & balls(?) made from insects. It's being billed as a legal first in Europe, a continent more accustomed to steak, sausage, poultry & fish as a source of protein."  COMMENT:  My crack team of blogger researchers have not yet been able to find any evidence that this is permitted under sharia law. *
* I'm not a hater, but Europeans are, let's face it, weenies when it comes to giving up beef for insects.
** My crack team of of blogger researchers have also been unsuccessful in verifying that the insect larvae includes endangered monarch butterflies.

THERE IS NO PLACE LIKE OHIO

OWH (10/3):  "Heard but not seen. Residents of a quiet town in southwest Ohio swear they're not seeing things when they tell people monkeys are on the loose in their neighborhood. Residents in Lebanon, a city about 30 miles northeast of Cincinnati, have used their phones to capture photos of the monkeys hanging out in trees." [SEE comment below.]

FOOTBALL FOLLIES 

It pains me to say that our Cornhuskers are 24-pt underdogs against Ohio State today. I think I read that this is the largest pt spread against Nebraska since the late Middle Ages. All I can say is that at least the people in OUR state aren't running around taking pictures of alleged monkeys in our trees. * And our FB program doesn't cheat.
* In my continued quest to be transparent, I must admit that Ohio has a few more trees than Nebraska. **
** Although Nebraska is home to the largest, man-planted [or human-planted for those of you who are feme-nazi's] National Forest in the U.S., in the Sandhills around Halsey. ***
*** To be fair, Ohio does have some National forests. However, our National forests have buffalo, antelopes, whitetail & mule deers, coyotes . . .  Ohio National forests have monkeys. LOL. ****
**** Looney old Lutheran